Rogue ITV Producer Running Own Nightmarish Version Of 'I'm A Celebrity' In Cambodia

A DEMENTED TV producer is running his own hellish celebrity-based reality show in the Cambodian jungle, where he is worshipped as a god by natives.

British General Stopped Russians From Killing James Blunt

A BRITISH general's intervention to stop World War III may also have prevented the destruction of James Blunt, it emerged last night.

British Gas To Just Shoot Your Dog In The Face

SOMEONE from British Gas will be round this afternoon to shoot your dog in the face, it has been confirmed.

Xbox Kinect Targets Middle-Aged People With No Self-Respect

MICROSOFT has launched a new games system in a bid to dominate the market in embarrassing, movement-based fun for middle-aged losers.

Twitter Trial Judge Issues Arrest Warrant For Wile E. Coyote

A LEADING circuit judge has today issued an arrest warrant for hungry cartoon predator Wile E Coyote.

Glastonbury To Be Powered By Jugglers

ENERGY for next year's Glastonbury festival will be provided by a troupe of electromagnetic circus performers.

Michael Bay To Direct Hollywood Reboot Of Mike Leigh's 'Another Year'

THE US remake of Mike Leigh's Another Year will feature Jim Broadbent with a pair of massive robot arms, the producers have confirmed.

Britain Backs Middle Class Children Who Want The Moon On A Stick

BRITAIN today threw its weight behind middle class children who deserve everything handed to them on a plate because they're all so very special.