News

UK legal system peaks with judgement about woman's fanny

A THOUSAND years of British legal history has reached its summit in a decision on the privacy of a woman's fandango.

Philip to say 'Mick' no more than eight times

PRINCE Philip will be allowed into Ireland today on condition he calls them all 'Micks' no more than eight times during the four day visit.

E-readers 'a threat to impressive-looking bookshelves'

ELECTRONIC reading devices are not as good as real books for making you look clever, it was claimed last night.

Global warming real again

RECORD spring temperatures across the UK have raised concerns that global warming might be a real thing after all.

Experts to probe mystery of Keith Allen's 'career'

RESEARCHERS are to launch a fresh study into what Keith Allen is for.

Fresh blow for human nature as experts say it includes religion

THE reputation of human nature plumbed new depths last night as experts claimed it includes believing in god.

Lecter hired PR firm to smear the shark from 'Jaws'

HANNIBAL Lecter used a public relations firm to mount a smear campaign against his chief rival in flesh-eating villainy, it has emerged.

Chromebook to remove final hiding place

THE Chromebook will remove the final place where consumers can try and hide from Google, the company has announced.