Sad losers thrilled by new Lamborghini

THE sort of men who will never even own a car have been thrilled by the new Lamborghini Veneno.

Lara Croft game shows her as teenage shoplifter

LARA Croft: Shop Lifter shows the character as a teenage thief nicking eye liner from Boots, it has emerged.

UK health record paves way for new round of bothering you

THE UK's health record will lead to a new era in being bothered constantly.

Housing crash caused by moving house

THE number of people buying houses has been linked to what a massive ball-ache it is.

Bieber late because he was being Taylor Swift

JUSTIN Bieber left fans waiting for two hours because he overran at another venue as Taylor Swift.

Spoiled children more likely to become your boss

OVER-INDULGED infants will grow up to employ you, it has been claimed.

Church ready for hot Pope

A 24-YEAR-OLD swimwear model called Cassius has emerged as favourite for the Papacy.