News

Greggs fury at Michelin snub

PASTY incubator Greggs has called for an inquiry after being overlooked for one of cuisine's biggest honours, it has emerged.

Would you shag the Birmingham Six? Asks Matthew Wright

CONTROVERSIAL chat show host Matthew Wright has defended a live TV phone-in debate about whether members of the public would have sex with the Birmingham Six, and if so, in what order.

BBC2 replaced by squirrel with huge genitals

THE BBC is to replace much of its programming with footage of a strikingly well-endowed squirrel, it has been announced.

Palin leaves gap for nutter

SARAH Palin has opened the way for a class-A nutter to grab the Republican presidential nomination.

Toddlers and Wetherspoon's regulars not dissimilar

TWO year-olds have been bonding with other people who talk gibberish and piss themselves since the opening of a toddler group at a Wetherspoon's.

Can we get Flash now? ask Apple owners

OWNERS of iThings have asked if they can get Adobe Flash Player now.

River Cottage downshifters 'must mate with locals'

URBAN professionals escaping to rural areas must contribute to the local gene pool, it has been claimed.

World distracted from economic collapse by slightly better camera

THE incremental collapse of the system that provides everything has once again been overshadowed by a marginally better camera.