News

Kate to continue public engagements while vomiting

THE Duchess of Cambridge is to fufil all her public engagements while throwing up.

Most British wildlife now living in abandoned DVD libraries

THE majority of Britain’s hedgehogs, moles and hares have made homes in derelict DVD libraries.

Telepathy ‘would be total nightmare’

TELEPATHY would be a huge step forward in human evolution and also an absolute nightmare, scientists have confirmed.

Swapping Piers Morgan for James Corden 'like act of violence', says America

AMERICANS have begged England to stop sending them smug, fat-faced English television presenters.

Women somehow not patronised by all advertising

FOR some reason women do not feel utterly patronised by all advertising, researchers have found.

Brown woos Scots with thrilling timetable

GORDON Brown has pledged to save Britain with an exciting timetable of parliamentary debates.

Prince George urged to abdicate

BRITAIN has told Prince George to make way for a fresh face who can revitalise the monarchy.

NATO to arm ISIL to fight ISIS

NATO has agreed to provide arms to radical Islamic group ISIL in the hope they can halt the spread of ISIS.