News

Gaddafi welcomed by online forums

LIBYAN leader Colonel Gaddafi has been offered sanctuary by the internet's legion of keyboard warriors.

Train company unveils 34-syllable ticket

THE new Semi-Super Saver Single Return Railroader Autumn Summer Traveller Student Nurse District Pet Family Oxbow Lake Pass is actually straightforward, according to train bosses.

Middleton exorcised after speaking in tongues

FUTURE royal brood mare Kate Middleton was admitted to church last night after apparently being possessed by Satan.

Boardrooms should be 14% Brazilian tranny

ONE in every seven company directors in Britain should be a Brazilian transvestite with a pronounced facial tick, according to a new report.

iPhone barricades itself in motel with drugs and whores

THE increasingly unpopular iPhone last night barricaded itself in a motel room with a brace of whores and a side arm.

British Gas bullshit up 24%

THE nauseating bullshit British Gas uses to justify its vicious profiteering leapt 24% last year.

UK rescue attempt convinces Brits to stay in Libya

UK attempts to rescue British citizens trapped in Libya have convinced most of them to dig a big hole in the sand and live in it.

Auction uncovers 'Five Go Deporting'

AUCTIONEERS have discovered an unpublished Enid Blyton manuscript about a group of children who spend the summer deporting gypsies.