News

Employers predict you will work harder for less money

BOSSES across the UK are going to make you work harder so they can buy more things, according to a new survey.

Star Wars producers face 55 million Yoda impersonators

THE producers of Star Wars Episode 7 have discovered too late that Britain is a nation of Yoda impersonators.

Kate changes hair, face and flees country

THE Duchess of Cambridge has followed up her new hairstyle with radical cosmetic surgery and a new name.

Britain mourns man who actually knew what he was talking about

BRITAIN is today mourning one of the tiny handful of people in the country who had genuine knowledge and insight about an actual thing.

Bieber fandom just a cruel prank

MILLIONS of young girls just pretended to like Justin Bieber as an evil joke, it has emerged.

Corporate marketing tool to warm morons' hearts

IMBECILES around the UK are preparing to be enchanted by an advert for a big shop.

Rest of UK excited about underwater London

NEW projections that London will be reclaimed by the sea have been greeted enthusiastically by the rest of the country.

DJ talks about his work as if it has artistic merit

A DANCE music DJ has spoken about his work like he is some sort of artist.