Adorable cat porn breaks internet

THE internet was knocked offline yesterday after the launch of a site featuring adorable, cheeky cats having full-on sexual intercourse.

Even the shittest Euro-drama coming to British TV

UK TV channels have snapped up the rights to every European drama series of the latest decade, even Troll Cop.

Parents find their children equally unfavourable

PARENTS have denied having a 'favourite' child, claiming to find all their offspring equally hard to tolerate.

Hollywood confounded by thin non-black hacker

PRODUCERS of blockbuster movies have been dismayed by Edward Snowden's failure to be either black, fat, or a fat black man.

Festivals not corporate enough, say kids

MUSIC festivals should have more branding and marketing, according to young people.

Most hoarders just doing it to get on telly

PEOPLE who pile up old shit in their homes mostly do it just for the TV exposure.