Most seaside donkeys on smack

BRITAIN'S beach donkeys are increasingly addicted to heroin, it has emerged.

Mugabe to share power with Nick Clegg

ROBERT Mugabe has agreed to share the Zimbabwean presidency with Nick Clegg.

Twitter silence highlights misogyny and narcissism

A 24-HOUR Twitter boycott has highlighted the twin social evils of misogyny and narcissism.

New Doctor Who not going to have any science fiction elements

THE next series of Doctor Who is going to be about an actual doctor, the BBC has announced.

Men die of horniness in one-day heatwave

YESTERDAY'S 24-hour heatwave has claimed the lives of nine men who were overwhelmed by sex thoughts.

Camping for a week resets body clock to half-past insane

SPENDING a week in a tent is long enough for you to believe that it was actually a good idea in the first place.