A RETRO fanatic has set up a free school providing a traditional 1980s education.
PRINCE Charles has instructed his mother that he intends to wait out his days as heir to the throne in the pub.
MEN-O-WAR sting swimmers then feel them up with their tentacles, it has been claimed.
BRITISH troops have assured the Taleban that the intention to kill them has been perfectly clear for a while.
BRITAIN'S 500,000 cynics have been released from temporary incarceration below the Olympic stadium.
BENEFIT assessments have been replaced by TV game show-inspired challenges including 'Dole or No Dole'.
THE workers responsible for rubbish and human shit are having a rocking time today at the site of the Bestival event.
AFTER weeks of Olympics, Britons are celebrating the end of disruption to the television schedules.