News

Friday night’s hangover still hanging around

A HANGOVER which began early on Saturday morning is showing no signs of going anywhere late into Sunday.

Northern gonorrhoea hard as nails

THE North’s sexually transmitted diseases can beat any antibiotic on the market without putting their pints down, doctors have confirmed.

Nobody willing to brag about good music they saw on 'Jools'

GOOD new music is going unheralded because nobody will admit to watching Later…with Jools Holland, it has emerged.

Hungary now known for Rubik's Cube, goulash and telling refugees to f**k off

HUNGARY has shown there is more to it than cube puzzles by tear-gassing fleeing Syrians.

Kate Middleton grows fringe to hide Dead Kennedys tattoo

THE Duchess of Cambridge has grown out her hair to hide the Dead Kennedys tattoo on her right temple.

Middle class people launch feeble retaliatory piss-take

PEOPLE whose middle class lifestyles are easy targets for snide humour have attempted to turn the tables.

American teenager arrested for interest in science

A TEXAN boy has been arrested for doing science.

Dog realises he was adopted

A LABRADOR has realised that the people he thought were his parents are actually a different species.