TOURIST attractions in the UK must redouble their efforts to stop the place being overrun by foreigners, officials have warned.
PUSH bike devotees are scheming to subjugate the Western world to their deity Shimano, it emerged last night.
TRANSPORT unions have been forced into a tactical rethink after it emerged a four year-old male chimpanzee is working on the Bakerloo line.
LONG-running suicide note Eastenders fails to fully capture how revolting Cockneys are, the BBC have admitted.
THE microbes present in TV chef Jamie Oliver's restaurant kitchens are cool and laid-back, it was claimed last night.
THE government is to overhaul road traffic enforcement to crack down on the sort of people who have no interest in elections.
MAX Mosley will have no idea when his bare bottom is about to be pummelled by a large, angry woman, pretending to be German.
PEOPLE who believe they are intolerant to certain foods have been advised to stop going on about it.