News

Dickens no longer relevant to thieving street orphans

THE works of Charles Dickens have nothing to offer London's 21st Century thieving underclass, say experts.

Google kicks Queen in the face

GOOGLE has kicked the Queen squarely in the teeth, it has been confirmed.

Snow continues to be the same

THIS year's snow is the same as last year's, it has been confirmed.

Panic as Britain Huhneless

BRITAIN is in the hands of a Huhneless government.

Scottish expedition discovers then deep-fries massive prawn

MARINE biologists from Scotland have discovered, deep-fried and eaten the world's biggest prawn.

William to appease Argentina with Nazi uniform

PRINCE William is to ease the growing tension with Argentina by borrowing his brother's SS uniform.

Men thank their mothers for not being Denise Welch

MEN across Britain have forgiven their mothers for everything they have said or done after encountering Denise Welch.

IT professionals deny they would ever help anyone

CLAIMS surrounding James Murdoch's missing emails have prompted IT staff to deny they would ever assist a colleague with anything, ever.