46% of middle class children raised by monkeys

BUSY parents are increasingly relying on primates to provide childcare, it has emerged.

Recession 'not source of misery after all'

THE end of the recession has failed to bring widespread joy.

Creative people likely to suffer from pretentiousness

ARTISTIC people are prone to being full of shit, according to a new study.

Exasperated CIA opens UFO to public

THE CIA has turned its extraterrestrial things into a tourist attraction after running out of patience.

French economy based entirely on Serge Gainsbourg back catalogue

THERE has been hardly any economic activity in France since the last Serge Gainsbourg album, it has emerged.

Government hoping you die soon

WITH death rates at their lowest ever level, the government is encouraging you to die.

Starbucks crowded out by ruthless independent tearooms

STARBUCKS is being crowded out of the UK market by the ruthless business practices of quirky local tearooms.