News

Nuts relaunched as feminist magazine

LADS’ mag Nuts is being relaunched for feminist readers.

Smoking ban undermined by people sucking things

ANTI-SMOKING campaigners have called for a ban on anything that can be sucked.

South East finally being wiped clean by the wrath of God

LIKE the ancient Egyptian city of Tanis, the south east of England is, at last, being wiped clean by the wrath of God.

Weather breakthrough prompts idiot to bang on about chaos theory

LONG-RANGE weather forecasting is impossible because of the chaos theory, according to office worker Tom Logan.

Rural areas only allowed 1990s internet

PEOPLE living in rural areas can only have the internet of 1999, the government has announced.

How I Met Your Mother probably ended as it must have begun, with sodomy and Nazis

US sitcom How I Met Your Mother last night would have ended as it probably began - with gratuitous anal sex and fascism.

Vegetables are good for you, say experts

FOOD scientists have turned nutrition on its head by claiming that eating vegetables may be a good idea.

Heroes of 'young adult' novels more special than everyone else

THE heroes of teenage fiction are all far superior to the dull contemporaries who pick on them, it has been confirmed.