News

Joss Stone murder plot not some weird dream

THE alleged plot to kill Joss Stone with a sword is not one of those dreams you keep having, it emerged last night.

Festival-goers hoping acts won't distract from camera phone use

AS the festival season begins, there are growing concerns the events are increasingly focusing on music instead of gratuitous, ego-driven amateur photography.

Sean Bean beatified by Northerners

DRESSING-up hardman Sean Bean has taken a crucial step towards becoming the North of England's first living saint.

NHS to be reformed merely for the sake of it

THE government has backed down on ideologically-driven changes to the NHS and will now overhaul the health service 'because'.

Council offices to grind to whatever is slower than a halt

STRIKE action by council workers could lead to a redefinition of the concept of movement, it emerged last night.

Shark attacked by British holidaymakers

A GREAT WHITE shark escaped with cuts and bruises after straying into coastal waters full of British drunks.

Reading Discworld backwards 'makes you want to kill yourself'

READING Sir Terry Pratchett's Discworld saga back to front makes you want to commit suicide, supporters of unbearable pain said last night.

Sex addiction linked to being a wealthy middle-aged man

SCIENTISTS believe they are closer to curing sex addiction after identifying an unusually high incidence among rich, ageing men.