SCOTLAND was last night fleeing in terror after a surprise attack from the first battalion of Her Majesty's Daily Telegraph.
MICHAEL Gove today called for everyone to get annoyed about the Queen's unrelenting pointlessness.
A BLACK-and-white tribute to the golden age of silent cinema, has been
named this year's most 'amaaayzing' film by people you will overhear in coffee shops.
NICK Clegg wants the British economy to be filled with middle class kitchen utensils and adverts made by bastards.
LOCAL authorities celebrated last night after a High Court ruling gave them the right to impound cars just totally on a whim.
RAPPER Jay-Z has purchased a million-dollar garden shed following the birth of his daughter, it has emerged.
PEOPLE suffering from depression should avoid looking at the Brit Awards, according to mental health experts.
BRITAIN'S relatively pleasant winter weather has taught absolutely nothing to an idle grasshopper that ignored the advice of an industrious ant.