80s free school launched

A RETRO fanatic has set up a free school providing a traditional 1980s education.

If you need me I'll be in the pub, Charles tells Queen

PRINCE Charles has instructed his mother that he intends to wait out his days as heir to the throne in the pub.

Man-o-war 'uses tentacles for sleazy groping'

MEN-O-WAR sting swimmers then feel them up with their tentacles, it has been claimed.

We kind of assumed you wanted to kill us, army tells Taleban

BRITISH troops have assured the Taleban that the intention to kill them has been perfectly clear for a while.

Cynics released from Olympic dungeons

BRITAIN'S 500,000 cynics have been released from temporary incarceration below the Olympic stadium.

Benefits allocated using game show-style challenges

BENEFIT assessments have been replaced by TV game show-inspired challenges including 'Dole or No Dole'.

Bestival fun continues for those in charge of litter and faeces

THE workers responsible for rubbish and human shit are having a rocking time today at the site of the Bestival event.

Britain hails return of normal telly

AFTER weeks of Olympics, Britons are celebrating the end of disruption to the television schedules.