News

Television now like books

TELEVISED entertainment is mostly for clever people and snobs, it has been claimed.

Tax statements to be tailored to your idiotic, tribal prejudice

TAXPAYERS are to receive a detailed breakdown of how their money was spent that is indvidually tailored to their cretinous world view.

Olympics to feature 24-hour Sunday looting

SHOPS will be available for looting during the Olympics 24 hours a day, including Sundays.

Man bored of leading thing that doesn't matter

A MAN who led a thing that doesn't matter for 10 years has become bored of it.

Mother's unconditional love means you don't need to get her anything good

YOUR mother's love for you is unbreakable and so you do not have to spend a lot this Sunday, experts have confirmed.

Bill Roache had sex with same 1,000 women as Mick Hucknall

CORONATION Street actor Bill Roache and Simply Red frontman Mick Hucknall have bedded the same 1,000 women, it has been confirmed.

Michelle Obama sick of Samantha Cameron's hip hop references

US First Lady Michelle Obama is avoiding Samantha Cameron because she is tired of discussing rap music.

'Hunter-gatherer' now 'parker'

A SLIGHTLY superior ability to reverse vehicles into gaps between other vehicles is the only reason men still exist, experts have claimed.