News

111 rescued by nosy interfering old women

THE NHS's non-emergency helpline is to be staffed by overly-inquistive old women.

Mysterious humming noise 'made by dads'

THE mysterious humming noise heard around the world is dads attempting to replicate popular music.

Who am I to judge the Pope, says gay man

A GAY man has said that although Pope-ish acts are bad, a Pope-ish orientation is not.

Rain fails to dampen Womad crowd's tiresome positivity

DESPITE poor weather, everyone at this year's Womad festival remained nauseatingly upbeat.

Brazilians asked if they are insane

THREE million Brazil residents who attended a mass by the Pope have been asked what they were thinking.

Ant Day declared a national holiday

BRITAIN has a new ant-based national holiday.

Lads' mags to come in 'bite-through' packaging

'LADS' magazines are to be sold in bags that readers must tear apart with their teeth to view the nudity within.