News

Women wrong, says cleverest person in world

THE fundamental wrongness of women has been established beyond doubt.

La Senza pins hopes on Human Centipede range

STRUGGLING lingerie giant La Senza is to relaunch with the introduction of a new range inspired by the Human Centipede films.

Britain really fancies a pint

MOST of Britain could cheerfully go on a three-day session after just one day back at work, it has emerged.

Healthy eating campaign makes Britons want to die younger

THE latest government healthy eating campaign has made UK citizens feel okay about dying soon.

Mail becomes cause of and solution to racism

THE Daily Mail has today launched a five year plan to prevent exactly as much racism as it creates.

Female MPs overlooked for promotion when they pose for GQ

WOMEN MPs who get all dolled-up and pose for men's magazines are not taken seriously, experts have claimed.

The net closes in on Prince Philip

PRINCE Philip has begun a damage limitation exercise after human remains were discovered at Sandringham.