News
Rubbing Groin And Staring Boosts Sex Appeal
RUBBING your groin and inner thigh while staring at women makes you more sexually attractive, according to a new study.
Stock Exchange Reopens Shouting Pits
COMPUTER problems have forced the London Stock Exchange to reopen its famous shouting pits.
US Becomes World's Biggest Council Estate
AMERICA became the world's largest council estate last night after the US government bought all the houses.
Chops Better Than Planet
A UNITED Nation's plea to reduce meat consumption was rejected last night as millions decided planet Earth was not as good as some nice chops.
Obeying Chris Moyles Now Number One Cause Of Hospital Admissions
DOING everything Chris Moyles tells you to do is now the UK's biggest cause of accident and emergency cases.
Coldplay Link To Unbearable Arseholes
FANS of Coldplay are more likely to display the personality traits of unbearable, self-satisfied arseholes, according to new research.
Diana Film Not About Diana Obviously About Diana
A FILM about Princess Diana that the film-makers say is not about Princess Diana is obviously about Princess Diana, cinemagoers said last night.
Fatboy Slim Looks Nothing Like Johnny Ball
SUPERSTAR DJ Fatboy slim bears no resemblance whatsoever to his father-in-law, it was confirmed last night.