FEMALE recording artists who claim to have raunchy lesbian tendencies
must spend a night locked in with a minotaur-like 'diesel dyke', it has
EXTRA-TERRESTRIALS living at the American military's secret containment facility must go out and earn their keep, it was announced last night.
MILLIONS of people across the world have been denied the chance to use up the best part of their morning staring at the gloopy contents of Osama Bin Laden's ruptured head.
MIDDLE class people have asserted their right to feel smug about not
having a television despite watching exactly the same shit on computers.
THE elite special forces team that killed Osama bin Laden is to inspire a big-budget film, an edgy boy band and a no-nonsense dish washing sponge.
PAKISTAN last night pointed at the sky and screamed in a pathetic attempt to distract the world from its nauseatingly transparent guilt.
THE Catholic Church last night beatified Ringo Starr by mistake.
BRITAIN has been inspired and energised by the joining together of Pippa Middleton's left and right buttocks.