News

Cameron urges Britons to steal from European hotels

DAVID Cameron has told British tourists to recoup the UK’s £2 billion EU surcharge by stealing things from continental hotels.

Any company making a profit is lying

ANY business which claims to be successful is covering up a huge hole in its accounts, analysts have confirmed.

Soup claiming to be a full meal

SOUP is continuing to insist it is a main course despite barely functioning as a starter.

‘Getting your name out there’ to become legal tender

ANYONE asked to undertake unpaid work can exchange Facebook ‘likes’ for food under a new government initiative.

Argentine Top Gear leaves trail of destruction

ARGENTINIAN motoring show Marcha Mas has left outrage in its wake on a trip to the UK.

Afterlife only for animals

ONLY animals go to Heaven, it has emerged.

Git of the Year

IT is quite simple, there is a list of gits and you vote for one.

Paranoia now part of national identity

BRITAIN'S national character now includes the belief that everything is an evil conspiracy.