THE majority of British adults should be killed by the government, according to a new survey.
MUSCULAR homosexual Russian men have been giving free titillating car washes in support of their beloved Vladimir Putin.
PEOPLE with the browser Internet Explorer were last night told they were using it to 'explore' the 'internet'.
SCARY dragon Duncan Bannatyne last night said he was 'in' for 30 per cent of a funky device that breaks people's arms.
CHILDHOOD eating disorders may be caused by giving them plate after plate of food that is just shit, experts have claimed.
EXCEPTIONAL students will be offered a guaranteed loss of virginity by universities vying to recruit them, it has emerged.
BONUSES at Barclays will rise despite a fall in profits because that is just how the whole thing actually works, the bank has explained.
TRANSPORTING food into a field to eat it is a worthless endeavour, it was claimed last night.