GORDON Brown has begun his political fightback by appearing in a hilarious video about Britain's looming economic collapse.
GLAM rock paedophile Gary Glitter has refused to return to the United Kingdom, insisting British children are far too fat and ugly.
NO women were involved in the making of the latest advert for Always pantyliners, it was confirmed last night.
A LEADING economist last night admitted he had talked himself into talking us all into a major global recession.
THE temporary euphoria of Britain's Olympic success came to an abrupt halt this morning as millions of commuters remembered what an unmitigated shithole this country really is.
A SPECTACULAR new photo shoot by glamour model Katie Price has revealed the echoing chasm at the centre of her being.
WEST END sensation Ruthie Henshall last night apologised for the confusion over her royal love affair, stressing that she obviously meant Prince Andrew.
TYNEMOUTH council last night unveiled a new £5m park in its bid to become the European capital of giant, cock-based graffiti.