BARONESS Thatcher was making a remarkable recovery from illness last night, as she gained sustenance from Britain's collective trauma.
EFFORTS to get Britain's stupidest people online by 2011 have been suspended after free modems were boiled or used as hats.
THE broadcaster of The Only Way Is Essex is to apologise to the county's residents using pictures of things they recognise.
SIMON Cowell will last as long as the universe contains beings with television sets and money, it was confirmed yesterday.
POLICE are stopping disproportionate numbers of ethnic minorities purely so that they can act 'street', it has emerged.
POP music all sounds the same these days, the singer of Goodbye Candle in the Road claimed last night.
A PROGRAMME of paid sterilisation is to be extended to people who are still watching Glee.
PRINCE William has fuelled speculation that an official Royal dumping could come as early as next February.