News

Climate change still not terrifying enough

IF scientists want us to be scared of climate change they are going to have to try a lot harder, it has been confirmed.

Network Rail clones Hitler

NETWORK Rail has begun production of Hitler clones that will make trains run on time.

Prince George now a healthy young spaniel

PRINCE George has grown into a bouncing, bright-eyed cocker spaniel, new pictures have revealed.

80 per cent of men are twats

THE majority of men are either meatheads or vain self-absorbed idiots, it has emerged.

Best Emoji won by one that looks like a penis

THE prestigious Emoji awards have given the emoji that most resembles a dick the top prize for the third year in a row.

Clocks go either back or forward this weekend or next weekend

THE UK has been reminded that the clocks go forward for spring, or possibly back, this Saturday or maybe the Saturday after.

Porn 'age gates' appeal to teenage boys' innate sense of honour

AGE restrictions on pornography websites work because teenage boys are never deceitful, it has been claimed.

Mothers warned not to get used to this

MUMS have been reminded that things will be straight back to normal after Sunday.