INTERNET users will be forced to reveal details of their pathetic lives in a new drive to stop them being ghastly.
EVERY copy of the News of the World printed since 1999 contained a tiny, hidden microphone, it has emerged.
BOUTIQUE computer giant Apple will no longer be selling its machines to the ugly, it has been confirmed.
COSMETICS giant L'Oreal has admitted its disappointment at not being allowed to commit fraud.
THE world's largest gathering of picture-story fans is teeming with adults, it has emerged.
PRINCE William has continued creeping out the entire nation by giving his new wife a 1980s-style blonde wig.
US intellectual Glenn Beck has been urged to keep up the pressure on the victims of the Norway massacre.
LIBERAL western culture does not seem to have noticed it is under threat, experts have confirmed.