News

Crowd not bothered about second encore

FANS attending a Wombats gig have half-heartedly requested the band return a second time while checking their phones.

Celebrities now landing planes wherever they feel like

CELEBRITIES are so detached from everyday life they are landing their planes wherever they want, experts have claimed.

‘World Book Day’ sees every child dressed as film character

EVERY child who dressed up for ‘World Book Day’ is just a character from a popular film.

Venues must set tickets aside for weird people

NIGHTCLUBS must now reserve five per cent of their tickets for strange social misfits.

Suburban rats are loathsome social climbers

SO-CALLED ‘suburban’ rats are appalling bourgeois snobs, it has been claimed.

Israel declares US has declared war on Iran

ISRAELI prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu has announced that the United States is at war with Iran.

Homeless fairies getting into smack

FAIRIES evicted from a wood in Somerset have turned to drugs and crime, it has emerged.

Bill Gates 'would give it all up to be cool for just one day'

THE world’s richest man has admitted he would swap it all for 24 hours of coolness.