News

Yes, it does do telly, weary Sony tells UK

ELECTRONICS giant Sony has grudgingly responded to the British public's single question about its sophisticated new tablet computer.

Syria stands on naughty step

POLITICIANS in Syria have sobbingly asked William Hague if he can just give them a second chance.

Steve Davis to make prog rock sexy again

LITHE snooker legend Steve Davis's new BBC radio show is going to put the sexy back into progressive rock music, it was claimed last night.

Idiots face SAS book shortage

SAS recruitment problems may leave Britain's idiots with nothing to read on holiday, experts have warned.

Britain's workers grant themselves three days of semi-holiday

THE UK's employees aren't going to be doing a lot this week, they have announced.

Jesus loved eggs, say experts

THE mystic role of eggs in Easter is based on Christ's love of eating them, experts have claimed.

Royal effigies 'a breach of copyright'

FERVENT anti-royalists planning to burn effigies of William and Kate have been warned against making their own bootleg figurines.

Nine hundred Christians make slight change to their delusion

ALMOST one thousand Anglicans are to mark Easter by making a slight adaptation to their voodoo.