AN inquiry was launched last night into why it has taken more than a week to trace the Ecoli outbreak to the foulest of all vegetables.
MODERN magazines like Nuts lack the unpretentious honesty of Razzle and Knave, according to the prime minister.
A NEW repellent designed to deter mosquitoes has given the insects an insatiable hunger for Geordies.
THOUSANDS of relieved men have expressed their gratitude after buying fraudulent Take That tickets.
THE call centre bosses whose minions regularly upset your nan are still ignoring demands to destroy themselves, according to new research.
THERE were fresh concerns about Britain last night after officials found it necessary to remind fully-grown humans to wash their hands after going to the lavatory.
CHINA'S plans for world domination now include the relentless purchase of all physical assets, your total, crushing enslavement and having a sneaky peek at your email account.
READING is turning young people into homosexuals, it emerged last night.