MANY local councils are to charge more for what amounts to emptying bins, it has emerged.
THE UK is going to be a total bastard to foreigners and people in general, David Cameron has announced.
THE MARRIED couple sent to Mars will have a falling-out when they miss the planetary turn-off, it has been claimed.
TITANIC II has pledged to destroy all the world's icebergs.
BRITISH Gas will take on 1,000 young people over the next three years and teach them how to be unremitting bastards.
GEORGE Osborne hopes to fix the economy by reversing the polarity of the pound.
WORKING from home is great - it's almost like being free.