SIMON Cowell has announced early release for prisoners who pledge to buy
One Direction's debut CD, as he begins to overhaul Britain's statute
A MASSIVE, country-wide fist fight could be the solution to Britain's problems, experts have claimed.
BRITAIN is to abolish its 900 year-old university system after finally realising it is a complete waste of everyone's time.
IN a last minute change, CNN has ditched trainee journalist Piers Morgan in favour of Bruce Forsyth.
THE point of Wikileaks became clear last night after viral attacks on credit card websites stopped someone from buying Chris de Burgh's The Storyman.
FEMALE workers are not just there to brighten the place up, they are also increasingly useful, according to new research.