SWINDON is a hotbed of unbridled lesbian sex, the town's borough council claimed last night.
A QUARTER of the world's population is unable to have a few sherberts or stare at some knockers they do not already own, according to new research.
THE government is to pay the unemployed to hang around shopping centres pretending to be clinically insane, it emerged last night.
DANYL Johnson, the android X-Factor contestant, has killed four of his rivals after a dress rehearsal malfunction.
A NEW vaccine designed to treat cocaine addiction also produces a pleasant, drifty feeling that you could very easily get used to, it emerged last night.
GREGGS the baker last night assured its customers it would never ever judge them.