A MASSIVE diamond heist heralds a new golden age of sexy crime, it has been claimed.
THE picturesque parts of Britain are now full of utter dickbags, it has emerged.
THE Royal Mail is offering to bury the heap of marketing bullshit it would otherwise put through your letterbox.
ALL products will soon feature graphic imagery illustrating how they might kill you.
IF Booker prize winner Hilary Mantel wants a piece of the Duchess of Cambridge, she can have it, St James's Palace has confirmed.