News

Rescheduled CERN neutrino test to take place last week

CERN'S controversial neutrino experiment will be/has already been/is being rescheduled for last week, scientists have announced/will announce/are currently announcing.

Overenthusiastic chimp impersonator rips off man's arm

OFFICE worker Tom Logan tore off a friend's limb after getting too into character during his party-piece primate impression, it has emerged.

Human rights groups rally to stop newsreaders' Children in Need sketch

CAMPAIGNERS are working desperately to stop BBC News broadcasters performing a Strictly skit in this year’s upcoming Children In Need show.

New Bond film to involve large amounts of paperwork

THE latest James Bond film will feature unprecedented levels of admin, according to its makers.

Game of Thrones is 'fantasy gateway drug'

THE hugely popular A Game of Thrones books are leading thousands into the desperate squalor of fantasy dependency, it has been claimed.

Liz Jones launches used condom appeal

DAILY Mail experiment Liz Jones has urged men across Britain to send her their used condoms.

Scotland 'needs another Waitrose'

SCOTLAND could prevent up to 40,000 deaths a year if it had another Waitrose, experts have claimed.

Internet weirdos take first step towards running country

BRITAIN'S weird, internet bigots are flocking to the government's E-Petitions site in a bid to make parliament talk about all the things they hate.