News

Forsyth cracks America

IN a last minute change, CNN has ditched trainee journalist Piers Morgan in favour of Bruce Forsyth.

Wikileaks row stops someone from buying a Chris de Burgh album

THE point of Wikileaks became clear last night after viral attacks on credit card websites stopped someone from buying Chris de Burgh's The Storyman.

Women doing their best

FEMALE workers are not just there to brighten the place up, they are also increasingly useful, according to new research.

Other Species Increasingly Obsessed With Fame

INSECTS and animals are increasingly exhibiting fame-hungry behaviour, according to experts.

Google takes a year and a half to invent something better than Windows

INTERNET giant Google was facing collapse last night after it revealed it had taken 18 months to come up with something that might be better than Windows.

Police Leave Kate Middleton On Car Roof

KATE Middleton has been misplaced somewhere in west London after her Special Branch protection officers left her on the roof of their car and drove off.

Assange to escape from police at the top of some stairs

POLICE today said they expected Wikileaks founder Julian Assange to attempt an escape, probably at the top of a long flight of stairs.

Smiths Records Played Backwards Urge Listeners To Vote Tory

CLASSIC Smiths albums like Meat is Murder contain hidden pro-Tory messages only audible when the vinyl is played backwards, it was claimed last night.