Our kids aren't taking enough drugs, say rave parents

PARENTS who experienced rave culture are increasingly concerned about their children's low intake of Class A drugs.

Britain to put more angry old Scotsmen on the radio

RADIO stations are to contact old Scottish men and get them confused and angry, live on air.

Man wearing f*cking shorts

THERE have been sightings of a man walking around in f*cking shorts.

MPs recommend weed for Tories opposed to gay marriage

CANNABIS should be legalised for Tories who are frightened of the gayness, MPs have claimed.

Patrick Moore probably going to be remembered as an astrologer

STARGAZER Patrick Moore will be remembered an astrologer, because a lot of people are not very bright.