News

Nasty little monkeys do horrible things

BONOBO monkeys are disgusting, according to new research.

Maths impossible

BRITAIN'S poor numeracy is the fault of maths for being so hard, experts have claimed.

Tyrannosaurus Rex got mad respect

THE T-Rex received bare respect back in the day because of its powerful jaws but was not immune to haters, experts have claimed.

All we're trying to do is read your mind, says Google

GOOGLE has insisted its new privacy policy is nothing more than a simplified method for collecting every last detail about you until it becomes you.

Archaeologists killed by vampire Jesus

THE immortal vampire Jesus is on the rampage again after a team of excavators disturbed his ancient coffin.


Please buy a Blackberry Playbook, says guilt-ridden Apple

ELECTRONICS giant Apple has begun promoting Blackberry's unfortunate tablet machine out of a mixture of pity and guilt.

Met loaned Mystic Meg a water cannon

SUN astrologer Mystic Meg was given use of a CVT6000 police water cannon in 2007, it has emerged.

Men in hiding

THOUSANDS of men left for work at 5am this morning to avoid being proposed at.