News

Bank does bad maths thing

Public comprehends words 'dude' and 'Bollinger' in otherwise mysterious event.

Ian Beale to return as a Yardie

EASTENDERS is to become yet more unrealistic with the return of Ian Beale as a Jamaican-style gangster.

J. Jonah Jameson appears at Leveson Inquiry

THE editor of the Daily Bugle has given evidence to the Leveson Inquiry about his newspaper's negative coverage of Spider-Man.

Computers become moron

ENGINEERS working for Google have linked together 1,000 computers to perform the role of one really annoying person.

Festival with kids to be worst experience imaginable

PEOPLE taking their children to music festivals are going to get exactly what they deserve, it has emerged.

Natwest computer 'full of chickens and lepers'

NATWEST'S IT calamity was caused by animals and beggars getting into its India-based computer system, it has been claimed.

100-year-old tortoise dies after 78-year bender

LONESOME George, a tortoise believed to be the last of his species, has expired after a 78-year drugs and alcohol binge.

Sentimental bread advert made by people on cocaine

A TOUCHING, big-hearted bread advert was made by a group of arrogant cocaine users, it has emerged.