News

'Atheist bible' an impossible fairy story, say Christians

THE idea that people could do good things without religion is a child's fairy story, Christians have claimed.

BBC to make startling documentary about your unnecessary children

THE BBC natural history unit is to make a ground-breaking series about the consequences of your unsustainable breeding.

Afghans face three month RAF waiting list

AFGHAN civilians are facing a three month wait to be blown to smithereens, it has emerged.

Film stupider than audience

ACTION-fantasy tripe bucket Sucker Punch has made idiots feel cleverer than something.

Most don't want to work past the age of zero

MOST people in Britain would prefer not to work a day in their lives, according to new research.

M&S about to learn 14 different French words for 'shit'

MARKS and Spencer is about to discover all the different words the French have for things that are shit.

Average Mother's Day gift selection time rises to 3.5 seconds

THOUGHTFULNESS is on the increase across the UK with some people taking almost four seconds to choose a Mother's Day present, it has emerged.

Mail readers' heads explode in search for April Fool

THOUSANDS of heads were exploding across Britain today as people tried to work out which Daily Mail story was a hoax.