Console game triggers total collapse of society

POLICE have warned the public to stay indoors until the post-Grand Theft Auto V murder spree has subsided.

Clowns confirm they are evil

CLOWNS have spoken out to confirm their malice and wickedness.

iPhone vs Jason vs Aliens announced

IPHONE 6 will be a feature film where the smartphone battles classic movie monsters Jason Voorhees and the aliens.  

I am utterly pathetic, says nagging voice in iPhone queuer's head

THE inner voice of a man queueing for the new iPhone is telling him that he needs to get his shit together.

Dog friendships last under 30 seconds

DOGS generally fall out within less than half a minute of befriending each other, it has been claimed.

Dawkins memoir leaves out bit about Zeus creating him from clay

RICHARD Dawkins's autobiography controversially omits his creation by lightning on the slopes of Mount Olympus.

Most Britons to end up living in drunk tanks

MILLIONS of Britons will soon exist in a daily cycle of work, pub, drunk tank.

Software updates cursed by evil leprechaun

A WICKED leprechaun has cursed all of mankind's software updates to fail dismally.