THOUSANDS of heads were exploding across Britain today as people tried to work out which Daily Mail story was a hoax.
GROUND-breaking budget airline Ryanair has unveiled the industry's flimsiest every bullshit excuse for a price rise.
TV spiv Derek Acorah has perfomed a mysterious ritual to rid an ordinary family of its self-esteem.
BRITAIN last night offered safe haven to Colonel Gaddafi's charmingly-named terrorist sidekick.
ENRAGED people may be forced to return to their slightly depressing lives unless they can find a new cause, it has emerged.
AS the Fukushima nuclear power station teeters on the brink of a catastrophic meltdown, someone has pointed out that it looks a bit like Fern Britton.
THE closure of record shops is exposing the general public to the borderline humans that worked in them, it has emerged.
BANNING cars from UK town centres would rob urban Britain of its most attractive feature, it has been claimed.