News

Freddie Mercury biopic to portray rocker as heterosexual

A NEW film of Freddie Mercury’s life story will portray the rocker as straight.

Now give us the baby, say Welsh

THE Welsh have demanded the royal baby be given to them so the initiation can begin.

Woman not joking about star signs

OFFICE worker Donna Sheridan was not joking when she discussed the royal baby’s star sign, according to her colleagues.

Birth of royal baby pushes human population beyond sustainability

THE royal birth represents the population 'tipping point' beyond which the planet cannot sustain human life.

Britons urged to enjoy last few hours before explosion of baby bullshit

BRITONS have been advised to enjoy life in the final hours before a million-megaton blast of bullshit is unleashed.