A NEW film of Freddie Mercury’s life story will portray the rocker as straight.
THE Welsh have demanded the royal baby be given to them so the initiation can begin.
OFFICE worker Donna Sheridan was not joking when she discussed the royal baby’s star sign, according to her colleagues.
THE royal birth represents the population 'tipping point' beyond which the planet cannot sustain human life.
BRITONS have been advised to enjoy life in the final hours before a million-megaton blast of bullshit is unleashed.