News

Theatre piracy continues to rise

THEATREGOERS are being subjected to an increased number of bootleg plays and pirated performances, it has emerged.

Prisoners riot over journalist influx

HARDENED criminals in several UK prisons have begun rioting at the prospect of sharing a cell with a Murdoch.

Is your baby foreign?

THERE is a one-in-three chance that your infant is foreign, it has been claimed.

Neptune has sulky birthday

NEPTUNE, eighth planet in the solar system, spent its first birthday orbiting the sun 'just like any other day’.

BBC asked to check meaning of word 'talent'

THE BBC was handed a dictionary last night after using the world 'talent' to describe Richard Hammond.

North-South divide becoming science fiction thing

NORTHERNERS may soon be living in tunnels while those in the south grow to nine feet tall and float around, it was claimed last night.

Murdoch to show MPs footage of themselves sleeping

RUPERT Murdoch will tell the Commons Culture Committee later today that he could kill them all by merely wishing it into being.

Private investigation 'could be permanently tarnished'

PRIVATE investigators fear that the respectability of their profession may never fully recover following the News International scandal, it has emerged.