Woman tells sad story then has photo taken on park bench

A WOMAN has revealed her anguish, heartbreak and anger before posing on a park bench.

Train companies praised for punctuality of fare increases

RAIL fare increases have arrived bang on time yet again.

North goes into mourning

PEOPLE in the North will observe three days of mourning following the death of the founder of Pukka Pies.

OK! magazine reporting on celebrity afterlives

INCREASINGLY deranged gossip magazine OK! is to begin covering the love lives and confessions of celebrities post-mortem.

Watch the meteor shower tonight, say triffids

TONIGHT'S meteor shower is essential viewing, according to carnivorous alien plants.

Television connoisseurs to savour Breaking Bad like a fine wine

THOSE who watch only the finest television are eagerly anticipating new Breaking Bad episodes.

Shitloads of pandas everywhere by 2084

GIANT pandas will become a common pest in the UK as they breed uncontrollably, it has emerged.