News

IDS unveils sinister island theme park

IAIN Duncan Smith has invited the first visitors to the island theme park based on his vision of the perfect society.

New app to help you find daytime drinking buddies

A NEW Tinder-style phone app is helping people find compatible daytime drinking partners.

Tories getting some cracking ideas from Iran

THE UK can learn a lot from the religious dictatorship of Iran, the foreign secretary has claimed.

Boss ends conference call by reminding employees that, ultimately, nothing matters

A CHIEF executive has told his employees not to sweat the small stuff as the universe is indifferent to quarterly sales figures.

China ends fun experiment with capitalism

CHINA is to return to full-scale communism after realising capitalism is not really its 'bag'.

New school stuff pointless for crap children, say parents

BUYING expensive ‘back to school’ items for academically useless, un-sporty children is a futile gesture, according to parents.

Uncovered nipples on rampage of destruction

AN army of uncovered nipples is wreaking havoc across Britain.

Share plunge may have been caused by bad cocaine, admit stockbrokers

STOCKBROKERS have admitted the collapse in share prices was probably caused by some disappointing gak.