News

Facebook to allow beheading videos if accompanied by inspirational quote

FACEBOOK has cleared users to post videos of decapitations alongside witty or inspirational quotes.

Workers advised to get a sickie in about now

WORKERS have been advised to squeeze in some fraudulent sick leave in before the end of October.

New browser knows when you are drunk

A NEW internet browser automatically prevents users doing stupid things due to alcohol.

Middle-aged people obsessed with leather phone cases

BRITAIN'S middle-aged people simply cannot get enough of leather smartphone cases.

Bake Off final to include snake attack

THE Great British Bake Off final will see 300 venomous snakes released into the kitchen during the technical challenge.

Tesco throwing away four cans of lager per year

BRITISH branches of Tesco throw away a fiver’s worth of alcohol every year, they have confirmed.

Everyone to be given a lump of uranium

DAVID Cameron is to reduce energy prices by giving every household a lump of radioactive material.

London property only affordable to extraterrestrials

LONDON homes are being bought up by galactic emperors after becoming unaffordable to humans.