May pledges to bring back the slipper

HOME secretary Theresa May is to call for the restoration of the slipper as a deterrent to Britain's young dodgers, perils and minxes.

Hale and Pace to headline Glastonbury

THE Glastonbury festival has revealed Hale and Pace and the Crazy Frog will be next year's headliners, moments after tickets sold out in record time.

Avoiding tax is a good thing, says Jesus

JESUS has settled the argument on tax avoidance by stating, uncategorically, that it is a good thing.

Britain trapped in downward spiral of bicycle addiction

BRITAIN is in the grip of a deadly addiction to bicycles, according to new research.

Zuckerberg's older brother obsessed with board game idea

42-YEAR-OLD Brian Zuckerberg, who still lives at home, thinks he has a really good idea for a board game.

New CCTV sees the evil in your soul

SURVEILLANCE cameras can now detect whether you are good or evil, it has emerged.