Secret Nazi hideout found in Bromley

THE ruins of a secret Nazi fortress have been discovered in suburban south-east London.

Punk scientists discover fourth chord

LEADING punk scientists have confirmed the existence of a fourth chord.

Clarkson to live in a forest entertaining right-wing animals

JEREMY Clarkson has become a wild man who talks to rabbits about how magpies are scroungers.

You only have to whore yourself creatively, says Cheryl

CHERYL from Girls Aloud has told young female singers they will need to prostitute themselves creatively but not physically.

Prince Harry called up to join The Fall

PRINCE Harry has been called up to play bass in The Fall.

Russia trying to dominate Top Trumps

RUSSIA’S new supersonic bomber is part of its bid to have all the best Top Trumps cards, according to experts.

Richard III a great guy apart from killing those kids

BRITAIN has been celebrating the life of Richard III, who was misunderstood although he did probably murder two kids.

Solar power skeptics enjoy two glorious hours

OPPONENTS of solar power have been having an excellent morning.