THE smouldering shell that was once Hastings Pier is almost certainly symbolic of something or other, it has been confirmed.
CHERYL Cole dismissed claims of racism last night, insisting it has been years since she physically attacked a black person.
LOCAL councils have started ordering insignificant quantities of salt in preparation for a hard winter.
CHILDREN across Britain are being spruced up and placed on the open market today as millions of middle class parents look to cut their losses.
DISFIGURED child murderer Freddy Krueger has asked householders to consider the environment or he may have to tear out their spleens, it emerged last night.
HOPES of intelligent life on planet Gliese 581g were dashed yesterday as scientists revealed it is actually a bit like Sunderland.
WHILE previous generations favoured red cars, alcohol and affairs, modern men are increasingly limiting their mid-life madness to buying bikes they don't really want, it has emerged.