EXPERTS today warned of the consequences of superfast internet crashing headlong into Britain's superslow brains.
ICY pavements are causing a record number of injuries as people fall over in a manner that onlookers find incredibly funny.
BRITISH children returned to their televisions last night after completing the list of things that can be achieved with snow.
AS winter continues to exist across Britain, a large allegorical predator has been spotted in Cumbria.
BRITAIN'S major retailers have joined forces to create a new shopping-centric deity called 'Spendo'.