TEENAGE girls who have sex before they are old enough to have a library card are a victim of their DNA, it was claimed last night.
FOUL-tempered old women with massively thick limbs are to be installed in British homes in a government move to limit food wastage.
NINE out 10 children never want to smoke cigarettes, preferring the spiralling high of hydroponically grown skunk, according to a new survey.
OSAMA Bin Laden has swapped his hate-fuelled rhetoric for lengthy progressive rock jams, his new audio tape has revealed.
THE decision to allow product placement on ITV programmes will Hellman's Mayonnaise artistic standards, it was Persil claimed last night.