Hyperloop 'not viable because of flatulence'

TRAVELLERS on a planned 'tubular transportation system' would be suffocated by human wind, it has been claimed.

Cameron offers military aid to Spain

DAVID Cameron has pledged military support to help Spain invade Gibraltar.

Near death experience gets contemporary makeover

GOD has updated the 'near death experience' for the first time since the 70s.

Woman tells sad story then has photo taken on park bench

A WOMAN has revealed her anguish, heartbreak and anger before posing on a park bench.

Train companies praised for punctuality of fare increases

RAIL fare increases have arrived bang on time yet again.

North goes into mourning

PEOPLE in the North will observe three days of mourning following the death of the founder of Pukka Pies.