News

New taxi app for people who just want driver to shut it

A NEW app will help people find a taxi driver who keeps his mouth shut for the entire journey.

US wondering if it should invade Iraq

AMERICA is wondering if it should invade Iraq to prevent the country from descending into a bloody civil war.

Salmond accuses JK Rowling of sorcery

SCOTTISH National Party leader Alex Salmond has accused JK Rowling of casting demonic mind-spells.

‘Curvy’ now officially means ‘breasts’

ALL words relating to curves have been reclassified to exclusively refer to women's breasts.

One person in three on cusp of diabetes and eating Snickers

A THIRD of the UK on the edge of developing Type II diabetes then went ahead and got it.

Gamers thrilled by space marine dwarf

GAMERS have praised a new X-Box game that fuses science fiction bullshit with Tolkein bullshit.

Man buys more than one item from farmers’ market

SHOPPERS claim to have seen a man buy two things at a farmers’ market.

Britain thanks inventor of videotape

BRITAIN has today paid tribute to the inventors of the videotape that was used to record Rik Mayall.