News

Nation’s euphoria gone by midday

BRITAIN’S feeling of upbeat confidence will have been completely obliterated by lunchtime, it has been claimed.

Time stops in Syria

ALL clocks and timepieces stopped across Syria on July 15 at 18:07 local time, it has emerged.

Johnson and Hunt to form worst ever superhero duo

LONDON'S daredevil mayor and Jeremy Hunt are to team up as the world’s least effective superhero duo, following public demonstrations of their respective superpowers.

Hotmail replacement intimidatingly cool

HOTMAIL has been re-branded as the uber-cool Outlook, leaving many too intimidated to use it.

The Daily Mash's Edinburgh Festival highlights

A BRIEF 'best of' guide to the bewildering orgy of self-indulgence happening in Scotland.

1.26 million demonstrate against Olympics takeover of BBC Three

A MASS demonstration by BBC Three viewers has protested against programmes including Sun, Sea and Suspicious Parents being replaced by Olympics coverage.

The Hobbit to be split into three films, four albums, five tea towels and a key ring

DIRECTOR Peter Jackson has announced plans to tell the story of The Hobbit across a variety of media including chinaware.

Britain pins gold medal hopes on relaunch of empire

SEBASTIAN Coe has urged the government to start annexing small defenceless countries to boost Team GB’s medal hopes.