News
Everyone Pretending To Have Read The Gulag Archipelago
A RECORD number of people were last night claiming to have read The Gulag Archipelago by Alexander Solzhenitsyn.
Worrall Thompson Foiled
CELEBRITY chef Antony Worrall Thompson has been foiled in his bid to kill the entire readership of Healthy & Organic Living magazine.
Parents To Be Sent Drawing Of Fat Child
PARENTS of fat children are to be sent sketches of their overweight kids after the government banned schools from describing them as obese.
Why Am I Not Impressed By These Naked Ladies? Asks Top Tory
'LADS' magazines are filled with images that, for some reason, are not attractive in the slightest, a senior Tory MP said today.
Estate Agents Celebrate Return Of Scrabulous
BRITAIN'S estate agents were last night celebrating the return of popular word game Scrabulous to the Facebook social networking site.
Centrica Loving It
GAS supplier Centrica announced last night that it was loving it.
William To Use SAS For Sexual Role Playing
THE SAS is to spend three weeks with Prince William and Kate Middleton as the young couple embarks on a series of exciting new sex games.
Early Roman Computer Used To Express Worthless Classical Opinions
A 2,000-year-old computer found in a Roman shipwreck was mainly used for asserting worthless classical opinions, scientists have learned.