UK's biggest selling car is a goat

RECORD numbers of UK households are ditching the family car for a medium-sized goat.

Undercover officer lured back with meat

POLICE hope to lure undercover officer Mark Kennedy back into a police station using a steak on the end of some thread.

Cannibals, say tube drivers

LONDON'S tube drivers have launched their latest strike threat, claiming they are being picked off one by one by a family of voracious cannibals living in the underground system.

Mosley in bid to protect lovers of buttock pain

MAX Mosley has launched a bid to protect people who love it when their bare bottoms are alive with delicious agony.

92% think they could do better art than Damien Hirst

MORE than 90% of Britons have an idea for some art, it emerged last night.

Mystery avian deaths suggest God playing 'Angry Birds'

MASS avian deaths indicate God is amusing Himself with a celestial version of compelling iPhone game Angry Birds.

America one step closer to realising life is not a film

THE United States has taken another small step towards realising they are not all the stars of some badly written melodrama.

Eggs regain terror status

EGGS are terrifying for the first time in more than 20 years, it has been confirmed.