A NEW statue of Ronald Reagan will depict the late president forgetting one of the illegal things he did.
THE BBC hopes to boost the ratings of Newsnight by switching its editorial focus towards tanning and genital decoration in Essex.
YOUR computers intends to strangle you while you sleep, experts have warned.
BRITISH businesses have been urged to hire surly, undereducated malcontents because at least they are not foreign.
BRITAIN'S already-overstretched Ikea stores cannot cope with a growing population, it was claimed last night.
THE Duchess of Cambridge will continue her tour of Canada today by devouring a gigantic moose.
AN Australian pensioner today declared the British government to be excellent value for money.
INDUSTRIAL action by teachers will not undermine pupils' lack of respect for them, it has been confirmed.