GOVERNMENT health officials say the receipt for 30 million useless swine flu vaccines is definitely around somewhere.
WORKERS are being asked to attend more pretend training sessions in a bid to increase the amount of bullshit there is.
GORILLAS who display signs of human-like emotions and reasoning are still no closer to building a Delorean that can travel through time, experts have claimed.
MALE sex addicts are being cured of their impulsive desire for women by watching the smash hit musical Mamma Mia!
THE Vatican really did have no knowledge of the Nazi's systematic extermination of Jews during World War II, it was claimed last night.