Universities full of people who want to impress Alan Sugar

UNIVERSITY is poor value for money unless you are the sort of person who thinks Alan Sugar is exciting, it has been claimed.

Coca-Cola selfie stick no more than our civilization deserves

A SELFIE stick emblazoned with the Coke logo more or less sums up where we are as a society, it has been confirmed.

Britain ‘not homely'

BRITAIN just isn't homely and hasn't been since the late sixties, it has emerged.

Skinny jeans make mum feel like a teenager again, except with numb legs

42-YEAR-OLD Donna Sheridan still fits into her old skinny jeans apart from being unable to inhale or to feel anything in her legs.

Humanity to keep tweeting positive slogans until point of extinction

HUMANS will continue posting upbeat sayings on social media until the very last person dies, it has emerged.

Kevin Bacon not sure if everyone laughing with him or at him

ACTOR Kevin Bacon is unsure if he is seen as a cultural icon or a bit of a dick.

Guitar in flat for decorative purposes only

AN acoustic guitar in the corner of a living room has never been played and is irrevocably out of tune, it has been revealed.

Yoga newcomers discover it is possible to be simultaneously bored and in pain

PEOPLE trying yoga for the first time have discovered its unique combination of tedium and extreme physical discomfort.