News

Primark creates clothing range for shoplifters

PRIMARK has launched a range of shoplifting attire with concealed pockets and other thief-friendly features.

Child labourer oblivious to concept of Blue Monday

AN 11-year-old Indian brick-kiln worker has admitted he's unaware that this is the most depressing day of the year.

BBC's Musketeers adaptation slammed for lack of dog characters

NEW BBC series The Musketeers has been condemned for portraying Alexandre Dumas's characters as human rather than canine.

Prince Charles building up immunity to working classes

THE Prince of Wales is being exposed to the working classes twice daily to bolster his immune system before he takes the throne.

Married gays to tour drought-hit countries

BETROTHED homosexuals are to use their magical flood-creating powers to bring new life to desert regions.

Mike Tindall takes vital step towards seizing throne

FORMER England rugby captain Mike Tindall has strengthened his bid to seize the throne from Queen Elizabeth.

Soldier in war on drugs emerges from jungle of bullshit

A SOLDIER who has been fighting the war on drugs for more than 20 years has finally emerged from a big jungle full of bullshit.

Miliband pledges After Eights for every middle class family

ED Miliband has pledged to rebuild middle class confidence with free After Eight mints.