Bishops fighting to the death

BISHOPS wearing futuristic body suits are locked in deadly combat beneath Gloucester cathedral.

Queen's mind still very active for 86

THE QUEEN still does cryptic crosswords and has the active mind of a woman 20 years younger, it has been confirmed.

Free turnips to quell 'plebs' row

DAVID Cameron is offering a 'lovely turnip' to every non-land owning home to counter accusations of Tory elitism.

So what really happened at the climax of Parade's End?

BRITAIN is buzzing with theories about how Sherlock Holmes appeared to be dancing at the climax of Parade's End.

Switzerland doesn't give a shit what you think

COMPLAIN all you want, Switzerland doesn't care, it emerged last night.

BBC unveils Andrew Marr's History of Crisps

"What was it that first inspired an ancient monkey to fondle a potato?"