Facebook launches 'Indifferent to' button

SOCIAL networking site Facebook has launched a new tool for expressing ambivalence.

Pope headhunted by Satan

POPE Benedict XVI is leaving his post at the Vatican to work for the devil.

Page 3 not evil enough, says Murdoch

PAGE 3 is not doing enough to mess with people's heads, according to Rupert Murdoch.

Everything eating everything else

PLANET Earth's eating habits are out of control, it has been confirmed.

Kerry refuses to speak English

JOHN Kerry has stopped speaking English to avoid accusations of intellectualism by US voters.

We'll let you know if anything happens, say phones

PHONES have said they don't need to be tinkered with all the time.