BOAR are good for absolutely nothing, according to councillors in the Forest of Dean.
HUMAN brains are inefficient sacks of jelly regardless of gender, according to new research.
MILLIONS are running until their legs give out just for something to do.
CRUFTS winner Ricky the poodle has said he just likes to do normal disgusting dog stuff.
BRAWLING is the most effective way to shed excess weight, according to doctors.
THE creator of Bitcoin has been revealed as a mere mortal who cannot dispense hearts, brains or courage.
GROWN-UPS should stop expecting to be treated as if they are special once a year, it has been claimed.
GIANT lizards from prehistory were just made up to sell toys and books, scientists have admitted.