MEN cannot resist touching themselves while watching Tea Party candidate Christine O'Donnell's anti-masturbation diatribe, it has emerged.
POPE Benedict was congratulated on the sheer heft and girth of his
testicles last night after the former Hitler Youth member said
atheists were Nazis and accused Richard Dawkins of plotting a new
THE film of the console game Resident Sewage 43: Crapocalypse is to be adapted back into a console game and then back into a film and so on until the ending of the world, it has been confirmed.
THE Queen will today have soup and sandwiches at her Edinburgh home with an insane German criminal she met off a plane.
CHEAP clothes giant Primark is to stop selling clothes and instead simply charge the public to come and mess up its shops.
EDUCATION experts will be employed in schools to establish who the stupidest bastards in the building are.
THE future of British ice cream adverts was thrown into doubt last
night as the industry watchdog ruled they can no longer offend Roman
BUYERS of the highly-anticipated Halo Reach will be served by staff trained to ask them what exactly they are doing with their lives.