News

Muse album cover sparks collapse of capitalism

CAPITALISM collapsed this morning, following the unveiling of Muse's incendiary new album cover.

New volcanic island emerges in shape of Putin’s face

A NEW volcanic island has emerged from the Pacific Ocean that looks like Russian president Vladimir Putin.

Everyone at Southeastern Railways claiming today is their first day

EVERY member of staff at Southeastern Railways only started today and so is, sadly, unable to help you.

Toyota Yaris is ideal Mother’s Day gift, suggest advertisers

YOUR mother deserves a £14,095 five-door Yaris Icon, Toyota has suggested.

Frozen 2 only way to stop Frozen

DISNEY has unveiled plans to stop children watching Frozen 24 hours a day by making Frozen 2.

Britain still thinks petitions aren't completely ignored

PEOPLE across the UK are continuing to sign petitions as if they make any difference to anyone.

No, Grim Reaper told

DEATH has been told it is not allowed to take Sir Terry Pratchett until an investigation is held.

BBC has to explain what ‘fracas’ means

BRITAIN is now the sort of place where it is necessary to explain to adults what ‘fracas’ means, it has been confirmed.