News

Parents celebrate end of nightmare

PARENTS across the UK are drunkenly celebrating the end of six weeks of nightmarish full-time childcare.

Pupils ‘must learn workplace bullshit’

GCSE pupils should learn the superfluous bullshit needed for the modern workplace, according to employers.

Frost teases apology from God

GOD has apologised to mankind in a dramatic interview with the late Sir David Frost.

Britain best in Europe at taking drugs

BRITAIN is the best country in Europe at getting toasted, according to new research.

3D of no interest since Jaws 3-D

3D IMAGERY of any kind has not been exciting since the 1983 film Jaws 3-D, it has been confirmed.

Cameron fails in bid to add an extra 500 explosions to Syria

SYRIA'S civil war will witness slightly fewer explosions after MPs voted to keep British bombs for something else.

Freshers working hard on ridiculous personas

TEENAGERS about to start university are developing absurd new personalities in an attempt to seem interesting.