We’re good thanks, England tells EDL

ENGLAND has told the English Defence League that they can stop trying to defend it now.

Kick in the bollocks ‘not always a kick in the bollocks’

KICKING someone in the bollocks is not always the same as kicking them in the bollocks, experts have claimed.

Twitter not allowed to be completely full of shit

SOME of the things that appear on Twitter have to be vaguely accurate, the High Court has ruled.

Everything co-workers do is annoying

ABSOLUTELY everything your colleagues do is annoying, it has emerged.

Men ordered to be ashamed of their bodies

BRITISH men must attend a series of self-hate seminars to increase their body neuroses.

Rolling into a ball not as good as running like f*ck, hedgehogs told

A SHARP decline in hedgehog numbers has been blamed on the ineffectiveness of curling into a ball when threatened.

Police set up fantasy avatar squad

POLICE have set up an avatar unit to tackle crime in online role-playing games.

Michael Bublé unable to do up a tie

CANADIAN crooner Michael Bublé is incapable of doing up a tie.