CLAIMS surrounding James Murdoch's missing emails have prompted IT staff to deny they would ever assist a colleague with anything, ever.
THE first public listing of Facebook has failed after users could not find the bit of the website that allows them to buy shares.
A PLOT to blow up the London Stock Exchange suggests that Islamic terrorists now want to do us a favour, it has emerged.
SAUDI women have been banned from using supermarket self check-outs amid fears the female voiced systems could lead to homosexuality and the extinction of virgins.
SNOWY weather will result in a million of pictures of nothing much, experts have warned.
THE reasons for Fred Goodwin getting and losing his knighthood could have been separated at birth, it has been confirmed.
A SENIOR Labour MP has blamed last year's riots on parents failing to introduce their children to violence as quickly as possible.
THE decline in marine life may in some way be connected to all the shit, piss and bleach pumped in there every single day by everyone in the world, it has been claimed.