COLDPLAY frontman Chris Martin has pleaded with fans to stop buying their music so they can stop making it.
THE new Samsung smartphone kicks off if you stare at it.
SCIENTISTS have helpfully revealed the number of risk-free cigarettes you can smoke every week.
A TEACHER has proved what an imbecile he is by attempting to demonstrate how quickly messages spread on social media.
ANDREW Lloyd Webber has announced a musical about the affair between John Major and Edwina Currie.
KIDS are dreadful regardless of whether they've had sugar, it has emerged.
BRITAIN'S homeless people are to be eaten by imported carnivores, it has emerged.
HARRIET Harman and the Daily Mail are two sides of the same unbearable coin, experts have confirmed.