News

James Murdoch denies reading resignation email

FORGETFUL former BSkyB chairman James Murdoch has claimed he had no idea he had resigned.

Totally inept losers confident they can lock down the internet

A GOVERNMENT that can barely send an email has unveiled somewhat ambitious plans to rule the web with an iron fist.

Middle-managers welcome new blame culture detector

OFFICES are to be revolutionised by a device that detects challenge­-averse working practices including blame culture and failure to think out of the box.

Hairy slob in cheap trousers represents 'average man'

A WHOLLY unremarkable, paunchy slob from Birmingham perfectly represents the man of today, it has been claimed.

Cameron to invade Isle of Wight

DAVID Cameron has drawn up secret plans to boost his popularity with an island-based war.

April Fool's Day used as cover for cull of stocky men

THE government has executed thousands of thickset men following an announcement that was construed as an April Fool's Day stunt.

Mad Men knowledge amnesty declared

THE 30 journalists that are Mad Men's entire UK viewership have given the rest of the population a five-day window in which to catch up.

Madonna 'putting young fans at risk of The Shamen'

PARENTS' groups have accused Madonna of promoting Mr C to impressionable children.