Mosley in bid to protect lovers of buttock pain

MAX Mosley has launched a bid to protect people who love it when their bare bottoms are alive with delicious agony.

92% think they could do better art than Damien Hirst

MORE than 90% of Britons have an idea for some art, it emerged last night.

Mystery avian deaths suggest God playing 'Angry Birds'

MASS avian deaths indicate God is amusing Himself with a celestial version of compelling iPhone game Angry Birds.

America one step closer to realising life is not a film

THE United States has taken another small step towards realising they are not all the stars of some badly written melodrama.

Eggs regain terror status

EGGS are terrifying for the first time in more than 20 years, it has been confirmed.

Cheryl enjoys steamy holiday with Gerry Anderson puppet

CHERYL Cole and Captain Steve Zodiac of Fireball XL-5 have been all over each in South Africa.

'Gayboy' removed from Peter Pan

A ROW has erupted after the word 'gayboy' was removed from a new edition of the JM Barrie classic Peter Pan.

Afghan war caused by MoD budget shenanigans, reveals email

THE war in Afghanistan was started so the Ministry of Defence could avoid a £13bn underspend, according to a leaked email.