CAKE is not as good as everyone says it is.
THE consumption of rosé has been banned for the next seven months, pending a review at Easter.
SAMSUNG'S new Galaxy Gear watch is aimed at people who want to look like they are playing a kids' spy game, it has emerged.
CHILDREN without a primary school place are being sent to live on an island without adult supervision.
THE reason dropped toast always lands on the buttered side is that everything is shit, according to scientists.
ALL UK policy decisions are to be based on anecdotal evidence, the government has announced.
THE city of London has begun using lethal death-rays to wipe out its human population.
GROUNDBREAKING operating system Windows 95 has bought the market-leading Nokia 3210 to create a technological juggernaut.