News

Osborne's cat is a cat whore

THE Chancellor of the Exchequer's cat has been charged with soliciting after being found in a red light district.

Jordan very sad

JORDAN is sad now because she got married to a man but he is a bad man.

Work is fun, confirm bosses

BRITAIN’S bosses have confirmed that work is fun and not boring as claimed by Benefits Street star White Dee.

Wisdom ends association with beards

THE virtue of wisdom has ended its affiliation with beards.

Couples that watch TV in bed have better vicarious sex lives

COUPLES with televisions in the bedroom enjoy better and more frequent sex by proxy, it has emerged.

Nutella makers launch injectable chocolate

THE creators of Nutella have unveiled a new chocolate product that is taken intravenously.

Kim and Kanye to hold Caligula-themed wedding

THE wedding of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, to be held in Italy tomorrow, will be themed after the cruelties of Rome’s most depraved Emperor.

Brainstorming ideas recorded and used against you

FRIENDLY brainstorming sessions are used to work out who should be sacked.