POPE Francis is to relaunch Christianity using state-of-the-art video software and an electronic wind instrument.
LITTLE Chef has removed Heston Blumenthal dishes from its menu after realising that people did not want to eat minced clocks.
TV adverts featuring sunny barbecues should really include jet packs, it has been claimed.
EVERYONE who attended the society wedding of the year is completely fantastic in every way.
ECUADOR last night took a major step forward in its plan to breed pasty-faced nerds in captivity.
A SPATE of restaurant fires in Heaven has been linked to Tony Soprano.