UK attempts to rescue British citizens trapped in Libya have convinced most of them to dig a big hole in the sand and live in it.
AUCTIONEERS have discovered an unpublished Enid Blyton manuscript about a group of children who spend the summer deporting gypsies.
STREET fundraisers are to be psychologically re-conditioned to reduce their self-confidence to human levels.
LIBYA was split down the middle last night over how Colonel Gaddafi should eventually be killed.
CONSTABLES called to a nocturnal disturbance in Windermere found a group of men cheering two battling plesiosaurs, it has emerged.
YOU are probably in Venezuela, foreign secretary William Hague has confirmed.
HUMANS are to continue to base their societies on a highly toxic substance that obviously costs far too much money.
THOUSANDS of public health experts could disappear over the next two weeks if they don't shut it, according to a new study.