PIERS Morgan will continue his glittering career by sitting in his shed, interviewing volleyballs with faces painted on them
AVERAGE human intelligence will soon be surpassed by that of a toasted sandwich maker, experts have claimed.
PRE-TEENS have confirmed they detest their father's music, especially The Pixies.
A BUNCH of ‘flooding experts’ have come up with a lot of fancy solutions three weeks too late.
A CARLISLE woman has reiterated how lovely her boyfriend's beef stew was for the third day running.
A DISTRESSED child in a park is probably just pretending for some YouTube clip about whether people are compassionate.
WALES has begged Scotland not to leave it trapped in the UK with those two other mad bastards.
METEOROLOGISTS have confirmed that Ragnarok, the Viking apocalypse, will happen on Sunday.