THE royal birth represents the population 'tipping point' beyond which the planet cannot sustain human life.
BRITONS have been advised to enjoy life in the final hours before a million-megaton blast of bullshit is unleashed.
DAILY Mail editor Paul Dacre will 'opt-in' to web porn so that he can remain up to speed with Britain's moral decay.
AMERICA has increased the intensity of its war against the planet by bombing the Great Barrier Reef.
MOST Britons consider drinking a lot of alcohol to be their greatest achievement.
HARDCORE rave music will outlast everything else in the universe, scientists have proved.