News
Biden Urged To Name Vice President
VICE presidential candidate Joe Biden was last night urged to reveal who his vice president will be when Barak Obama is assassinated by a racist psychopath.
Paxman To Black-Up In Bid For Pay Rise
JEREMY Paxman is to present Newsnight dressed as a black man as he seeks an above inflation pay rise from the BBC.
Celebrate The Weekend With Fresh Basil And Pine Nuts, Says Oliver
MILLIONAIRE chef Jamie Oliver has attacked Britain's drinking culture and urged people to forget their troubles by sniffing some really fresh basil.
I'll Feed Anything That Moves, Says Garraway
TV presenter Kate Garraway last night pledged to pump her milk into anything that can suck it.
Children Outnumbered By Daily Mail Reading Fucknuts
CHILDREN in the UK are now outnumbered by ageing psychopaths who devour every word of the Daily Mail, new figures reveal.
Evil Mastermind Offers Millions For Home Office Memory Stick
AN evil mastermind has offered £2 million for the missing memory stick containing the details of thousands of Britain's finest criminals.
Katona Forced To Go To Iceland
KERRY Katona will be doing all her shopping at Iceland from now on, the bankrupt star revealed last night.
Satan Forced To Sell Heathrow
SATAN, the Prince of Darkness, is to launch an appeal after he was ordered to sell Heathrow.