News

Nightclubs closing as punters recreate hellish environment at home

FORMER clubbers are choosing to stay in and recreate the deeply unpleasant nightclub experience in their homes.

Boss worried compliment might be incitement to ask for pay rise

A BUSINESS owner is concerned that a compliment paid to workers will make them demand more cash.

Coke unveils Coke Warm&Flat

COCA-COLA has brought out a non-carbonated version of its signature beverage intended to be drunk warm in the sun.

Donald Trump promises to be America’s first fictional president

DONALD Trump, first introduced in stock market heist thriller Trump! in 1981, has vowed to become the US’s first fictional president.

Inkjet printer dies 'warrior's death'

A PRINTER has successfully provoked its owner into killing it in combat because it wanted to die a warrior's death.

Jargon makes you sound clever, say idiots

BRITAIN’S idiots have defended their right to use jargon instead of intelligence.

Songs of Praise ‘can only be filmed in Surrey’

SONGS of Praise must always be broadcast from lovely parish churches in rural Surrey, it has been claimed.

Samantha Cameron named best-dressed woman by women who dress like that

SAMANTHA Cameron has been placed at the top of Vanity Fair's Best-Dressed list by women uncomfortable in everything.