THOMAS Cook has become the latest travel company to base a television advert on a song by the Pixies.
STEPHEN Hester last night turned down a share bonus package after discovering the shares were in the Royal Bank of Scotland.
DAVID Cameron is acting as if he is the dictator of the People's Republic of Gaydonia, the Archbishop of York has claimed.
A SECRET government list of those not quite important enough to be offered an honour they would then not accept has been published.
STAY off the moors, yokels have warned.
CHIEF Daily Mail space creature Paul Dacre has mind-merged with his martian leader to report that Earth is almost ready for invasion.
SALLY Morgan is to sue the Daily Mail with a legal team including Abraham Lincoln, Clarence Darrow and someone who claims to be John Mortimer.
BBC4 was last night named Best Channel for Stuck-Up Ponces at the National Television Awards.