News

Babies cry out of spite

INFANTS cry at night because they are little bastards, according to new research.

Homeopathy replaced by fagsopathy

FORMER homeopathic doctors are offering a new treatment where patients smoke a lot of cigarettes.

New Carry On film set in Guardian office

THE latest instalment of the Carry On film franchise is about saucy hi-jinks at The Guardian newspaper.

Internet users told to change all passwords to swearing

WEB users should change their passwords to really dirty swearing, it has been claimed.

Events in Game of Thrones to be reported as actual news

NEWS organisations are to report events in Game of Thrones as reality.

Sweden to become more stereotypical

SWEDISH ministers have announced a six-hour working day as part of plans to make their country more stereotypical.

Pet snakes 'a cry for help'

ANYONE who owns a pet snake is secretly begging for someone to stop them, psychologists have agreed.

Nineties generation makes formal apology for Britpop

REPRESENTATIVES of the 1990s are to make a public gesture of atonement for the appalling legacy of Britpop.