THE majority of so-called people are in fact sasquatches.
EVERYONE else is having a better time than you, it has emerged.
ONE of Saturn's moons is a beach ball misplaced by a race of super-massive aliens.
THE Daily Mail hates Britain and everyone in it, experts have confirmed.
LIGHT sabres will become a reality shortly after Star Wars has been completely ruined, it has emerged.
GUARDIAN columnist and blogger Nikki Hollis is running out of things on which to have a feminist perspective.
THE BBC has won public support for its move to stop poor quality gangster films by casting Danny Dyer in EastEnders.
HUMANOID turtles with weapons skills have become a native species in Britain.