THE army has pledged to keep building massive killer robots with a grudge against humanity, insisting that nothing can possibly go wrong.
TOP Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson is to host a new BBC fine arts show called That's Bollocks.
THREE people in China have died from the plague, if anyone's interested, the World Health Organisation said last night.
NO-ONE in the UK has passed the government's tough new citizenship test, with 85% of the country claiming that Winston Churchill is an artificial dog.
GRADUATES and school leavers are to be paid to monitor television between the hours of Trisha and Home & Away in a government bid to cut unemployment.