Britain's workforce 'needs drugs to cope with the shame'

DOING your job is probably less ethical than taking drugs, it has been claimed.

Citizenship test to focus on UK's utterly demented values

A NEW version of the UK citizenship test will be based on the country's warped, mentally-damaged value system, it has emerged.

I'm great apart from all the humans, says England

ENGLAND believes itself to be a nice place apart from the presence of humans, it has emerged.

Warhol prediction downgraded by 14 minutes 54 seconds

TWITTER'S 'Vine' app means everyone will now be famous for just six seconds.

America to send monkey-riding-a-dog into space

THE US has responded to Iran's space ambitions with plans to send a monkey strapped to a dog into space.