News

Television cleverer than books

WATCHING television drama is more mind-expanding than reading contemporary fiction, it has been claimed.

Windows XP officially an endangered species

THE World Wildlife Fund has moved Windows XP to its endangered list, meaning that its life and habitats are protected by law.

Frozen yoghurt shops clearly a front for something dodgy

SHOPS specialising in frozen yoghurt must be a cover for some form of criminal activity, it has been claimed.

Russia to open pop-up government in Eastern Ukraine

RUSSIA is to open a limited-term 'pop-up' government in the Ukraine to test consumer demand.

Prince George told to get used to this shit

PRINCE George has has his first taste of the lifetime of tribal dances and military parades stretching out before him.

Most people now not really middle class

MOST people in the UK are members of the ‘not really middle class’ class, research has revealed.

Glasgow to be destroyed at games closing ceremony

THE closing ceremony of the Commonwealth Games will climax with the controlled demolition of Glasgow.

Waitrose coffee 'nauseatingly middle class'

WAITROSE cafe customers have fallen ill after drinking coffee contaminated with bourgeois values.