News

Samantha Cameron named best-dressed woman by women who dress like that

SAMANTHA Cameron has been placed at the top of Vanity Fair's Best-Dressed list by women uncomfortable in everything.

People who live in Harrogate very easily pleased, say experts

EXPERTS have dismissed a survey naming Harrogate as the happiest town in Britain.

Dozens of elderly women arrested in Bake-Off betting scandal

DOZENS of elderly woman have been arrested after a flurry of bets on the same contestant in The Great British Bake-Off.

Windows 10 fails to get rid of depressing, slack-jawed face

USERS of the new Windows have complained about the ghostly, dead-eyed face that appears whenever the screen goes black. 

Moon blames its ‘dark side’ after going on bender

THE moon has blamed its well-documented ‘dark side’ after getting drunk for three days with its mates.

Being overweight ‘can cause sanctimonious, idiotic advice’

BEING overweight can lead to bad advice from idiots who are suddenly experts on diet and exercise.

Children's top job is striking tube driver

CHILDREN want to grow up to be tube train drivers refusing to work pending negotiations, it has emerged.

Police relying on karma to punish criminals

CRIMINALS do not need to be caught because their bad karma will catch up with them, according to the police.