Nostradamus Predicted 2010 'Would Be Bad Year For Buy-To-Let'

THE prophecies of Nostradamus include warnings about fluctuations in the UK property market, it was claimed yesterday.

Chinese Writer Claims Avatar Has A Plot

CHINESE novelist Zhou Shaomou has sensationally claimed that James Cameron's Avatar has a plot.

Scottish And Southern Cuts Prices Just In Time For Summer

SCOTTISH and Southern Energy has made the bold move of cutting its prices to coincide with it getting lighter and warmer of an evening.

Huge Rise In People Being Blackmailed By Their Own Wheelie Bins

THE number of people paying hush money to their wheelie bins has increased by 60 percent in the last 12 months, it emerged last night.

Brown Now Dicking About With Fish And Chips

GORDON Brown last night added the size of chip shop chips to his list of things to dick about with.

Cocaine 'Better Value Than Ever'

AS prices drop to just £2 per line, cocaine has topped a consumer poll as Britain's best-value street drug.

Vicars Back Gay Marriage If They Can Read Out The Bit About Killing Them

CHURCH of England vicars will bless gay couples as long as they are allowed to quote Bible passages about them being abominations who must be put to death.

Zuma To Buy Cheryl Cole

SOUTH African president Jacob Zuma arrived in London last night on the first leg of his bid to buy Cheryl Cole.