Royal baby growing uncontrollably

THE royal baby is growing at an alarming rate.

Good riddance, says Voyager 1

VOYAGER 1 has expressed relief at being rid of the human race, as it leaves our solar system.

Russia just so gay

RUSSIA could not be gayer if it tried, it has been claimed.

Pretending to be hard now a job

THE government is to reduce youth unemployment by making pretending to be hard an actual job.

Jesus Christ get it off my face, says scientist

THE scientist who discovered a new ferret-like mammal is pleading with colleagues to somehow get it off his face.