PHYSICIST Peter Higgs is treating the 'God particle' like a tiny pet, it has been claimed.
BRITAIN doesn't need any more drug consumption rooms, it has been claimed.
THE US Senate has decide that its existing gun laws are functioning well except for the odd murder spree.
BRITONS are sweating like pigs as the weather refuses to make up its mind.
ONE in a hundred fags has a special ingredient that makes it incredible.
ANY requests for a pay rise this year will be met with a stern look and possibly being hit with a ladle.
RELAXED planning laws mean that the entire surface area of the UK will become decking, it has been claimed.