Gravity wins Best Film Set 230 Miles Above Britain

GRAVITY has been named best film set in a space station which passed over the British Isles.

Shitness of bus travel unaffected by floods

THE general woefulness of bus travel has remained unchanged by the recent extreme weather.

Beyoncé 'surfing all wrong'

SURFING experts have condemned Beyoncé's technique of grinding her crotch against her surfboard.

Award makes actors feel better about not having proper jobs

PEOPLE who act have been given awards to make them feel better about being unable to get proper jobs.

Sports Illustrated models 'honoured' to be masturbatory fodder

THE cover girls of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition feel 'humbled' at becoming self-pleasuring material.

Gayness study confirms they are not doing it just to annoy Christians

GAYNESS is caused by genetics, as well as the traditional desire to make Christians furious.

Magazine editor 'the worst kind of whore'

A MEN’S magazine editor is disgusted with himself for doing anything his advertisers ask him to.

Massage is the most stressful experience

MASSAGES are the opposite of soothing, it has emerged.