Hoax flash mob used to cull dicks

THE promise of a 'flash mob' has lured thousands of annoying people to their timely deaths, it emerged last night.

Now apologise for America, Britain told

IF Britain is in the mood for apologising for things it should really add America to its list, it was claimed last night.

Mario and Luigi not actually brothers but do live together

MOUSTACHIOED adventurers Mario and Luigi are not related but they do have a special bond, it has emerged.

'Atheist bible' an impossible fairy story, say Christians

THE idea that people could do good things without religion is a child's fairy story, Christians have claimed.

BBC to make startling documentary about your unnecessary children

THE BBC natural history unit is to make a ground-breaking series about the consequences of your unsustainable breeding.

Afghans face three month RAF waiting list

AFGHAN civilians are facing a three month wait to be blown to smithereens, it has emerged.

Film stupider than audience

ACTION-fantasy tripe bucket Sucker Punch has made idiots feel cleverer than something.

Most don't want to work past the age of zero

MOST people in Britain would prefer not to work a day in their lives, according to new research.