British Library To Archive

BRITAIN'S internet heritage could be lost forever unless experts are able to archive websites such as hotsurreybitches and

'Racist' T-Shirt Could Cause Morons To Say Stuff

A SCOTTISH t-shirt expressing dislike of the England football team could cause morons to say things, experts have warned.

Cheryl Plans Ghastly, Nouveau Riche Divorce

CHERYL Cole last night unveiled plans for a lavish and vulgar divorce involving lots of matching suits and a really big smoked salmon.

Royals 'Ready To Return To Home Planet'

THE Royal Family are preparing to return to their home planet near Sirius, according to the Queen's astronomer.

Parliament Emitting Angry Purple Aura, Say Homeopaths

MEMBERS of Parliament who criticised homeopathy have badly knotted chakras and are emitting an unhealthy purple aura, it was claimed last night.

'Grease' disgusting

THE musical Grease is absolutely disgusting, a new generation of parents has suddenly remembered.

Rowling Accused Of Cheerfulness

AUTHOR JK Rowling last night reacted angrily to claims that she has been seen smiling.

Twitter Filled With People Being Wrong About Jan Moir Again

JUST four months after thousands of people were wrong about Jan Moir, the social network Twitter was today filled with them being wrong again.