Britain hails return of normal telly

AFTER weeks of Olympics, Britons are celebrating the end of disruption to the television schedules.

Harry targeted by Taleban hen parties

PRINCE Harry will be a target for crazy Taleban good-time girls, experts have warned.

Environment accused of benefit fraud

THE environment has been accused of wasting taxpayer’s money on virtually useless plants and animals.

America 'fifteenth, maybe twentieth best country in the world', says Obama

PRESIDENT Barack Obama has described America as being easily one of the world's top twenty countries.

Lunchtime pints key to economic recovery

DRINKING at least three pints of beer at lunchtime could put Britain's economy back on track, it has been claimed.

Britain to honour its heroin addicts

THE contribution of drug addicts to British society is to be honoured at the first National Junkie Day.

BBC announces Howard’s Way reboot

THE BBC is to compete with the revamped Dallas by reviving moderately popular 80s yacht construction soap opera Howard’s Way.

McDonalds relaunched as moody teen hangout

FAST food giant McDonalds is re-branding its restaurants as foodless leisure spaces for bored, hostile teenagers.