Higgs carrying particle around in matchbox

PHYSICIST Peter Higgs is treating the 'God particle' like a tiny pet, it has been claimed.

UK 'already has drug consumption cubicles'

BRITAIN doesn't need any more drug consumption rooms, it has been claimed.

US gun laws working fine apart from the occasional rampage, say senators

THE US Senate has decide that its existing gun laws are functioning well except for the odd murder spree.

Sweatiness out of control

BRITONS are sweating like pigs as the weather refuses to make up its mind.

Every 100th cigarette amazing

ONE in a hundred fags has a special ingredient that makes it incredible.

Boss acting like you're Oliver Twist

ANY requests for a pay rise this year will be met with a stern look and possibly being hit with a ladle.

England to be entirely covered in decking by 2015

RELAXED planning laws mean that the entire surface area of the UK will become decking, it has been claimed.