News
Millions Planning £3000 'I'm A Terrorist' Scam
MILLIONS of people across the UK are hoping to earn up to £3000 a day by pretending to be a terrorist.
Taliban In Retreat From Nancy Boy Actors
TALIBAN forces in southern Afghanistan were in retreat last night after a fresh offensive by Britain's nancy boy actors.
Alcohol Cravings Reduced By Alcohol, Says Alcoholic
CRAVINGS for alcohol are best reduced by alcohol, alcoholics said last night.
Drivers Urged To Panic
DRIVERS were last night urged to go apeshit crazy, as everything went tits up.
Britain Picks Out New Handcart
BRITAIN will today pick out a nice, new handcart as it completes its preparations for the journey to Hell.
Apple To Fool Public For 207th Time
APPLE boss Steve Jobs last night unveiled the new iPhone, insisting there was 'no way' he would launch a better and cheaper version in three months time.
Tesco Nails Chicken To River Cottage Door
SUPERMARKET giant Tesco has stepped up its campaign against TV chef Hugh Fearnley-Whttingstall by nailing a live chicken to the door of River Cottage.
Britain Settles For Bad Teeth
BRITAIN has given up on dental appointments and decided to settle for having quite bad teeth, according to a new report.