News

Booker Prize to gradually remove itself from own arse

THE Man Booker prize has taken the first steps towards clambering out of its own rectum.

Facebook to become fully automated

FACEBOOK is to replace users' boring posts with exciting fictional versions.

Princess Diana 'had terrible hair'

PRINCESS Diana's hair looked really weird, it has been claimed.

Office 'best wishes' card signed by five million people

POLICE are trying to trace the recipient of a card signed by an estimated 5,000,000 workers across the UK.

Apple users queuing at home for iOS7 release

FANS awaiting Apple's new operating system have lined up in their front rooms to be the first to download it.

Putting heating on 'like a bereavement'

TURNING the heating on after the summer is as traumatic as losing a reasonably well-liked relative, it has been claimed.

Clinging to youth does not slow ageing process

DESPERATELY clinging to your lost youth does not slow the ageing process, according to scientists.

Everyone desperate to try parbuckling

MILLIONS of people are keen to try their hand at righting something massive that has fallen over.