AS the doctors' strike begins, thousands of sick people have descended on their GP's natural habitat, the golf course.
THE break-up of Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis has left heterosexual men unsure which one they like most.
DOZENS of celebrities are rich, it has emerged.
BURMESE pro-democracy campaigner Aung San Suu Kyi has met drum and bass DJ Grooverider, whose Radio 1 show helped sustain her while incarcerated.
THE Duke of Cambridge's '30 things to do before you're 30' list gives him less than 24 hours to have a threesome, it has emerged.
MICROSOFT'S new Surface tablet is for those who don't care what others think, the corporation has claimed.
THE next game in the Hitman series will feature realistic female characters that look like girls you might see on the bus.
MALES are deeply confused by a new sort of pornography that is both for women and made of words.