Golf clubs besieged by sick people

AS the doctors' strike begins, thousands of sick people have descended on their GP's natural habitat, the golf course.

Men confused by Depp

THE break-up of Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis has left heterosexual men unsure which one they like most.

Celebrities rich

DOZENS of celebrities are rich, it has emerged.

Aung San Suu Kyi meets Grooverider

BURMESE pro-democracy campaigner Aung San Suu Kyi has met drum and bass DJ Grooverider, whose Radio 1 show helped sustain her while incarcerated.

Prince William desperate for threesome

THE Duke of Cambridge's '30 things to do before you're 30' list gives him less than 24 hours to have a threesome, it has emerged.

Microsoft unveils new tablet for uncool people

MICROSOFT'S new Surface tablet is for those who don't care what others think, the corporation has claimed.

New Hitman game to feature very realistic women

THE next game in the Hitman series will feature realistic female characters that look like girls you might see on the bus.

Men puzzled by porn that you read

MALES are deeply confused by a new sort of pornography that is both for women and made of words.