News

UK's retirement plan is to wing it

BRITONS are sort of assuming they'll be able to busk it through years of declining health, it has emerged.

Anti-religious protestors occupy London Stock Exchange

A GROUP of anti-Church of England protestors has taken up residence in the London Stock Exchange, it has emerged.

iPhone 4s 'harbours racist views'

APPLE'S latest smartphone has extreme right-wing views caused by prejudiced technology, it has been claimed.

Woman to explain why she had sex with Clarkson

BRITAIN is today awaiting the explanation of a Jeremy Clarkson sex partner.

Legal highs to join list of long-forgotten banned substances

THE government is to continue its successful policy of banning drugs with 'legal highs' joining other obsolete substances like heroin and ecstasy.

Euro deal after Merkel feels a bit 'Hitlery'

EUROZONE leaders have agreed a landmark deal to save the single currency after the German chancellor said she was feeling a bit 'Fourth Reichy'.

Shakespeare was an alien, says Emmerich

ROLAND Emmerich says his new film will prove that William Shakespeare was a 300-foot alien.

Transplants from poor people to dogs 'a reality'

HUMAN organs can now be used to keep beloved pets alive, vets have claimed.