Incredible Melanie's article challenges stereotypes of horrible people

INSPIRING Melanie Phillips has overcome potentially debilitating horribleness to pen an article about the Paralympics.

Parade to celebrate victorious Boris

BORIS Johnson is to be carried through London on a golden sedan chair carried by Bradley Wiggins, Mo Farah, Jessica Ennis and Ellie Simmonds.

iPhone 5 to constantly change shape

APPLE'S latest iPhone will feature shape-shifting technology and can become anything from a mountain to a large pig.

Baldness anxiety cured by not giving a shit

MALE hair loss-related anxiety can be cured by growing a pair of balls and getting on with it, it has emerged.

Heathrow Airport to cover entire South East

IN a move to kick start the economy, Heathrow Airport will be extended to cover everything between Ipswich and Portsmouth.

Who am I? ask Timeline victims

FACEBOOK'S Timeline upgrade has left users unable to remember who their friends are, who their family is or even their own birthday.

Disability benefits to be replaced by medals

THE disability benefits system will be replaced by medals for things like shutting up and getting on with it, it has emerged.

Maybe you just need to learn more, GCSE students told

PUPILS protesting GCSE results have been asked to consider whether they might get better exam results if they learn more things.