THE government has laid out its vision of a modern high street based around Britain's love of fighting.
PLANS for the Queen's Diamond Jubilee will include a speech of unimaginable filth.
THE scientist who discovered how large birds achieve erection has urged his colleagues not to name it after him.
DAVID Attenborough has been faked using lookalikes and special effects for nearly 40 years, the BBC has revealed.
THE particle named after God last night stressed it was not religious in any way.
SCIENTISTS are 100% more likely to state the obvious while drunk, it has emerged.
X FACTOR winners Little Mix's first album is to be a concept-driven free-jazz epic inspired by the ancient gods of Egypt, it has been revealed.
THE failure of the Royal Bank of Scotland was caused by bad decisions rather than the ghost of a Border collie, it has emerged.