MICROSOFT was today applying some rouge and lipstick to the dead face of Nokia.
CHILD'S game manufacturer Activision is ditching the Guitar Hero franchise for the simulated thrill of stealing dreadful music.
THE Campaign for Common Sense Clamping scored a fresh victory last night as a clamper was killed and his mutilated body put on display as a warning to others.
HOSNI Mubarak has been urged to resign by the dog-faced space aliens who founded Egypt more than 8,000 years ago.
THE main stage headliner at this year's Glastonbury festival will be McDonalds' new tropical-themed burger, organisers have confirmed.
SMALL businesses across Britain could increase their profits by selling loads of stuff to rich bankers, it has emerged.
MERYL Streep has revealed how her portrayal of Margaret Thatcher has turned her into a swivel-eyed maniac.
CRIME-FIGHTING grandmother Margaret Gerving has declared war on wrongdoers, especially black people and Germans.