SCOTTISH children may die if schools can only serve them deep fried food once a week, it has been claimed.
KASABIAN'S number one album 48:13 is named after their fan base's upper and lower intelligence test scores.
RESEARCHERS have admitted defeat in the search for a picture of Tony Blair looking trustworthy.
PAYING to get on a budget flight slightly before others is the weakest possible attempt to show off, it has been confirmed.
MIDDLE class families have gathered around a tabloid newspaper that was put through their letter box without permission.
BRITAIN is studiously ignoring the term ‘spornosexual’ in the hope that it won’t become a real thing.
THE Bank of England has been given special powers to put fancy hats on the top of huge home loans that will destroy the economy.
ANGELINA Jolie and Brad Pitt were last night forced to tell William Hague they planned to spend the evening alone.