AN ageing population means that old people may lose the right to pick holes in any cup of tea they haven't made themselves, according to new research.
THE North's contribution to British culture is to be recognised with the installation of a 60ft bronze meat pie in Hyde Park.
THE senior male midwife who criticised child-birth painkillers will today have a hat-stand forced into his anus, women have promised.
THE number of cases of swine flu could catch up with the number of cases of hiccups and diarrhoea, given 10-12 years, doctors have claimed.
THE department of health last night unveiled a non-emergency alternative to 999 for the thousands of people who call in everyday to say their leg feels funny.