BBC newsreader Peter Sissons was told not to mention that the Queen Mother was usually hammered.
THE BBC has ordered a multi-million pound investigation into the tastes of the poor.
GOOMBA sleazeball Tony 'the Prick' Blair was being questioned today about his role in the Iraq war scamola.
ARMED Scouts with kevlar woggles are the future of riot control, the government has confirmed.
WITH almost eight million people under 25 unemployed popular music could soon be slightly less vacuous, it emerged last night.
SMALL regional TV stations are to provide an outlet for the stupid opinions of petty, annoying bigots living in remote places.
BARONESS Warsi will today be asked to explain why some Muslim countries lock you up for having naked fun with someone you have just met.
THE government is to launch an inquiry into whether words such as 'bumtard' and 'spangler' are anti-gay.