Don't say she was constantly drunk, BBC told Sissons

BBC newsreader Peter Sissons was told not to mention that the Queen Mother was usually hammered.

BBC launches inquiry into what working class people like

THE BBC has ordered a multi-million pound investigation into the tastes of the poor.

What gives? asks Tony the Prick

GOOMBA sleazeball Tony 'the Prick' Blair was being questioned today about his role in the Iraq war scamola.

Government to deploy riot scouts

ARMED Scouts with kevlar woggles are the future of riot control, the government has confirmed.

Popular music to improve

WITH almost eight million people under 25 unemployed popular music could soon be slightly less vacuous, it emerged last night.

Local TV to give prejudiced, small-minded communities a voice

SMALL regional TV stations are to provide an outlet for the stupid opinions of petty, annoying bigots living in remote places.

Warsi asked to explain why Dubai locks you up for having a shag

BARONESS Warsi will today be asked to explain why some Muslim countries lock you up for having naked fun with someone you have just met.

Government trying to work out if 'bumtard' is homophobic

THE government is to launch an inquiry into whether words such as 'bumtard' and 'spangler' are anti-gay.