THE thing you keep your stuff in that's owned by the bank and that no-one wants to buy anyway is worth Â£6000 less than it used to be, according to new research.
MAJOR gas suppliers are attempting to convert their customers' bitter tears of woe into an eco-friendly fuel.
THE smouldering shell that was once Hastings Pier is almost certainly symbolic of something or other, it has been confirmed.
CHERYL Cole dismissed claims of racism last night, insisting it has been years since she physically attacked a black person.
LOCAL councils have started ordering insignificant quantities of salt in preparation for a hard winter.
CHILDREN across Britain are being spruced up and placed on the open market today as millions of middle class parents look to cut their losses.
DISFIGURED child murderer Freddy Krueger has asked householders to consider the environment or he may have to tear out their spleens, it emerged last night.