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Could Newsnight have stopped Savile even though he was dead?

NEWSNIGHT'S Jimmy Savile investigation could have stopped the paedophile from abusing more victims even though he had been dead for two months, it has been confirmed.

Windmills preferred to cracking open the Earth's crust

GENTLY turning windmills are better than cracking open the Earth's crust in pursuit of billions of tonnes of exploding gas, according to new research.

Twats 'more of a priority than badgers'

PLANS to shoot badgers have been postponed in favour of a twat cull.

Apple launches replacement eyes

TECHNOLOGY giant Apple has created a range of bionic eyes for users suffering chronic retinal fatigue.

Phone hacking not right-wing

HACKING a mobile phone is not the same as opposing gay marriage, it has emerged.

Society to be dismantled following Savile scandal

RUPERT Murdoch is to assume control of England in the wake of revelations about the DJ Jimmy Savile.

Bond producers defend piles cream in Skyfall

JAMES Bond fans have voiced concern over the product placement of Preparation H in Skyfall.