MINISTER are to tackle rising anger over new planning laws by pledging
to dig more than 4m new Hobbit holes over the next 10 years.
STAFF at McDonalds are to spend the next three years patiently
explaining that the number next to the photo of the food is the calorie
count, not the price.
POLICEMEN should go to bed fully uniformed so they can be ready to pounce at a moment's notice, it has been claimed.
MORE companies are opting for an incredibly attractive bankruptcy, it has emerged.
TONY Blair has pledged to school his god-daughter in the ancient ways of dishonesty.
GETTING an unusual object stuck in your facebone is still the best way
of starring on page eight of Metro, it has been confirmed.
BRITAIN'S teachers absolutely cannot wait to get cracking now physical force can go unrecorded in classrooms.
COLONEL Gaddafi has made a renewed effort to rally the Libyan people with a pledge to set everything on fire.