THE new F22 Raptor stealth fighter can now store up to 25,000 songs and features a class leading 6.2 megapixel camera, built-in.
THE majority of British men were in a state of extreme confusion last night after seeing photos of 63 year-old Helen Mirren in a bikini.
A FIREFIGHTER sacked for being overweight is a key member of the team and makes an outstanding firedoor, his colleagues said last night.
TEENAGERS are being urged to sponge themselves thoroughly following a sharp increase in young person's sex diseases.
HOLLYWOOD'S A-list has gathered in New York for the premiere of the latest Batman film not to feature the Batusi.
ROLLING Stone Ronnie Wood has ditched his punishing regime of endless cocaine binges for the more sedate lifestyle of month-long drinking sessions with Russian barmaids.
GORDON Brown is to tackle violent crime by identifying the country's worst families and forcing them to live on the streets.
YOUNG people who carry knives are to be sent on a series of educational outings, taking in hospitals, Madame Tussauds and a spoon factory.