News

Grizzly bears accuse BBC of racism

DAVID Attenborough has been embroiled in a row over the ethnic diversity of bears in BBC documentaries.

Cottage of 17th century witch-columnist Lizzie Jones discovered

STUNNED archaeologists believe they have found the ancient former home of the notorious writer and sorceress Lizzie Jones.

'Straw Dogs' to be remade on ice

STRAW Dogs is to be resurrected as a family friendly Christmas ice show.

Rooney facing six months in quarantine

WAYNE Rooney may not return from his UEFA hearing today amid fears he will be kept in quarantine for six months.

Inventor of driverless car 'inspired by dream of masturbating in back seat of moving vehicle'

AS self-driving vehicles become a reality, their creator has revealed he was inspired by the notion of being able to masturbate while travelling on a busy road.

For Christ's sake just teach them, parents tell schools

PARENTS last night asked schools if there was any chance they could, for the love of God, just teach their children.

Satan missing from leaked Zuckerberg photos

THE Lord of Darkness does not appear in any of the leaked private photos of Mark Zuckerberg.

Women told to plan ahead for ill-judged drunken sex

WOMEN are being advised to prepare for the aftermath of having sex with someone they hate.