AN Australian pensioner today declared the British government to be excellent value for money.
INDUSTRIAL action by teachers will not undermine pupils' lack of respect for them, it has been confirmed.
AS the country's public servants once again challenge Britain to notice the difference, experts have issued an essential guide to national strike etiquette.
CHOIR-preacher Johann Hari has dismissed claims of plagiarism during a fantasy interview where he pretended he was talking to Michael Parkinson.
MOBILE phone operators have confirmed they will need more money to achieve their sole aim of bringing the whole world together.
TOMORROW'S public sector strike could leave UK airports exactly the same in every conceivable way, it was warned last night.
GENETICISTS have created a sheep that produces kebab meat, it emerged last night.
IMMIGRATION regulations keeping the country free of artists have been welcomed by people who are not dicks.