MARKS and Spencer is about to discover all the different words the French have for things that are shit.
THOUGHTFULNESS is on the increase across the UK with some people taking almost four seconds to choose a Mother's Day present, it has emerged.
THOUSANDS of heads were exploding across Britain today as people tried to work out which Daily Mail story was a hoax.
GROUND-breaking budget airline Ryanair has unveiled the industry's flimsiest every bullshit excuse for a price rise.
TV spiv Derek Acorah has perfomed a mysterious ritual to rid an ordinary family of its self-esteem.
BRITAIN last night offered safe haven to Colonel Gaddafi's charmingly-named terrorist sidekick.
ENRAGED people may be forced to return to their slightly depressing lives unless they can find a new cause, it has emerged.
AS the Fukushima nuclear power station teeters on the brink of a catastrophic meltdown, someone has pointed out that it looks a bit like Fern Britton.