News

MI5 Has Been Trying To Keep Things Secret, Says Judge

BRITAIN'S top judge has accused the secret service of trying to keep everything a big secret.

Honda Jazz Filled With Scorpions

CAR giant Honda last night confirmed that its Jazz supermini hatchback is full of deadly scorpions.

Labour Bottles The Taste Of Failure

THE Labour Party has combined the essence of disappointment, inertia and broken promises in a unique sauce that voters can add to their food.

Church Plans Supergay Parade Float

THE Archbishop of Canterbury has underlined the Church of England's support for tolerance and diversity with plans for a 'supergay' parade float.

America Divided Over Waterboarding Of Children

THE arrest of a US soldier accused of sticking his daughter's head in a sink has sparked a national debate over when it is acceptable to water-board a child.

Yes, Ethel Austin Was Still Going, Say Administrators

ADMINISTRATORS were last night called in to retail chain Ethel Austin, as thousands insisted it definitely went out of business no later than 1961.

Brangelina Split Foretold In Book Of Isiah

PASSAGES in the Old Testament predict the current relationship problems between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, according to a leading academic.

Ali Dizaei: Where He Went Wrong

SHAMED police chief Ali Dizaei's attempt to frame an innocent man was littered with 'schoolboy errors', his former colleagues said last night.