MANKIND'S introduction to extra-terrestrial life will be a series of lewd, unprovoked insults from Jonathan Ross.
HUMAN reproduction is invariably based on love and a deep longing to
create something unique and beautiful, it was confirmed last night.
BRITISH workers face spending their twilight years in peaceful, neon-lit retirement brothels.
WITH the rental sector booming, letting agents are set to topple estate agents as Britain's leading bunch of tick-like scumbags.
OFFICERS policing yesterday's student demonstrations have returned to work with serious injuries rather than admit they were hurt by some ponce called Ollie.
DEFENDING Britain's half-arsed interest in God and stuff is the sovereign's most important role, the Queen said yesterday.
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