News

Last year’s Big Brother contestants still in the house

THIS year's Big Brother contestants have discovered their predecessors have been trapped in the house for the last nine months.

Today declared Take An E at Work Day

MILLIONS of Britons are taking pills at work to commemorate the life of 'godfather of ecstasy' Alexander Shulgin.

Bored office workers can't remember what they did before the internet

SKIVING desk workers can no longer recall how they got through the day before they had websites to look at.

China commemorates 25 years since nothing happened

THE People's Republic of China has marked the 25th anniversary of everyone having a pleasant, uneventful day out in Tiananmen Square.

Page collapsed because Prince Philip drained too much of his blood

THE page boy who fainted during the Queen's speech had been weakened by Prince Philip's vampiric tendencies.

Teens being too soft for WW2 ‘not a massive problem’

THE fact that most young people would struggle to cope in World War Two may not be a problem, it has emerged.

Britain delighted with Queen’s latest waving box

BRITAIN has congratulated the Queen on her new mobile box, with windows big enough so we can see her lovely hands.

15,000 horny morons at risk from virus

THOUSANDS of randy, stupid computer owners are at risk from a virus attached to obviously fraudulent emails.