THIS year's Big Brother contestants have discovered their predecessors have been trapped in the house for the last nine months.
MILLIONS of Britons are taking pills at work to commemorate the life of 'godfather of ecstasy' Alexander Shulgin.
SKIVING desk workers can no longer recall how they got through the day before they had websites to look at.
THE People's Republic of China has marked the 25th anniversary of everyone having a pleasant, uneventful day out in Tiananmen Square.
THE page boy who fainted during the Queen's speech had been weakened by Prince Philip's vampiric tendencies.
THE fact that most young people would struggle to cope in World War Two may not be a problem, it has emerged.
BRITAIN has congratulated the Queen on her new mobile box, with windows big enough so we can see her lovely hands.
THOUSANDS of randy, stupid computer owners are at risk from a virus attached to obviously fraudulent emails.