News

Only a 30% chance of Cthulhu, say fracking experts

THE chances of shale gas exploration releasing a monstrous denizen of the underworld are less than one in three, experts have claimed.

Drunks trash McDonalds over lack of healthy options

ANGRY Friday night vegetarians ran amok in a branch of McDonalds when it failed to offer adequate meat-free and vegan menu choices.

Berlusconi parties a bit vanilla

THE parties held by penis-wielding former premier Silvio Berlusconi have shocked Italy with their lack of imagination.

Twitter users shocked to discover 9/11 was real

TEENAGE Twitter users believe that the events of September 11, as portrayed in movies World Trade Center and United 93, were fictional, it has emerged.

Idiot toffs inadvertently end gun culture

URBAN gun culture is officially over after some red trouser-type dickhead waved a fake pistol around.

Titanic passengers 'had feet'

TRAGIC passengers aboard the doomed Titanic wore shoes, new photos have revealed.

 

MX-5 drivers convinced they look cool

OWNERS of Mazda's popular affordable roadster are certain they attract admiring glances, it has been claimed.

Jamie Oliver's Bond book launched

THE latest literary outing for spy James Bond has hit the shelves, written by best-selling author and celebrity chef Jamie Oliver.