MICHELLE Bachmann has launched her presidential campaign with the ritual machine-gunning of a pig.
THE latest Transformers sequel has somehow made enormous flying robots seem like the dullest thing that has ever happened, it emerged last night.
PARENTS across Britain are to capture Michael Gove in a big net and then beat him with a sock full of pennies.
BRITAIN was today enjoying the sight of the bitch in their office sweating like a filthy pig on heat.
A SHOP which sells really uncomfortable sofas for £3000 is to close down.
MANCHESTER has become a self-sufficient vortex of annihilation, scientists have confirmed.
SCREEN icon George Clooney split from Elisabetta Canalis because she kept distracting from his vegetable patch, it has emerged.
MURDERING an ageing relative has never been simpler, it was confirmed last night.