GORDON Brown is to slash Britain's budget deficit by sucking the fat from your body and selling it to soap companies.
FORMER Echo and The Bunnymen drum machine DR670 has announced its plans to release a solo album.
WOMEN who know their place emit less carbon dioxide than uppity madames with so-called careers, it was confirmed last night.
SUPERMARKET giant Tesco was under pressure last night after it emerged its half-price turkeys are actually spaniels.
SOCIAL networking websites have been criticised for not introducing a help button for users to report awful, boring tits.