ANNOYING bastards are going to be constantly pestering you, thanks to electronic things.
PRETEND ‘Steampunk’ weapons are less effective than fists, a fight has revealed.
WAITROSE is the best supermarket for fresh produce and highly attractive middle-aged women, it has been claimed.
PEOPLE with allotments are reeling from the news that vegetables can be bought with cash.
GRANCHILDREN have threatened to withhold their affection if elderly benefits are handed back to Iain Duncan Smith.
BRITISH scientists are offering a free pint of lager to anyone who can eat a plateful of the Earth's core.
BRAINS belonging to members of UKIP have been hacked causing them to go mental.