APPLE idolaters have decided that they don’t miss Steve Jobs quite as much as they thought after their phones started exploding.
THE National Health Service is to save up to £30 a year by specialising in asking 25 year-old gym teachers if they're feeling okay.
BRITAIN is putting aside its woes and working together in a bid to stop Christmas.
EQUAL rights campaigners are celebrating after the government said the monarch's first born daughter should get to be automatically better than you.
THE manufacturers of the Blackberry will today be asked to explain why the Planet Earth still exists.
US vigilante Phoenix Jones has had his costume-based appeal for leniency rejected.
THE majority of potential organ donors would prefer to keep hold of their body parts until they are fully decomposed, just in case.
THE Portas Inquiry into Britain's high streets will close every shop in the country because Mary Portas is such an utter moron, it has emerged.