Credit card debtors sleeping like babies

MOST people are managing a sumptuous eight hours sleep a night despite crippling credit card debt, it has emerged.

Britain to celebrate Royal wedding with massive fight

THE ban on street brawling will be lifted temporarily for the royal wedding to allow celebratory fighting, it has been confirmed.

Palin 'hit with dishonesty bullets from .357 Magnum of unfairness'

SARAH Palin has hit out at her critics in the wake of the Tuscon shootings claiming they have fired at her 'with a semi-automatic hunting rifle of injustice'.

Schools to change baccalaureate to something pupils can spell

SCHOOLS across England are to change the name of the new baccalaureate to something like 'Bat' or 'Cat'.

UK's biggest selling car is a goat

RECORD numbers of UK households are ditching the family car for a medium-sized goat.

Undercover officer lured back with meat

POLICE hope to lure undercover officer Mark Kennedy back into a police station using a steak on the end of some thread.

Cannibals, say tube drivers

LONDON'S tube drivers have launched their latest strike threat, claiming they are being picked off one by one by a family of voracious cannibals living in the underground system.

Mosley in bid to protect lovers of buttock pain

MAX Mosley has launched a bid to protect people who love it when their bare bottoms are alive with delicious agony.