PEOPLE designating themselves as geeks will have to pass a basic exam, it has been confirmed.
CHANNEL 5 has revealed that this year's Celebrity Big Brother housemates are all ghosts, apart from Rylan.
PREDATOR is set to continue its unbroken run of winning every film prize since 1988.
TOM Daley's Saturday night diving show has kicked-off with the deaths of 12 of its celebrity contestants.
BRITAIN has not been reduced to a post-apocalyptic wasteland, populated by insane cannibals, it has been confirmed.
THE Sun's open letter to Argentina is a double bluff to deliver the paper's dream of a second Falklands war, it has emerged.