Six-year-old writes letter calling Southern Trains money-grubbing f**ks

A SIX-YEAR-OLD girl has written a letter to a train company asking why they are such bastards.

Couple to lie about not having met on internet

A COUPLE have vowed to lie about how they met after getting together at a social gathering.

Yesterday most depressing day of year, say scientists disgusted at what they've become

MONDAY January 19th was officially the most depressing day of the year, according to scientists degrading themselves by concocting media bullshit.

European dole more chic and sophisticated

BEING on the dole in Europe is a more stylish and sophisticated experience than in the UK, ex-pat Britons have claimed.

Cyclists to stop displaying genitals

BRITAIN’S cyclists have decided to stop showing everyone their reproductive organs.

Dads deprived of sexual arousal at the breakfast table

FATHERS have responded to the end of Page 3 by claiming it was just an innocent bit of sexual stimulation to enjoy with their cereal.

Colds and flu not even vaguely similar

PEOPLE with colds who claim to have the flu have been reminded that the two things are entirely f*cking different.

Petri dish goes viral

A PETRI dish has become the centre of attention after developing a new strain of thymosin-derived ACT1 peptide.