SUPERMARKET giant Tesco is offering a sandwichalisation service, giving customers the chance to place any form of matter between two slices of bread.
RYANAIR chief executive Michael O'Leary has asked the little people of Ireland to forgive him for stealing their precious gold.
SEXUALLY abusing a child is as sinful as eating soup with a dessert spoon, Pope Benedict confirmed last night.
A NEW graduate tax will see those bothered to turn up, get a good degree and a lucrative career pay a higher rate than the likes of you.
MALNOURISHED people across Africa have vowed to crawl to their nearest television to watch the BBC's dramatisation of Live Aid.
IF the Home Office has even a shred of decency left it will immediately replace Anna Chapman with something of comparable humpability, Britain's men said last night.
ANGELINA Jolie last night urged movie-goers to be inspired by the pacifist message of her new film Unrelenting Gun Death II: So Much Blood.