CELEBRITIES are to have the meaning of the word 'bully' explained to them, in a bid to stop it becoming utterly meaningless.
THE classic hip hop track Summertime, which celebrates seasonal sunshine and happiness, is sounding like a cruel joke to UK radio listeners.
WATER voles are no longer taking shit off predators, it has emerged.
BRITAIN has been warned to wind down its jubilee partying, with many celebrants now having been seven nights without sleep.
THE theft of passwords from networking site LinkedIn is a direct attack on the world's prick and douchebag communities, it has been claimed.
WILLIAM Shakespeare’s first theatre offered mainly low-budget hardcore sex plays, it has emerged.
DOCTORS have warned that millions of sober people are unprepared for the full horror of modern Britain.
MEMBERS of the royal family are gutted to be back at their desks after a four-day break, it has emerged.