Minimum entry requirement introduced for geeks

PEOPLE designating themselves as geeks will have to pass a basic exam, it has been confirmed.

Celebrity Big Brother housemates all ghosts apart from Rylan

CHANNEL 5 has revealed that this year's Celebrity Big Brother housemates are all ghosts, apart from Rylan.

'Predator' to win all film awards for 27th consecutive year

PREDATOR is set to continue its unbroken run of winning every film prize since 1988.

'Splash!' drowns 12

TOM Daley's Saturday night diving show has kicked-off with the deaths of 12 of its celebrity contestants.

Britain not a smouldering heap, proclaim Cameron and Clegg

BRITAIN has not been reduced to a post-apocalyptic wasteland, populated by insane cannibals,  it has been confirmed.

Sun 'double bluffing' Argentina into war

THE Sun's open letter to Argentina is a double bluff to deliver the paper's dream of a second Falklands war, it has emerged.