News

Uniting behind Brexit a bit hard if you think it's shit

'COMING together' to make a success of Brexit is difficult if you believe it is a heap of shit, it has been claimed.

Poor people to graze on London's 'garden bridge'

LONDON’s new ‘garden bridge’ will be grazed by herds of people living below the poverty threshold, it has been confirmed.

Unstable friend now somehow a counsellor

A WOMAN with a chaotic personal life and a history of believing in total nonsense is now being paid to give people advice, shocked friends have revealed.

People in massive cities don't live in real world, says man from tiny village

CITY dwellers are completely cut off from the realities of modern life, according to a man from a tiny rural village.

Gove hoping for 'bumbling idiot butler' role in Trump household

MICHAEL Gove is hoping Donald Trump will hire him as his 'bumbling British butler' when he becomes president, it has emerged.

Men desperate to help push car

A GROUP of over 80 men is jostling to help push a broken-down car.

All fiction banned in case some moron thinks it is real

FICTION-BASED books, films and television programmes have been banned to avoid confusing idiots.

Man thinks watching Sherlock makes him an intellectual

A MAN believes he is intellectually superior because he slavishly follows the implausible storylines of Sherlock, he has revealed.