News

Humanity hails first selfless act involving a penis

A PIONEERING penis transplant may be the first time the male organ has actually helped someone, it has been claimed.

Hungover office worker convinced headphones make him invisible

A HUNGOVER office worker is this morning hoping that wearing headphones will somehow make him invisible.

Holiday handover note just thinly veiled list of grievances

AN OFFICE worker's holiday handover email is just a passive aggressive list of reasons she hates her job, it has been revealed.

Middle class man unsure if he was mocked by group of working class men

A MAN has been left bewildered by a social interaction with other, more common men.

Huge fly announces plan for brief and confused visit to living room

A HUGE fly has announced plans to fly into living rooms in a fast and confused fashion before desperately trying to find his way out again.

Six-year-old taken on term-time holiday will never catch up on colouring

A SIX-YEAR-OLD girl taken on holiday during the school term will be a week behind in colouring for the rest of her life, teachers have confirmed.

Slovenians can’t wait to hear wacky British Eurovision entry

SLOVENIAN Eurovision fans are gleefully anticipating whatever crazy act the UK is entering for Eurovision this year.

BBC dumped Tories in 1996

THE BBC has told the Conservative Party to get over that time they dated back in 1996.