Trump to play saxophone for first time at Presidential inauguration

PRESIDENT-ELECT Donald Trump will play a saxophone set at his January inauguration despite never having played it before.

Scouts f**king up your shopping for money

SCOUTS are at supermarket tills asking for a charity donation to crush your groceries.

Brexiters definitely not worried about losing second referendum

BREXITERS’ passionate opposition to a second referendum is definitely not because of fear they would lose, they have confirmed.

Black Friday was in Dante’s Inferno, discover experts

SCHOLARS have found that Dante’s epic Inferno contained a circle in Hell for Black Friday shoppers.

I’m more of a glass half-full person, says Brexiter

A BREXITER has confirmed that he is one of those people who always looks on the sunny side.

Not too many people on Facebook complaining about new porn laws

VERY few people on Facebook are complaining about proposed new laws on pornography, it has emerged.

Mums treating cold weather like deadly radiation

MUMS are treating the fairly cold weather as if it were lethal radiation, it has been confirmed.

Teenager humoured over bullshit college course

A TEENAGER’S belief that a local college course will lead to an amazing career in the media has been politely humoured by relatives.