News

Fake Sheikh ascends to Saudi throne

UNDERCOVER reporter Mazher Mahmood, posing as an Arab sheikh, has become the new ruler of Saudi Arabia.

World Economic Forum degenerates into money fight

DISCUSSIONS at the World Economic Forum have been derailed by world leaders throwing bundles of Euros and dollars at each other.

Levi Roots launches Post-Punk Post-Punk Sauce

DRAGONS’ Den entrepreneur Levi Roots has announced a new condiment inspired by obscure early 80s experimental rock music.

Page 3 returns with animal nipples

THE Sun has reinstated semi-naked females on its third page, but will stick with non-human species.

Most people go to cinema just to be annoying

THE majority of cinemagoers only do it to annoy strangers by talking and making rustling sounds, it has emerged.

Wolf Hall viewers still waiting for wolf

VIEWERS of Wolf Hall have complained to the BBC that it did not feature the promised wolves.

Internet providers to block images of expensive shit that kids want

PARENTS have welcomed a move by broadband providers to shield children from images of desirable toys.

Minimalist cigarette packets make smoking cool again

THE government's contemporary plain packaging for cigarettes has made them desirable once again.