News

Bake Off gets spin-off series How Much Cake Can You Eat?

THE BBC’s popular baking show is to be followed in the schedules by a cake-eating competition.

Topshop to replace mannequins with skeletons

RETAILER Topshop is to replace its controversial slender mannequins with skeletons.

Man overestimated by targeted advertising

A MAN is suing Google for persistently misrepresenting him as an affluent, cultured individual.

Office worker excited about impending 'trickle down' of wealth

ADMINISTRATOR Wayne Hayes is eagerly waiting to feel the benefits of Britain’s robust economic growth.

Tosser policeman not going soft on cannabis

PC TOM Logan is determined to keep busting people for having tiny amounts of cannabis because he is a tosser.

European tour group being shown around your house

A GROUP of 20 European teenagers with backpacks is currently being given a guided tour of your home.

Grandad rings up for help deleting his Ashley Madison profile

YOUR grandfather has phoned up to get help deleting his profile from hacked sex contacts site Ashley Madison.

Neighbour celebrates 10 years of hammering the shit out of something

NEIGHBOURS of a man in Stevenage have confirmed that Roy Hobbs has completed 10 years of hammering the absolute shit out of something in his house.