Man realises he's been singing 'F**k the Pain Away' in the office

A MAN has realised he was singing a sexually explicit song about extreme mental anguish while at work.

Pippa Middleton's wedding DJ mentally prepared for worst night of his life

THE DJ at Pippa Middleton’s wedding is ready for several hours of sheer hell, he has confirmed.

This Russia thing completely separate from other Russia thing, says White House

THE White House has clarified that the new scandal about Russia is completely unconnected with its previous, different, Russian scandal.

Stressful deadlines 'completely made up', admit bosses

BOSSES have confessed that the deadlines they set for nightmare amounts of work are made up at random.

Rightmove confirmed as 'Tinder for married people'

COUPLES get their kicks from ogling period homes with plenty of character rather than hot single people, it has emerged.

Christian couple to wait until marriage before having threesome

A CHRISTIAN couple have agreed to wait until they are united in holy matrimony before having a threesome.

McDonald's identifies potentially lucrative 'bereaved kid' demographic

A MCDONALD'S marketing meeting has decided that bereaved children will probably want some burgers.

All craft beer tastes of metal

EVERY single fancy beer just tastes like a different type of metal, it has been confirmed.