DOLLY Parton has been contracted to play just the bit of 9 to 5 that everyone knows for the duration of her Glastonbury set.
THE Northern Lights are a sign that God approves of gay marriage, according to pro-European Christians.
EVERY chocolate bar invented since the Wispa has been either uninspired or disgusting, it has emerged.
PEOPLE who accuse Vladimir Putin of being a latent homosexual may want to back off for a bit, experts have confirmed.
A WHALE graveyard is full of tacky and garish tributes left by other whales, it has emerged.
A NEW smartphone app combines geolocation and the paranormal to show all the ghosts in your vicinity.
COLDPLAY frontman Chris Martin has pleaded with fans to stop buying their music so they can stop making it.
THE new Samsung smartphone kicks off if you stare at it.