Refugees asked to just hold on while we have this debate

REFUGEES from Syria have been asked to just drive their boats in a circle until Europe decides what to do with them.

Cameron encourages private sector to bomb Syria

THE prime minister has announced financial incentives for any UK business which commits to airstrikes in Syria. 

Man still baffled by Pointless

A 28-YEAR-OLD man simply cannot get his head around the rules of TV game show Pointless.

Sotheby's to auction Star Wars fans

AUCTION house Sotheby's has announced its first major sale of rare, untouched Star Wars fans still in their original packaging.

FHM reader too sad to light own fart

A DEPRESSED FHM reader has passed up the opportunity to ignite his anal gas, it has emerged.

Muslim man in Northampton asked what he's doing about ISIS

A 38-YEAR-OLD Muslim working as a land surveyor in Northampton has been asked how he plans to stop ISIS.

Oxford English Dictionary shuts down and tells Britain to f**k off

THE Oxford English Dictionary has declared the ‘tears of joy emoji’ as Word of the Year before telling Britain to go f**k itself.

Nigella exhibiting signs of demonic possession

TV COOK Nigella Lawson is possessed by a demon, it has emerged.