News

Vegans still claiming they have their own cheese

VEGANS have repeated their claim that they have their own type of cheese.

Man outwits Student Loans Company by staying poor forever

AN ingenious graduate has hatched a plan to avoid repaying his student loan by never earning a decent wage.

You could reduce drug use instantly by just f**king off, Britain tells Tories

THE UK has told the Conservatives that they could halve drug use at a stroke by going away and never coming back.

Joy as grown man falls off skateboard

BRITAIN was cheered yesterday as a man on a skateboard fell hard on his face while trying to ‘ollie’ up a kerb.

Man who can’t get Radio 4 invites patronising posh friend over

A RADIO 4 listener whose radio suddenly died was able to recreate the experience by getting a talkative posh friend to come round.

Two Waitrose shoppers trapped in endless ‘no, after you’ loop

TWO shoppers have become trapped in the doorway of their local Waitrose with both insisting the other goes through first.

Southern Rail improves dramatically after work experience kid takes charge

SOUTHERN Rail’s punctuality has improved by 68 percent after the franchise was taken over by a 16-year-old on work experience.

Iceberg four times bigger than London also four times nicer than London

AN ICEBERG that has broken away from Antarctica is four times the size of London and also four times more hospitable, experts have confirmed.