News

Friends enthralled by gig filmed on phone

SMARTPHONE footage of a Jamie T gig has been acclaimed as superior to actually being there.

Corgis eat ‘heroic’ quantity of magic mushrooms

THE Queen’s corgis have been left permanently changed after consuming vast quantities of magic mushrooms.

Christmas jumpers make being fired such jolly fun

A JUNIOR accountant’s disciplinary proceedings were full of festive cheer because everyone involved was wearing a Christmas jumper.

Pint spillage forgiven in most grudging possible manner

A MAN has ostensibly forgiven the accidental spillage of his pint while maintaining a threat level close to maximum.

Asteroid headed straight for self-centred astronomer

AN egotistical scientist has claimed that a mountain-sized asteroid is headed right at him.

Putting on coat renamed ‘deploying personal anti-elements shield’

THE government has recommended wildly exaggerated militaristic terms for putting on warm clothes.

Jennifer Aniston films take place in shared universe

ALL of Jennifer Aniston's romantic comedies take place in a single coherent universe, it has been revealed.

Relationships to be privatised

ALL romantic relationships will soon be provided by private companies, the government has announced.