News

It will never be cold again, agrees Britain

THE UK has agreed that today’s mild sunshine means summer has arrived and it will never be cold again. 

Man 'wins argument' by pointing out tiny mispronunciation in girlfriend’s sentence

A MAN has thoroughly proved his point by abandoning his argument and highlighting a small error in his girlfriend's pronunciation.

Every Daily Mail story takes 30 minutes off your life

EVERY Daily Mail story you read takes 30 minutes off your life, experts have revealed.

Single man mourns washing up sponge

A SINGLE man has spent the weekend mourning his washing up sponge.

Everyone kind of hoping Attenborough and the Queen get together

EVERYONE in Britain would be happy if David Attenborough and the Queen eventually became a couple, it has been confirmed.

It's not the first time Trump has used 'mission accomplished' wrongly, confirm various women

DONALD Trump has been wrongly declaring 'mission accomplished' for decades, according to various women.

Five weekend activities that look really weird if you don’t have a kid

WEEKENDS can seem fun, but for the childless they’re really just long, boring days to shop through until the acceptable time to start drinking.

Freelancer changes from work pyjamas to leisure pyjamas 

A FREELANCER has marked the start of the weekend by changing from her formal work pyjamas into her loungewear pyjamas.