A SELF-EMPLOYED man would love to be trapped in a soul-destroying salaried job, he has confirmed.
TWO-THIRDS of all immigrants were imprisoned on their home planet Krypton before escaping and heading to Britain, the Daily Mail has revealed.
KEN Loach has criticised the scheduling of costume dramas on Sunday evenings instead of plays about the debasement of the working classes.
THE undead have pledged their support for Donald Trump in the US presidential election.
THE Bank of England has promised anyone worried about inflation that soon they will look back and marvel at how naive they were.
AN EXPRESS reader is struggling to come to terms with his new reality after receiving a different newspaper by mistake.
A PICTURE involving a basket has received a coveted award for uninspired kitten photography.
BOB Dylan has not opened his letter from the Nobel Prize committee because he believes it is a gas bill.