CROWDS outside St Mary’s Hospital in West London have been hurling abuse at any non-royal newborns.
LONDONERS are competing to plunge into quirky, independently-run holes in the pavement.
BRITONS exercise purely to justify eating more food, it has emerged.
EVERYONE on television and radio is just some fucker trying to get you all worked up.
DEVOTING your life to money-saving tips will cause you to die alone and unloved, experts have warned.
A PETITION to stop Glasgow being razed to the ground has reached 30 signatures and is hoping to hit 50 by the weekend.
BARISTAS at Starbucks are permitted to draw erect penises on attractive customers’ cups, it has emerged.
UNAIRED Top Gear footage will be edited to show Jeremy Clarkson regenerate as writer Sir Salman Rushdie.