THE UK’s weather has reassured anxious parents it will return to raining solidly for their upcoming fortnight away.
A SUPERMARKET chain has apologised after exposing its customers to a book that was not an action thriller or idiotic historical romance.
A MAN who works from home has reiterated for the eighth time today that he is not sitting in the garden.
THE heatwave currently hitting Britain has led to a huge rise in people moaning about it.
TRIDENT is useless apart from making the Labour party look like pacifist weirdoes, one of Britain’s top generals has warned.
BRITAIN is almost at the stage where it could imagine feeling pity instead of visceral loathing for Kelvin McKenzie.
THE vast majority of the UK’s ‘banter’ fails to meet basic levels of pithiness, experts have revealed.
THERESA May has launched a brutal crackdown on people who steal toilet rolls from their employers.