Prometheus lauded by stoner critics

RIDLEY Scott’s sci-fi epic Prometheus is the greatest film ever made, leading pothead reviewers have claimed.

Yay woo yay the Queen woo yay

WOO, the Queen yay woo, according to lots of people.

Countdown to opening of jubilee biscuits begins

A BIG tin of biscuits bearing a stirringly patriotic design will be opened by the public in less than 72 hours.

Moffat unveils all-nude Sherlock

THE next series of Sherlock will be filmed entirely in the nude, producer Steven Moffat has announced.

Gary Barlow trapped in Queen's arse

SURGEONS are working to free Take That toady Gary Barlow after he became wedged inside the Queen.

Really wanting a kebab not an emergency, Britain told

BRITONS have been reminded that having a strong desire for spicy meat is not a reason to dial 999.

Benefits claimant admits subsistence income scam

AN unemployed man is scamming the taxpayer out of £67.50 a week, it has emerged.

65% of UK population has been on Come Dine With Me

ALMOST two-thirds of British people have appeared on Channel 4's Come Dine With Me, it has emerged.