News

Hello Kitty ‘the nightmarish result of an immoral genetic experiment’

HELLO Kitty is a vengeful cat-human hybrid that feeds on livers, it has been confirmed.

The Shard turned into a charity shop

LONDON’S tallest building has become Europe’s biggest branch of Cancer Research.

DVLA getting kids to make tax discs

THE DVLA has a team of seven-year-old girls making its tax discs using colourful card and glitter.

‘Piss off, you hipster git’ says Mary Berry

BRITAIN cheered last night as Mary Berry told a hipster to get the hell off her television programme.

Paid work is a poor career choice, say employers

WORKERS who demand to be paid are missing out on valuable opportunities to showcase themselves and add to their CVs, it has been claimed.

Australia wants to get its war on

AUSTRALIA has said it is willing to join bombing missions in Iraq, or anywhere else, because it loves a good fight.

Ryanair ‘business class’ just ticket for different airline

RYANAIR has introduced ‘business class’ by selling tickets for proper airlines.

Mafia ‘in awe’ of UK train companies

A GROUP of New York mobsters has visited Britain to get tips on exploitation from train companies.