Priests To Strike On Halloween

ROMAN Catholic priests are threatening to strike on their busiest night of the year.

Which Popstar Likes To Strip Naked And Ride Around Her Dining Room On A Pig?

SPECULATION was growing last night over which international pop superstar likes to get buck naked and ride bareback on a pot-bellied pig.

Let's Make The War On Terror More Of A Contest, Says Ba Boss

AIRPORT security should be relaxed in a bid to make the war on terror more interesting, the chairman of British Airways has claimed.

'If You Destroy Holly Or Fearne, The Other Will Die'

HOLLY Willoughby and Fearne Cotton are the twin sisters of Beelzebub and must be destroyed at all costs, experts have claimed.

Frigid Lesbianism Caused By Brain Defect

WOMEN who don't like having sex with men have something wrong with their brains, a new study has finally proved beyond doubt.

Cherie Blair's Sister Converts To Aldi

CHERIE Blair's sister has converted to Aldi, it emerged last night.

Fury Over Death Of Britain's Biggest Cow

ANGER erupted across Britain last night after the nation's largest cow was found dead.

London To Be Socially Cleansed After Child Bitten By Poor Person

LONDON'S poor are to be culled after a child was bitten by an unemployed adult male.