BRITAIN'S council estates have been cordoned-off after they were linked to the creation of Cheryl Cole.
SIR Alan Sugar is to task the remaining Apprentice contestants with making Ireland's economy less cock-shaped.
EXTRA-terrestrials are reaching out to the idle working class after a craft shaped like a high-fat snack was sighted over Dudley.
THESE airport x-ray images that were supposed to show full-frontal nudity are very disappointing, creepy masturbators said last night.
PRINCE William will be barred from the throne unless he spends at least Â£80m on his wedding, constitutional experts have confirmed.
GRANDPARENTS are finding their kindly exterior increasingly difficult to maintain, it has emerged.