Libyans appoint Charlie Sheen as transitional dictator

VICTORIOUS rebel leaders have installed former Two and a Half Men star Charlie Sheen as Libya's interim lunatic, it has been announced.

Saucy librarian fraud exposed

THOUSANDS of young women wearing large-framed glasses are not actually repressed nymphomaniacs, it has been revealed.

Revolution based on film based on comic

THE growing citizens' revolution across the western world is based on a Natalie Portman film that is based on a comic, it has emerged.

Clarkson sues Gervais for schtick theft

TOP Gear lynchpin Jeremy Clarkson is to sue Ricky Gervais for trying to steal his personality.

Yeo Valley adverts 'making public lose fear of farmers'

THE public has been warned to keep away from farmers after a yoghurt fan was shot while asking a Welsh herdsman to 'bust some rhymes'.

Stone Roses confirm gig cancellations

MANCHESTER t-shirt vendors The Stone Roses are to reform for a new series of concerts they won't turn up to.


Dale Farm eviction brings out best in everyone

THE eviction of the Dale Farm travellers' site has really brought out Britain's good side, it has been confirmed.

Morrissey to sue himself

MORRISSEY the Singer is to sue himself after things he said made people think he might be a bit racist.