News

Ten In Ten Homeopathic Prescriptions Contain Mistakes

A SURVEY of prescriptions written by homeopathic practitioners has found that 10 out of every 10 is riddled with unscientific garbage, according to a new study.

Copy Of 'Knave' Discovered In Remote Archipelago

THE global search for a man who has not seen pornography has been abandoned after the discovery of a tattered copy of Knave stashed under a tribal totem in the South Pacific.

Christmas Markets 'Are Trojan Horse For Nazi Invasion'

TRADITIONAL German Christmas markets are the vanguard of a massive Nazi invasion, it was claimed last night.

UK Children Approaching Maximum Thickness

BRITAIN'S children are now just two years away from maximum thickness, according to the latest exam statistics.

Windows 7 Users Complain Over 'Black Screen Of Being Conned Out Of Two Hundred Quid'

MICROSOFT have admitted that some users of its new Windows 7 operating system have been confronted with the dreaded 'Black Screen of Paying £200 for Something That Doesn't Work'.

Obama Confuses Afghanistan With Country That's Not Insane

PRESIDENT Obama last night unveiled plans to send an extra 30,000 troops to Afghanistan after confusing it with a country that is not completely insane.

Iran Should Tire Of Yachtsmen Fairly Quickly, Say Experts

IRAN will soon find the five British yachtsmen they have captured quite unbearable, experts predicted last night.

David Hasselhoff's Mind To Become Theme Park

FORMER Baywatch star David Hasselhoff's psyche is set to become a multi-million dollar tourist attraction, with rides, cafes and high strangeness.