THE coalition which has blighted the summer could last until August, it has been claimed.
UNPAID workers at the Olympic site will be given surface-to-air weapons and asked to look out for anything suspicious, it has been confirmed.
PEOPLE whose houses have flooded are responsible for most of society's ills, it has emerged.
CHRISTOPHER Nolan's latest Batman film consists of a cinema screen that remains black and silent for two-and-a-half hours.
KATIE Holmes has left the world of Scientology for a more normal type of bullshit by experimenting with Catholicism.
WE only have ourselves to blame for the current awful weather, it has emerged.
MALE buyers of slip-on plastic shoes will be offered the chance to have their genitals removed at no extra charge, it has emerged.
31-YEAR-OLD Tom Logan took his own life after failing to hate TV chef Jamie Oliver's festival-themed show, it has emerged.