THE new Universal Credit scheme has erroneously paid out millions of pounds to claimants across our galaxy.
CAKE is not as good as everyone says it is.
THE consumption of rosé has been banned for the next seven months, pending a review at Easter.
SAMSUNG'S new Galaxy Gear watch is aimed at people who want to look like they are playing a kids' spy game, it has emerged.
CHILDREN without a primary school place are being sent to live on an island without adult supervision.
THE reason dropped toast always lands on the buttered side is that everything is shit, according to scientists.
ALL UK policy decisions are to be based on anecdotal evidence, the government has announced.
THE city of London has begun using lethal death-rays to wipe out its human population.