COMPUTER problems have forced the London Stock Exchange to reopen its famous shouting pits.
AMERICA became the world's largest council estate last night after the US government bought all the houses.
A UNITED Nation's plea to reduce meat consumption was rejected last night as millions decided planet Earth was not as good as some nice chops.
DOING everything Chris Moyles tells you to do is now the UK's biggest cause of accident and emergency cases.
FANS of Coldplay are more likely to display the personality traits of unbearable, self-satisfied arseholes, according to new research.
A FILM about Princess Diana that the film-makers say is not about Princess Diana is obviously about Princess Diana, cinemagoers said last night.
SUPERSTAR DJ Fatboy slim bears no resemblance whatsoever to his father-in-law, it was confirmed last night.
REPUBLICAN vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin last night wowed the party convention as she pledged to 'git me one uppity niggra'.