News

Commitment Phobia Link To Lack Of Blow Jobs

A MAN'S reluctance to get married is linked to his fear of a lack of oral sex, new research shows.

Can I Have A Car As Well? Ask First-Time Buyers

FIRST-time buyers across Britain are hoping the government can see its way clear to stumping up for a motor as well.

Helen Mirren Vomits On Coffee Table

DAME Helen Mirren last night threw up all over a coffee table and then urged everyone to have a good look at it.

Aaron Sorkin To Write Film About Norwich Union

WEST Wing creator Aaron Sorkin is to make a feature-length movie about insurance giant Norwich Union. 

Recesssion Will Turn Britain Into 'Bunch Of Arseholes'

THE economic downturn will lead to a sharp rise in people being arseholes, according to a leaked Home Office letter.

Supermarkets 'Selling Things People Want To Buy'

BRITAIN'S supermarkets were last night accused of stocking the products their customers want to buy.

David Duchovny Has His Cake And Shags It

X-FILES star David Duchovny last night became the latest Hollywood star to have sex with countless women and then claim he was not right in the head.

Duchovny has checked himself into a rehabilitation clinic which specialises in the treatment of men who like to hump anything that moves but do not want to have arguments with their wives.

David Duchovny Has His Cake And Shags It

X-FILES star David Duchovny last night became the latest Hollywood star to have sex with countless women and then claim he was not right in the head.