THE number of cases of swine flu could catch up with the number of cases of hiccups and diarrhoea, given 10-12 years, doctors have claimed.
THE department of health last night unveiled a non-emergency alternative to 999 for the thousands of people who call in everyday to say their leg feels funny.
WHILE the world isn't looking, Sarah Palin has summoned an army of goblins, trolls and giant insects to her Alaskan fortress of evil.
THE security services have opened a 24-hour torture centre staffed by low-wage Indian workers, it was claimed last night.
THE new Rubik's puzzle can provide a healthy alternative to a sexual relationship and is definitely not a fetish for OCD social misfits, its inventor said last night.
CLAMPING someone who sees a no-parking sign and then blatantly ignores it is a breach of their human rights, the RAC has claimed.