POPE Benedict will today visit the scenes of the made-up stories that form the basis of his crazy, voodoo religion.
WOMEN with huge bazongas were last night getting it all their own way, yet again.
BRITAIN'S biggest banks will be forced to close for a few days roughly every four weeks, under new government proposals.
NATO was on full alert last night after pop-shouter Bono threatened to read a 14-minute poem about Elvis on Radio Four.
THE government's decision to ban some foreign people with unpleasant views has made everyone incredibly nice, it was confirmed today.