News

Brother-in-law unveils pathetic drink driving excuses

YOUR brother-in-law has previewed his feeble excuses for driving drunk over the festive season.

Britons long to be servants

THE pathetic obsession with posh people is caused by a desire to perform menial tasks for the upper classes, it has emerged.

Kids planning to get drunk on chocolate liqueurs

A GROUP of 13-year-olds has revealed plans to get wasted this Christmas by eating a lot of chocolate liqueurs.

UK moon mission ‘not just a piss-up’

THE organisers of a UK moon landing have strenuously denied that it is an excuse to drink lager in space.

McNuggets made with organic, fresh child meat

MCDONALD’S has revealed that its nuggets contain locally-sourced boy.

Podcast evangelists worse than Christians

PODCAST listeners are unable to perform basic interactions without recommending podcasts, researchers have found.

Extreme weather not going to stop Britons having a fag

BRITAIN’S cigarette addicts have confirmed that no amount of bad weather will stop them inhaling carcinogens.

Disney buys royal family

THE royal family is now the intellectual property of the Walt Disney Company, it has emerged.