FLIES have admitted the universe contains a substance which light can pass through but they cannot.
CONSTANTLY criticising your child’s school is a vital part of being a shit parent, it has been claimed.
MILLIONS of gallons of face paint washed off in the wake of Brazil’s humiliating defeat have turned the nation’s rivers turquoise.
ACTOR George Clooney may break the habit of a lifetime and switch from the Daily Mail to the Daily Express.
THE Drugs Policy Unit has announced that the possession of poor quality cannabis is no longer against the law.
A CANCER cure has lost out on Kickstarter to a humorous scheme to buy a garden gnome a hat.
TESCO has launched a special Tight Bastard range aimed at misers.
BRITAIN is reeling under an onslaught of Pimm’s-fuelled violence and disorder due to forgetting that the summer drink is alcoholic.