BRITAIN is almost at the stage where it could imagine feeling pity instead of visceral loathing for Kelvin McKenzie.
THE vast majority of the UK’s ‘banter’ fails to meet basic levels of pithiness, experts have revealed.
THERESA May has launched a brutal crackdown on people who steal toilet rolls from their employers.
THE Church of England is attempting to attract younger people with a new version of the Bible which includes Pokemon.
EVERYONE has remembered how good The Lion King is.
WORKING class families are now eating Vienetta for dessert, it has been revealed.
EVERYTHING is falling apart so you should get a head start on your looting, experts have confirmed.
A MAN from Leeds has been forced to explain he does not know every one of the city’s 766,000 residents personally.
- Britain to get absolutely everything it wants from Brexit negotiations
- UK officially assigned ‘clown country’ status
- Woman enters third week of battling Starbucks latte
- Hunt stays as Health Secretary after May decides she hates everyone in Britain
- Miserable Osborne returns to life of cocaine and prostitutes