A MAN is convinced that Britain should stay in Europe because he imagines it gives him continental flair.
2016 is to be brought to an early end before anybody else dies.
NORTHERN parents are furious with their son for throwing a used teabag straight in the bin instead of showing it the proper respect.
FARMERS have decided to spray gallons of rotting excrement everywhere now that it is nice to go outside again, it has emerged.
THE only people who support the monarchy are rather strange with a lot of time on their hands, it has emerged.
THE US will probably invade Britain if it leaves the EU, according to senior White House sources.
A WOMAN has launched a campaign to ban microbeads as soon as she has finished a particularly expensive bottle of shower gel.
A MAN is having problems expressing his sense that life is an empty shout in a meaningless, howling void using only emojis.