News

Britain almost starting to feel pity for Kelvin McKenzie

BRITAIN is almost at the stage where it could imagine feeling pity instead of visceral loathing for Kelvin McKenzie.

Most ‘banter’ actually just people talking shit

THE vast majority of the UK’s ‘banter’ fails to meet basic levels of pithiness, experts have revealed.

May to purge Britain of people who steal toilet paper from work 


THERESA May has launched a brutal crackdown on people who steal toilet rolls from their employers.

Jesus was the original Pokemon, claims Church of England

THE Church of England is attempting to attract younger people with a new version of the Bible which includes Pokemon.

Lion King still brilliant

EVERYONE has remembered how good The Lion King is.

Working classes now eating Viennetta 


WORKING class families are now eating Vienetta for dessert, it has been revealed.

You may as well start looting now, say experts

EVERYTHING is falling apart so you should get a head start on your looting, experts have confirmed.

Man from Leeds doesn't know everyone from Leeds

A MAN from Leeds has been forced to explain he does not know every one of the city’s 766,000 residents personally.