News

Adults who read books for kids excited again

ADULTS who only read books for children are thrilled at the announcement of a new trilogy by His Dark Materials author Philip Pullman.

Couple who 'don’t have to talk all the time' clearly going to split up

A COUPLE who claim to enjoy spending long periods of time in silence are quite obviously doomed, it has emerged.

Being a bellend 'is key to Tinder success'

A POPULAR Tinder user has shared advice on being a predictable bellend who just says things other people want to hear.

Annoying principled friend wants you to sign yet another petition

A TIRESOME friend wants you to take two seconds to help yet another persecuted group of people and or animals.

Hard drive manufacturer sends you Valentine's email

THE manufacturer of your backup hard drive has sent you a special love-themed offer for Valentine's Day.

General Flynn says tearful ‘do svidanya’ to White House comrades

FIRED Trump adviser General Michael Flynn has put on his fur hat, taken a final shot of vodka and wished his White House comrades do svidanya. 

'Going up the Shard' probably a euphemism

A COUPLE planning to 'go up the Shard' later are probably talking about a sex thing, it has been claimed.

Middle classes using yoghurt as a condiment

MIDDLE class people are using yoghurt as a type of sauce, it has emerged.