News

Part-time smoker's attempt at roll up an ‘abomination’

A SOCIAL smoker's attempt at making a rolled up cigarette has been classed an ‘abomination’ by all who saw it.

Optimistic father gives Black and Decker Workmate to 29-year-old son

A MAN has given a Black and Decker Workmate to his son in a desperate bid to stop him being so pathetic.

Banksy exhibit 'somehow worse than Blackpool'

SMELLING of chip fat in a Blackpool amusement arcade is still better than Banksy's latest exhibit, visitors have confirmed.

Middle class cocaine to come with lies about ethical origin

COCAINE sold to middle class people is to come with some blurb about being made by an ecologically-minded cartel that funds community projects.

Wetherspoon pubs named after made-up historical figures

MOST Wetherspoon pubs are named after local luminaries that never existed, it has emerged.

Mumsnet hacked with tedious parenting crap

HACKERS have rendered the Mumsnet website unreadable by swamping it with self-absorbed drivel about children.

All state schools should be Nandos, says Cameron

DAVID Cameron wants state schools to offer a fast-casual educational experience inspired by the traditions of Mozambique.

Men pathetic

MEN are pathetic beyond all comprehension, it has been confirmed.