Samsung phone owners experiencing closest thing they will ever get to excitement

THE reliable, boring people who own Samsung phones are experiencing their most nearly-exciting day ever.

Meditation leads to painfully obvious spiritual insights

A MAN who recently took up meditation has gained spiritual insights that anyone could have thought of, it has emerged.

Parents welcome third child who is clearly an accident

A COUPLE have welcomed their third child, who is clearly an accident although they are playing that down.

‘Killer clowns’ either complex sociological phenomenon or just twats

THE ‘killer clown’ craze is either the result of complicated sociological factors or just twats arsing about, it has been claimed.

Man always knew exploding phone would be the way he’d go

THE unrepentant owner of a Samsung Galaxy Note 7 has said he has lived by the phone and so is not afraid to die by it.

Man accidentally walks in on flatmate painting Warhammer figurines 

A MAN was forced to quickly shut his living room door after accidentally discovering his flatmate painting Warhammer figurines in the middle of the afternoon.

Internet trolls forced to troll in real life

A CLAMPDOWN on internet trolls is forcing them to do their trolling in the real world, they have revealed.

Teenagers being taught vital life lessons by Glastonbury ticket website

THE misery and frustration of missing out on Glastonbury tickets is good training for life, delighted parents have confirmed.