Dating jargon more confusing and weird than actual dating

DATING terms such as ‘ghosting’ and ‘benching’ are even weirder than going on actual dates, it has been claimed.

However wide you make parking bays we will park across two of them, confirm 4x4 drivers

PEOPLE who drive massive jeep things have confirmed that they will always park across two bays even if there is loads of space.

British sovereignty best served by UK becoming 51st state, says Farage

BRITISH sovereignty can only be saved by the UK becoming part of the United States, Nigel Farage has claimed.

Tragic bastards somehow nostalgic about Safeway

PEOPLE who feel nostalgic about an old supermarket brand have been told to get a f**king grip.

Men under increasing pressure to become Nazis

MEN across the Western world are under intense social pressure to become Nazis, experts have claimed.

Twats planning something awful

THIS group of twats is working on something truly dreadful, it has emerged.

Flooding in new areas now a pre-Christmas tradition

FLOODING in places that have never suffered flooding before is now an annual pre-Christmas event, it has been confirmed.

Woman phones in sick with ‘post-truth’ excuse

A WOMAN has given a bullshit reason for not going to work because there is now no such thing as lying.