ADULTS who only read books for children are thrilled at the announcement of a new trilogy by His Dark Materials author Philip Pullman.
A COUPLE who claim to enjoy spending long periods of time in silence are quite obviously doomed, it has emerged.
A POPULAR Tinder user has shared advice on being a predictable bellend who just says things other people want to hear.
A TIRESOME friend wants you to take two seconds to help yet another persecuted group of people and or animals.
THE manufacturer of your backup hard drive has sent you a special love-themed offer for Valentine's Day.
FIRED Trump adviser General Michael Flynn has put on his fur hat, taken a final shot of vodka and wished his White House comrades do svidanya.
A COUPLE planning to 'go up the Shard' later are probably talking about a sex thing, it has been claimed.
MIDDLE class people are using yoghurt as a type of sauce, it has emerged.