News

Network Rail unveils route to Saudi Arabia

NETWORK Rail has announced plans to extend its Great Eastern Main Line through to Saudi Arabia.

All internet providers total and utter bastards

EVERY broadband company is an absolute shower of shit run by complete bastards, it has been confirmed.

Mum wants to hear and ruin your Christmas plans

YOUR mother is keen to hear what you have in mind for Christmas so she can completely overrule it.

Greenpeace vows to destroy planet

FORMER environmental organisation Greenpeace has pledged to wipe out all animal species then blow up the planet.

Hopelessly mixed metaphor enters fifth analogy

AN anecdote about work has turned into a hellish mess of ill-advised comparisons.

Diggers weirdly hypnotic

THE average Briton spends 210 hours of their life staring at diggers, it has emerged.

Kim Jong-un 'was injured juggling skyscrapers'

NORTH Korea has confirmed that its Supreme Leader suffered a minor foot injury after dropping an 88-storey building.

Stylish office still essentially a prison

'COOL' design-conscious offices are really just light, airy prisons, according to workers.