News

Mums vow to keep you updated on people you barely knew at school

MUMS have renewed their pledge to keep phoning with news about people you didn’t really know at school.

16-year-old rapper writes song about giving up his life of crime

TEENAGE rapper Wayne Hayes has penned a song about how he is leaving behind his life of crime, it has emerged.

Queen very good at it, say experts

THE Queen is extremely good at being the Queen, it has been claimed. 

Liking mornings linked to being stupid

PEOPLE who are upbeat in the morning have extremely low intelligence, it has been confirmed.

Beyonce announces collaboration with Greggs

BEYONCE is working with Greggs on a range of pasties designed to empower women of all shapes and pasty-eating abilities.

Gallery visit sparks lifelong hatred of culture

A TEENAGER has vowed to shun anything of artistic value for the rest of his life.

Dog apology video ‘is best Johnny Depp film in a decade’

JOHNNY Depp’s string of poor career choices has ended with a captivating short film about why it is wrong to smuggle dogs into Australia.

Failed musician wants you to know how amazing settling down is

SETTLING down with kids and a mortgage is an incredible achievement that surpasses anything else, according to a man whose other plans failed.