News

Guardian fascinated by Wetherspoon’s breakfasts

THE Guardian has launched an investigation into why people choose to have breakfast at Wetherspoon’s.

Barista convinced someone will notice he’s playing his band's demo

A COFFEE shop barista is sure today will be the day a customer notices that he is playing his band’s demo.

Facebook to remove anything that isn’t sanctimonious shit

FACEBOOK is now taking down any posts that fail to boast of the user’s clear moral superiority.

Trevor Phillips: 'Nobody has ever said these things about racism before'

AS THE former chairman of the Commission for Racial Equality, I know explosive truths about race that the rest of the UK has never, ever discussed.

People seeing Putin everywhere

VLADIMIR Putin sightings have surged in the last 48 hours.

Muse album cover sparks collapse of capitalism

CAPITALISM collapsed this morning, following the unveiling of Muse's incendiary new album cover.

New volcanic island emerges in shape of Putin’s face

A NEW volcanic island has emerged from the Pacific Ocean that looks like Russian president Vladimir Putin.

Everyone at Southeastern Railways claiming today is their first day

EVERY member of staff at Southeastern Railways only started today and so is, sadly, unable to help you.