News

Woman ditches ‘summer body’ in favour of things that are not bollocks

A WOMAN has given up her bid to look good on a one-week holiday in favour of a summer full of drink and bacon, it has emerged.

Breakfast actually third most important meal of the day

BREAKFAST is the least important meal of the day, it has been confirmed.

Corsodyl advert shows woman being murdered by her own teeth

THE makers of Corsodyl mouthwash have defended a new advert in which a woman’s teeth come to life and murder her.

Can you put all this in an email for me? asks manager who doesn't know what else to say

A MANAGER has asked one of her team to ‘put all this in an email’ because she could not think of anything else to say.

Money environmentalists defend tax havens

CASHOLOGISTS have argued that tax havens offer the last unspoiled refuge for untamed profits.

Shit thick internet users puzzled by not particularly hard maths question

INTERNET users have been confused by a maths question from a children’s exam because they are as thick as shit.

Dad who was miserable failure with girls forced to give relationship advice

A FATHER who was unable to attract women in his youth is having to advise his son about relationships, it has emerged.

Bank of Mum and Dad 'f**kers just like the rest of them'

THE Bank of Mum and Dad is run by total bastards just like all banks, it has emerged.