Britain to continue in normal state of ridiculous incompetence

BRITONS are relieved to discover that life will continue in its everyday state of raging incompetence and chaos.

Parents being weirdly nice to 16-24 year olds

PARENTS of young adults across Britain have been acting sheepishly this week, it has been confirmed.

Passive-aggressive mum excited to become judgmental nan

A MUM with passive aggressive tendencies has become a nan who will constantly judge her daughter's parenting.

People enjoying themselves really ruining it for everyone

A GROUP talking and laughing in a restaurant is making everyone else's meal a living hell, it has emerged.

Report confirms Daily Mail won't be happy until, well, they'll just never be happy

THE Daily Mail will never, under any circumstances, be happy, it has been confirmed.

What's a Piers Morgan? asks Ariana Grande

INTERNATIONALLY famous pop star Ariana Grande has asked her team to explain what a Piers Morgan is.

Man thinks his job is secure

A MAN believes his job is secure, it has emerged.

Nan started folding t-shirts in shop

A GRANDMOTHER couldn't resist re-folding crumpled t-shirts during a visit to HMV, it has emerged.