News

Man has absolutely no intention of leaving his comfort zone

A MAN has confirmed he is completely happy in his comfort zone and the chances of him leaving it are zero.

Mickey Mouse warns terrorists not to underestimate his power

MICKEY Mouse has delivered a stark warning to terrorists, following the arrest of a gunman at the Magic Kingdom.

Save tiny amount of money by doing stuff that's a massive pain in the arse, says consumer expert

UK CONSUMERS could save £15.68 a year if they went to hugely time-consuming lengths to do so, it has been claimed.

Mini Cooper owners even worse than you suspected

PEOPLE with Mini Coopers are even worse than you had assumed, it has emerged.

Humanity not ready for Easter egg-sized Creme Egg

SCIENTISTS have confirmed that you are not ready for a Easter egg-sized Cadbury’s Creme Egg.

Nice people planning surprisingly heartless break-ups

PEOPLE who seemed quite nice are preparing to split up with their partners in surprisingly brutal ways, they have revealed.

Wearing pyjamas on school run ‘frees up time for pointless bloody-minded arguments’

NOT changing out of your pyjamas saves vital time for bloody-minded disputes with perceived authority figures, parents have claimed.

Lazy spare bedrooms despised by hard-working master bedrooms

HARD-WORKING master bedrooms have spoken out against idle spare bedrooms that do nothing but claim benefits.