News

Man unsure whether to take phone call while on the toilet

A MAN awaiting news about a job was unsure whether to answer a phone call because he was on the lavatory.

Woman ends 20-year attempt to like jazz

A MUSIC fan has finally admitted that jazz is bad.

Campaign to make pubs unbearable continues

BRITAIN'S public houses will be functionally unbearable by 2018, it has been revealed.

What happens to you one hour after reading the Daily Mail

NEW research by the Institute for Studies has revealed what happens in the first hour after the Daily Mail hits your eyes.

New cafe allows man-children to return to the womb

A NEW cafe in Hackney allows customers to return to pre-birth conditions in special womb-like pods full of amniotic fluid.

London Underground ‘could eventually run during the day’

LONDON Underground could eventually run an uninterrupted service for up to 18 hours a day, it has been claimed.

Proud parents got to pay for f**king university now

THE parents of students who achieved their A Level goals are pretending to be happy about the situation.

New band to perform entire first album in full

A BAND has promised to perform its first, and so far only, album in full on an upcoming tour.