SWORN adversaries Aldi and Waitrose need each other on some weird level, it has been claimed.
READERS of the Daily Mail have declared ISIS’s stance on crime and sex to be disappointingly soft.
INDIVIDUALS who claim to be enthusiastic actually just like hearing themselves speak.
TWITTER'S new 'retweet with comment' feature has made feigning concern quicker, so that users can get back to looking at pornography.
CHILDREN’S TV hit Teletubbies is to return, featuring the dead body of Tinky Winky which is ignored by his former friends.
A CREPUSCULAR forest wherein echoes the melancholic song of the nightingale is to become the UK’s first goth sanctuary.
DON Maclean has apologised to American Pie obsessives, admitting he was just trying to make it rhyme.
THE search for a missing Maltesers egg has continued through the night.