News

Olympics-themed office fun 'not fun'

OLYMPICS-RELATED office 'fun' only serves to highlight the shitness of work, it has emerged.

Controlling psycho has problem with boyfriend getting wasted every night

A NIGHTMARE psycho bitch won’t let her boyfriend get hammered every night, his friends have confirmed.

Viruses having awesome summer at festivals

POTENTIALLY debilitating viruses are having the ‘best summer ever’ at all the big music festivals.

No-one wants to be on ‘Strictly’ with Ed Balls

THE BBC is struggling to find contestants for the new series of Strictly Come Dancing because Ed Balls is in it.

Couple pretending they met online so they don’t seem weird

A COUPLE who met in a pub are telling everyone they got together online so as not to seem like social misfits.

Crowd at under 18s night far more pissed than at adult gig

THE crowd at an under 18s 'dry bar' gig was much drunker than at an equivalent adult event, it has emerged.

Train strike leaves commuters with roughly the same chance of getting to work

A FIVE-DAY train strike has left commuters with about the same chance of getting to work as usual.

Fracking victims to receive share of hazmat suit and lake of fire

PEOPLE whose tap water is going to burst into flames will be given a share of a biological warfare suit, the prime minister has confirmed.