Internet trolls forced to troll in real life

A CLAMPDOWN on internet trolls is forcing them to do their trolling in the real world, they have revealed.

Teenagers being taught vital life lessons by Glastonbury ticket website

THE misery and frustration of missing out on Glastonbury tickets is good training for life, delighted parents have confirmed.

Hipster annoyed that obscure friend is becoming popular

A HIPSTER is angry that a woman he befriended before anyone else now has lots of other friends too.

More business networking done through Airbnb than LinkedIn 

MORE people are finding employment and forming new business ventures through Airbnb than LinkedIn, it has emerged.

Clinton in narrow victory over deranged baboon

HILLARY Clinton remained on course for the White House despite an unconvincing debate victory over a crazed baboon.

Britain needs coffee and a fag before reading about Trump again

BRITAIN has said it will catch up with the latest Trump news after some strong stimulants.

Farage to school Trump in the art of seduction

NIGEL Farage is to rescue Donald Trump’s campaign by training the Republican candidate in the art of seduction.

And we were so close to voting for Trump, say women

WOMEN voters in the US have admitted that Donald Trump has really let them down.