Britain to stage an intervention for Question Time

BRITAIN is to stage a substance abuse intervention for Question Time before the BBC show has a total breakdown.

Pope smashes bottle on bar

POPE Francis broke the bottom of a Grolsch bottle open on a bar when asked how Catholics should respond to insults to their faith.

Dieter has already lost one and a half friends since start of January

A WOMAN who has embarked on a new diet is already seeing her social engagements dramatically slimmed down.

Entire nation formation dancing to Uptown Funk

THE whole of the UK is performing exuberant choreographed dance routines in the streets to number one record Uptown Funk.

Thundersnow heralds the coming of the Ninth Demon, admits Met Office

THUNDERSNOW has opened a portal to hell and released the dreaded Ninth Demon, the Met Office has finally admitted.

It’s not about what you think it’s about, say clever people

WHATEVER the public believe things are about, they are actually about something else entirely, clever people have confirmed.

Two idiots climb big thing for some stupid reason

A PAIR of morons scaled a sheer rock face for reasons that make no sense whatsoever.

Zuckerberg now youngest person still on Facebook

THIRTY year-old Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg is the youngest person still on it.