News

Educated women unable to find men despite willingness to accept some twattish qualities

INTELLIGENT young women are struggling to find partners despite being open to men who are sometimes a bit twattish.

Is it hot, or too hot? Take the Mash test

IT'S SUMMER, the sun is blazing down, and it's nice and hot. Or is it too hot? Take our test to find out.

Delivery driver's coming anticipated like Christ's

THE coming of a DPD driver who will drop off a package today has been anticipated like the return of the messiah.

'Have I told you I'm in therapy now?' asks friend who talks about nothing else

A WOMAN who has started therapy mentions it in every single conversation, it has emerged.

Office worker strangely not praised for being shitfaced in meeting

AN EMPLOYEE was surprised to receive a formal warning for drinking heavily in a meeting like Sports Direct boss Mike Ashley.

Nuke Alaska, whatever, US tells North Korea

THE US has challenged North Korea to launch a nuclear strike on Alaska to see if they even notice. 

Women disgusting, says Dove

WOMEN are icky and only our products can save them, Dove has claimed.

Worker unable to rationalise why he ate a Greggs pasty

AN OFFICE worker is unable to figure out why he ate a pasty from Greggs for his lunch.