News

Sun reader suspects paper of using subliminal messages

A REGULAR Sun reader suspects the newspaper is using subliminal messages to try and influence his political views.

Music playing from somewhere on computer

A MAN has been unable to locate the source of music playing on his computer.

‘Shit’ only accurate word for trains

BRITAIN’S train services are impossible to describe without an excrement comparison, it has emerged.

False dawn as PowerPoint presentation skips to the end

STAFF on a training day were given a cruel flicker of hope when a PowerPoint presentation malfunctioned.

Anyone throwing confetti goes straight to hell, say vicars

VICARS have informed wedding guests that throwing confetti on church ground means eternal damnation.

Builders must whistle at men too

LECHEROUS builders who wolf-whistle at women must now behave similarly towards men.

UK just wants normal telly back

ORDINARY Britons have demanded politicians stop being on the television.

Chimps being groomed for your job

CHIMPANZEES are currently being trained up to take your job.