News

Tickets to London property crash already sold out

MORE than 800,000 front row seats to watch London’s property market collapse in April next year have already sold out.

Britain to get retractable roof

THE UK is to ditch Trident and spend the £170 billion savings on a retractable roof to cover the entire country.

Man way less upset about female prime minister than female Ghostbusters

A MAN who fiercely opposes the all-female Ghostbusters reboot is unconcerned about a female prime minister.

London-bound man excited about spending £4 on a cup of tea

A MAN moving to London cannot wait to drop the best part of a fiver on a cup of tea.

I had affair with your sister and got her pregnant 'in good faith', man tells wife

A MAN has explained to his wife that fathering a child with his sister-in-law 'was the right decision at the time'.

Brexiter’s excuses increasingly bollocks

A MAN’S excuses for problems clearly caused by Brexit are getting increasingly desperate.

George W Bush picks up mobile, sees who’s calling, puts it down

FORMER president George W Bush has picked up his iPhone, looked at the caller, returned it to his pocket and continued his round of golf.

Chilcot takes seven years to report the absolutely f**king obvious

SIR John Chilcot has confirmed everything that absolutely everybody already knew the entire time.