Exercise 'knackering'

A MAN who thought exercise was meant to give you stamina and energy has complained that it just made him knackered.

Obama also had this thing about not jumping into a pit full of wolves, Trump told

DONALD Trump has been informed that Obama was very much against presidents jumping into pits full of wolves.

Highway Maintenance van loves shitting up other motorists

A HIGHWAY Maintenance driver has admitted that making BMWs panic when they mistake him for the police is the best part of his job.

I would definitely spend this free ten grand on sensible shit, says 24-year-old

A 24-YEAR-OLD has applauded a new plan to give her £10,000 and promised not to waste it on drugs, holidays, and drugs on holiday.

You shouldn't be getting trains if you haven't done the research, say operators

RAIL operators have told passengers to stop using trains if they are too lazy to spend a few hours researching ticket prices.

Social event organised without creating f**king Whatsapp group

A DRINK at a local pub has been arranged without being discussed at length via a moronic Whatsapp group.

Couple only see friends so they can slag them off afterwards

A COUPLE only see their friends so they can slag them off on the drive home, they have admitted.

Woman who 'speaks as she finds' could also 'shut the f**k up'

A WOMAN does not actually have to give her candid opinion in a blunt and tactless way, it has emerged.