BRITISH scientists are offering a free pint of lager to anyone who can eat a plateful of the Earth's core.
BRAINS belonging to members of UKIP have been hacked causing them to go mental.
SITTING in front of the television getting arseholed is to be considered a 'proper' weekend pursuit.
FANS of the band Iron Maiden are somehow unaffected by the self-consciousness epidemic sweeping the Western world.
THE impressive holes in Britain's road have become a draw for foreign tourists.
THE latest set of GDP figures indicate the UK economy may have suffered some sort of cataclysmic event about five years ago.