MORE than 30 per cent of the country is off-limits because of fireworks that did not go off.
ALL small firms must be run by total maniacs heading for a coronary, according to a new EU ruling.
THE government is to remove health advice from rolling tobacco packets because the people who buy them simply do not care.
FANTASY drama Game of Thrones is now being filmed in every conceivable place.
A WINTER coat has given its owner the unfounded sense of a new beginning.
GAMERS around the world are reluctantly fulfilling their obligation to play the new entry in the Call of Duty franchise.
THE devil has given up after admitting that the Debenhams Christmas advert is more evil than anything he could have conceived.
SCOTLAND has blamed England for being bad at the one thing it is supposed to be good at it.