News

Prisoners face roach crisis

A BAN on books in British prisons has deprived inmates of makeshift cigarette filters, according to insiders.

Russia excluded from True Detective finale

PRESIDENT Obama has announced sanctions against Russia which include a ban on the season finale of True Detective.

All dietary advice was fruit company conspiracy

FRUIT companies have misled the public into thinking fat and processed sugar are bad, it has emerged.

Everyone too up themselves to make the tea

WORKERS are going without hot drinks because everyone in the office thinks they're above making tea, it has emerged.

Ant McPartlin attacked by drunk, angry intellectuals

ANT from Ant&Dec has been attacked outside a London pub by a drunken gang of high-brow television enthusiasts.

Russian troops claim to be birdwatching

THOUSANDS of Russian troops camped on the Ukrainian border have claimed to be looking for the spotted Baltic woodpecker.

Remastered albums can send listeners back in time

ANNIVERSARY reissues of classic albums can physically transport listeners backwards in time, scientists have discovered.

Bristol is best city because you can smoke weed in the street

BRISTOL is the UK's best city to live in because cannabis is unofficially legal there, it has been claimed.