News

Scientists developing twat-free bikes

RIDERLESS bicycles free of dangerous knobheads in lycra will soon be a reality, scientists believe.

Sean Paul will feature on your songs, musicians warned

MUSICAL artists across the world have been notified that none of them are safe from an unplanned Sean Paul feature.

Curry houses face shortage of limp salad for you to ignore

CURRY restaurants are facing bankruptcy after a lettuce shortage means they have no limp salads for diners to disregard.

Trump kindly grants world a holiday from mental shit

PRESIDENT Trump has generously granted the world a 24-hour break from his onslaught of lunatic behaviour.

Big-hearted rail companies not going to burn down your house

IN an act of unprecedented generosity, Britain’s train companies have confirmed they will never set fire to your house.

Massive suitcase ideal for train

A MAN believes it was the right decision to take the largest suitcase he could find onto a crowded train.

Family whose mum feeds them on £3 a day spending £42 a day on snacks

A FAMILY whose mother boasts of providing them with healthy, nutritious meals for £3 a day secretly spend £294 a week on junk food.

Man reveals bigger belly than Beyonce

A 54-YEAR-OLD man has delighted the internet with a photo of his huge stomach.