News

Luxury apartments demolished to make way for community hall

A VIBRANT luxury development in East London has been demolished to make space for a drop-in centre for locals of all ages.

Vegemite should be restricted because it tastes like graveyard soil, say campaigners

CAMPAIGNERS have called for a ban on the sale of Vegemite because of how it tastes.

Retired ‘scabs’ return to break one last rail strike

THE government is to combat rail strikes by putting together a crack team of retired ‘scabs’.

Pizza Express tips going to radical pro-middle class group

TIPS given to waiters in Pizza Express are funding the middle class equivalent of Class War, it has emerged.

Kids fully aware that all their questions are annoying

SMALL children ask a lot of questions as part of a strategy of being deliberately irritating, it has emerged.

Man theoretically buys homeless person a sandwich

A WOULD-BE good Samaritan is theoretically up for buying a homeless person something to eat.

New cookery show based on bringing in junk food

A NEW cooking show will see contestants compete by bringing in their favourite junk food.

Cumberbatch urges theatre goers to appreciate how very f**king special he is

BENEDICT Cumberbatch last night pleaded with London theatre goers to remember that he is so very fucking special.