New Teletubbies is 'a f**king travesty' says original fan

THE new series of Teletubbies is an insult to those who have kept its memory all these years, it has been claimed.

Chinese demand for English upper class idiots soars

PRESIDENT Xi Jinping’s friendship with David Cameron has led to a surge in Chinese demand for our public school idiots.

All of man’s knowledge about coffee

A MAN knows a great deal about coffee but nothing about anything else, it has emerged.

Bono claims victory in Myanmar elections

BONO has taken power in Myanmar following three decades of tireless campaigning.

Local knobhead still setting off fireworks

A LOCAL knobhead is annoying everyone where he lives by continuing to set off fireworks five days after Bonfire Night.

Thai hipster opens British ‘street food’ cafe

A THAI hipster has opened a cafe in Bangkok selling authentic British ‘street food’, it has emerged.

Grown men into that card game about wizards and shit

THOUSANDS of adult humans are into that game where you have little cards with pictures of monsters on them.

Bag for life ‘a haunting reminder of mortality’

A REUSABLE shopping bag hanging on the back of a cupboard is a grim reminder of its owner’s inevitable death.