BRITAIN'S dicks have used the 'supermoon' to excuse their awful personalities.
THE producers of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles remake have wearily confirmed that they are doing a follow-up.
EVERYTHING stopped this weekend while the nation read the latest thoughts to come out of Will Self's massive brain.
BRITONS have confirmed that the state can never come between them and drink.
COMPETENT builders have left their middle-class employers unable to complain extensively to friends.
PEOPLE who don’t have children know more about raising them than those who do, it has been confirmed.
AN internet user who spends most of his time praising free-market capitalism is entirely dependent on his mum.
OVER 700,000 people in the UK take cocaine regularly, despite none of them liking it.