News

Lord Freud tells disabled to rent out their wheelchairs

A GOVERNMENT minister has urged disabled people to rent out their wheelchairs when they are not sitting in them.

Bono to do a shit in your sock drawer

CONCEITED rocker Bono has announced plans for a free gift of a turd among your socks.

Workers urged to admit they f*cked up

BRITONS have been urged to stop covering their arses when they make a hash of things at work.

A & E now just a website

ACCIDENT and emergency services can now only be accessed via the internet, the government has announced.

Trafalgar Square pigeons to defy smoking ban

THE famous 40-a-day pigeons of Trafalgar Square are going to ignore new laws against smoking in public.

Our bad-tempered behaviour is not a cry for help, say old men

ELDERLY men have warned the public not to try making friends with them.

UK sells last tiny piece of infrastructure

A TRAFFIC island which was the UK's last piece of infrastructure has been sold to the private sector.

Older workers to get nostalgia breaks

WORKERS over 45 are to be given daily breaks to lose themselves in vivid recollections of the past.