News

Hammock incredibly stressful

A MAN who used a hammock has described it as the least relaxing experience of his life.

Office workers visiting the bathroom just for something to do

MOST office toilet breaks are merely for the sake of variety, it has emerged.

Do not photograph more than four eggs per day, say experts

TAKING Instagram egg photos can trigger insanity, it has emerged.

Working-class grannies requisitioned by middle-class households

LOVING working-class grandparents are to be reassigned to cold, ambitious middle-class families in dire need of them.

Countries whose names don't work with '-exit' barred from leaving EU

BRITAIN has been cleared to leave the EU because Brexit is perfectly usable while other countries have been permanently barred.

Fred Goodwin having another lovely day

FORMER RBS chief Fred Goodwin is enjoying another lovely day while you pay off his debts.

Female scientists look ravishing when they take off their glasses

THERE is a striking transformation from ‘clever’ to ‘gorgeous’ whenever lady scientists take off their glasses, it has been claimed.

HSBC staff sacked by kindly pink-haired pensioners

THE kindly-seeming old ladies running HSBC have decided to sack 8,000 people because profits are down.