Man feeling betrayed by Carrie Fisher affair

A MAN is experiencing feelings of betrayal over Carrie Fisher’s affair with co-star Harrison Ford.

Scientists believe reality is a dream in racist nan’s mind

OUR reality is just a dream in the mind of a nan who doesn’t like foreigners, it has been claimed.

'Quiet night in' means exactly that once you hit 40, confirm experts

‘HAVING a quiet night in’ is as mind-numbingly dull as it sounds once you reach 40, experts have confirmed.

Woman in supermarket spends 20 minutes staring at Sugar Puffs to avoid small talk with neighbour 

A WOMAN spent 20 minutes staring at breakfast cereal in a supermarket to avoid making small talk with a neighbour she does not really know very well.

Queen 'to have everyone to stay once palace has been done up'

THE Queen has promised that everyone can spend a weekend at Buckingham Palace once the renovations are done.

BBC newsreaders perform ‘Smack My Bitch Up’ for Children In Need

THE BBC newsreaders have reenacted controversial Prodigy video Smack My Bitch Up for the Children In Need appeal.

UK completely unprepared for snow for 10,438th winter running

BRITAIN has once again found itself unprepared for snow as it has been since the beginning of recorded history.

Nation sick of having heart warmed

BRITAIN has asked retailers to cease their barrage of heartwarming Christmas adverts.