British Gas raises then freezes electricity prices 'as a favour'

BRITISH Gas has raised electicity prices by 12.5 per cent then immediately frozen them, as a favour to their customers.

Man gets sugar from bowl to mug without making total f**king mess

A MAN has been able to get sugar into his tea without spilling it across every conceivable surface in the area.

Cocaine to help tackle excessive niceness

COCAINE is being hailed as a wonder drug that can help people who are too nice for their own good.

Non-competitive woman just likes being the best at everything

A WOMAN has insisted that it is definitely not a competition and she simply 'enjoys' being really good at things.

Don’t call me stupid, says Brexiter before saying something stupid

A BREXIT supporter is  sick of being called stupid despite continually saying stupid things, it has emerged.

Couple split after empty Pringles tube put back in cupboard

A COUPLE has been torn apart by a cynical act of Pringles-based selfishness, it has emerged.

Man doing walk of shame immensely proud of himself

A MAN doing the ‘walk of shame’ home from a one-night stand is in fact very proud of having had sex last night, he has confirmed.

Uber to launch gondola app once Britain fully submerged by rain

UBER is preparing to launch a gondola service once Britain is completely under water.