News

Thousands dead in Bannockburn re-enactment

OVER 5,000 people have been killed in a field in a faithful re-enactment of the Battle of Bannockburn.

Rain dampens spirits

CLAIMS that rain wouldn’t dampen spirits at Glastonbury and Wimbledon this weekend have been proved wrong.

All Christmas leave already booked

YOU cannot have any time off at Christmas because everyone else has already booked theirs, it has emerged.

Girls on shoulders refusing to get down

HUNDREDS of women are still being carried around on mens' shoulders as they leave Glastonbury.

Man voluntarily attended The Bodyguard musical

43-YEAR-OLD man Tom Logan chose to go and see the musical version of The Bodyguard, it has emerged.

Plain cigarette packaging to be designed by Apple’s Jony Ive

DESIGN guru Jony Ive, the man behind the iPod and iPhone, has signed up to design the new featureless cigarette packaging.

Primark issues hand-stitched denial of poor working conditions

PRIMARK has denied its clothes are made in sweatshops in a statement sewn in sequins on a cardigan made in Bangladesh.

Longest acronym covers all possible reactions

A NEW sixteen-thousand character acronym encapsulates all conceivable reactions to anything seen on the internet.