A MAN who has bought new trainers can no longer leave the house for fear of what might happen to them.
NOBODY knows what the flavour of Irn-Bru is supposed to be, it has emerged.
BRITISH workers in need of a pay rise could simply take it by force, it has been claimed.
HISTORIANS are studying an edition of the Magna Carta that makes England French property from June.
THE last two people who listen to the music of Kula Shaker are undergoing enforced breeding to prevent the extinction of their kind.
WRITING 900 words about injustice for a broadsheet newspaper is more effective than getting off your arse and doing something about it, it has been claimed.
UKRAINE is to be detached from the earth and floated 6,000m above sea level so Russia will not be tempted to invade.
A LONDON development has included below-stairs maids' rooms as its quota of social housing.