News

Sir Tim Berners-Lee apologises for inventing the internet

THE inventor of the internet has apologised because it is such a load of bollocks.

Man thinks bullshit business course is genuinely educational

A WORKER studying for a pointless management qualification thinks it is genuinely educational, he has revealed.

Fresh air harmful to Londoners

LONDONERS are against pollution cuts because clean air hurts their poison-adapted lungs, it has emerged.

Marvel to introduce first ever diverse storyline

MARVEL comics is to introduce a diverse storyline where the same old shit doesn't happen.

Office worker doesn't like to measure her coffee intake in pints

AN OFFICE worker has announced that she would rather not consider the amount of coffee she drinks in pints because it would sound rather grim.

Waitrose shopper struggling with hot drink benefits cuts

37-YEAR-OLD Waitrose shopper Emma Bradford is struggling to cope after the supermarket cut her hot drink benefits, she has revealed.

Cadbury 'ignoring part of Bible where rabbit gives Jesus a Wispa egg'

CHOCOLATE maker Cadbury has ignored the biblical story of Jesus getting a Wispa egg off a rabbit, it has been claimed.

Man somehow believes his flat is clean

A MAN who believes his flat is quite clean is incorrect, it has emerged.