A MAN has been deceived into thinking he is a professional chef by food websites and celebrity cookbooks.
MOST of the food at Piers Morgan’s 50th birthday party remained uneaten, it has been confirmed.
SCIENTISTS have been unable to identify a single worthwhile reason for dropping litter.
ACTIVIST and author Naomi Klein’s hair looks too good, it has been claimed.
FORMER X Factor host Dermot O’Leary was shown clips of his time on the show before being dropped into Simon Cowell’s carnivore pit.
PEOPLE with big letters strewn around their homes are illiterate morons, it has been confirmed.
AS Britain prepares to spend £300 million on chocolate, experts have confirmed that chips are still far better.
BRITONS lost what would have been their greatest hour over the weekend.