News

Bush Unveils World's Biggest Car

PRESIDENT Bush has underlined his commitment to tackling climate change by unveiling the world's biggest car in Detroit.

Men With Small Penises Mourn Spam King Arrest

MILLIONS of men with small penises and their wives were last night plunged into despair after the US announced it had arrested the so-called spam king of the internet. 

It's War!!! Salmond Builds 400 Mile Bridge To Attack Dutch

ALEX Salmond is to cancel plans for an Edinburgh tram system and use the money to build a 400 mile bridge from Scotland to Amsterdam.

Big Brother Unveils 'All Idiot' House

THE latest series of Big Brother kicked off last night with the unveiling of a house made up exclusively of idiots and half-wits.

God Tells Britney To Sod Off

GOD last night said he would pretend to be out after troubled singer Britney Spears revealed she “could not wait to meet Him”. 

Google Launch Own-Brand Sausage

GOOGLE is to launch its own brand of sausages after it emerged that the most frequently asked question by internet users is "what sausage shall I eat today?"

Iran Signs Four-Year Deal With Disney

IRAN has abandoned theocracy and signed a four year deal with Disney after two hours of talks with the US Government yesterday. 

Absolutely Everything Can Kill You, Warns Department Of Health

EVERYTHING will carry a government warning label, under plans to prevent anything from happening, the Department of Health has announced.