News

Britain Loves Orgasms

BRITAIN loves having orgasms and is currently enjoying the most intense and sustained feelings of genital pleasure since records began. 

Ministers Unveil £400 Million Plan To Shout At Fat People

BRITAIN'S fat people are to be hounded into submission through a multi-million pound strategy of shouting and community violence.

Global Economy Now Run By F*cknuts

THE US Federal Reserve is to give everyone in America a spaniel in a bid to prevent recession in the world’s biggest economy. 

Clooney Bags Oscar Nod For 'Timothy Claypole'

GEORGE Clooney has landed a fourth Oscar nomination for his acclaimed performance as a tormented 12th Century court jester.

Idiot Stockbrokers Continue To Ruin Your Life

STOCKBROKERS are preparing for a third day of running around and waving their hands in the air, shouting 'nooooooooooooooooooo!!!'.

Bed Full Of Frogs 'Bad For Sleep'

FILLING your bed with frogs before you go to sleep could stop you getting a decent night's rest, new research reveals.

My Balls Are So Huge, Claims Paxman

JEREMY Paxman has written to the chief executive of Marks & Spencer to tell him that his balls are huge.

Home Office To Target Scrabulous Extremists

FANATICS who use the internet as a platform for militant Scrabulism will be hunted down like wild pigs, the Home Office said last night.