News

Clinton Slump Shows U.S. Still Not Ready To Vote For A Harpie

AMERICANS may still not be ready to vote for an annoying, screechy harridan after Hillary Clinton's poor showing in the Iowa caucus.

Smokers More Likely To Be Eaten By Dragons

SMOKERS are nearly five times more likely to be eaten by dragons than non-smokers, a new study suggests. 

Britain Explodes At Both Ends

BRITAIN exploded at both ends last night as the latest gastric superbug lit up the nation's bathrooms.

Snoooooooooooooooooooooooooow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BRITAIN was huddled close together last night as the first snowfall of winter launched a massive assault on our cherished way of life.

Total Darkness Link To Blinding Headaches

WANDERING around your house in total darkness is the single biggest cause of serious headaches, a new study has revealed.

2008 To Be A 'Litany Of Unremitting Shitness', Say Experts

THIS year will start shit and then get shitter until it gets so shit that eating a shit sandwich will seem like a blessed relief, a leading expert said last night.

Britain Signs Up For Vorderman's 28-Day Piss-Drink Detox

AS millions of Britons begin their New Year detox, a record number of health conscious consumers are signing up for a month-long regime of drinking their own urine.