News

Poldark to gain weight and realise he is gay

THE BBC drama Poldark is to become even more gripping as the main character gains four stone and struggles with his sexuality.

Couple certain they are better than all other couples

TWO people in a relationship are convinced that they are the best couple.

Pert skimpy assets derriere beach fun

PERKY posterior beach body confidence ample cleavage, it has emerged.

World leaders openly taking the piss out of Brexit

EVERYONE at the G20 summit finds Brexit hilarious, Theresa May has confirmed.

Drunk Scottish friend's text 'possibly paragraph from Irvine Welsh novel'

A SCOTSMAN has sent a drunken text to his friend that may or may not be a passage from an Irvine Welsh novel.

Woman wants children before all the good baby names are taken 


A WOMAN has revealed she wants to have children before her friends take all the good baby names.

Scratch cards considered dessert in Hull

SCRATCH cards are considered the perfect dessert after a nice meal in Hull, it has emerged.

Seasonal aisle in Asda takes moment to reflect on mortality

THE seasonal aisle in a supermarket is reflecting on the passing of summer into autumn and the inexorable march of time.