News

Big-hearted rail companies not going to burn down your house

IN an act of unprecedented generosity, Britain’s train companies have confirmed they will never set fire to your house.

Massive suitcase ideal for train

A MAN believes it was the right decision to take the largest suitcase he could find onto a crowded train.

Family whose mum feeds them on £3 a day spending £42 a day on snacks

A FAMILY whose mother boasts of providing them with healthy, nutritious meals for £3 a day secretly spend £294 a week on junk food.

Man reveals bigger belly than Beyonce

A 54-YEAR-OLD man has delighted the internet with a photo of his huge stomach.

New Doctor Who should be a Dalek, say Daleks

DALEKS have demanded that the new Doctor Who should be a Dalek.

Warhammer demon thing apologises for wearing fur

A CHAOS Daemon from space wargame Warhammer 40,000 has shamefacedly yielded to PETA’s request to remove fur from its armour.

Local handyman forced to accept some jobs are too big or small

A LOCAL odd job man has admitted that some jobs are too big or small for him.

Trump sacks everyone who doesn't look like a recently-reanimated corpse

DONALD Trump has fired all officials who lack the blank-eyed stare of the undead.