BRITAIN is facing an epidemic of people hitting themselves in the face with their phones while lying in bed each morning.
DAVID Cameron and Nigel Farage have gone into battle over who is the biggest ponce.
A WOMAN has been banned from her local arthouse cinema for eating a big bag of Revels.
LOW-EARNERS are facing criticism for making practically no contribution to taxation when compared to the extremely rich.
A MAN visiting London stupidly believed a night out in the West End would be enjoyable.
DONALD Trump is continuing to stress how intelligent he is, while finding increasingly inarticulate ways of doing of so.
LIVERPOOL is an entirely fictional city, Rupert Murdoch has insisted.
A CHILD’S first birthday was marked by his parents going out for a meal, they confirmed.