News

Millions of people dropping phones on their face each morning

BRITAIN is facing an epidemic of people hitting themselves in the face with their phones while lying in bed each morning.

Cameron and Farage in ‘war of the ponces’

DAVID Cameron and Nigel Farage have gone into battle over who is the biggest ponce.

Woman thrown out of arthouse cinema for eating huge bag of Revels

A WOMAN has been banned from her local arthouse cinema for eating a big bag of Revels.

People who earn f**k-all blasted for paying no tax

LOW-EARNERS are facing criticism for making practically no contribution to taxation when compared to the extremely rich.

Non-Londoner assumed night out in West End would be pleasurable

A MAN visiting London stupidly believed a night out in the West End would be enjoyable.

Trump finding increasingly stupid ways to tell people how clever he is

DONALD Trump is continuing to stress how intelligent he is, while finding increasingly inarticulate ways of doing of so.

Liverpool is not a real place, claims Rupert Murdoch

LIVERPOOL is an entirely fictional city, Rupert Murdoch has insisted.

Parents realise child's first birthday party is total waste of time

A CHILD’S first birthday was marked by his parents going out for a meal, they confirmed.