A CHUPA Chups lolly has defeated all attempts to remove its plastic wrapping.
THE prime minister has hosted a drinks party honouring the economic contribution made by the country's twats.
HEROIN addict Tom Logan has reached a walking speed of 18 miles per hour while going to score.
FORMER prime minister Tony Blair has submitted his CV to the newly-declared Islamic Caliphate in the Middle East.
FLEXIBLE working is impractical for jobs where work needs to be done, it has emerged.
CHRISTIAN Bale has become permanently stuck in character as a gifted yet pretentious actor.
OVER 5,000 people have been killed in a field in a faithful re-enactment of the Battle of Bannockburn.
CLAIMS that rain wouldn’t dampen spirits at Glastonbury and Wimbledon this weekend have been proved wrong.