A MAN has unwittingly laid the groundwork for a disastrous Christmas lunch by forgetting to say that his girlfriend is vegan.
SOME bollocks about bin collections, it has been confirmed.
A GROUP of teenagers has managed to turn a 25-minute rail journey into a tiresome drama starring themselves, it has emerged.
A FATHER-OF-TWO is psyching himself up to assist with the cooking on Christmas Day.
JESUS had a goatee for a bit but nobody was into it, it has emerged.
A MAN has explained to family and friends that he does not want a lot for Christmas, and leaving the EU is all he needs.
A CAT is acting tough because of being outside.
A MAN has spent several hundred pounds on weird food that he would never consider buying during the rest of the year.