LOVING working-class grandparents are to be reassigned to cold, ambitious middle-class families in dire need of them.
BRITAIN has been cleared to leave the EU because Brexit is perfectly usable while other countries have been permanently barred.
FORMER RBS chief Fred Goodwin is enjoying another lovely day while you pay off his debts.
THERE is a striking transformation from ‘clever’ to ‘gorgeous’ whenever lady scientists take off their glasses, it has been claimed.
THE kindly-seeming old ladies running HSBC have decided to sack 8,000 people because profits are down.
NOBODY is any the wiser as to why 11-year-old Wayne Hayes is a little shit after a parents’ evening at his school.
A MAN claiming to appreciate a wide range of music has been unable to name a specific act or album that he likes.
THE release of Jurassic World has seen middle-aged bespectacled velociraptors reminiscing about starring in its predecessor.