ACADEMICALLY exceptional people are lying about their inability to do everyday domestic tasks, it has emerged.
TIZER has been named a fizzy drink of outstanding cultural importance by the UN.
SECURITY staff at Wireless Festival were overwhelmed by crowds fleeing the likes of David Guetta and Nicki Minaj.
NOTTINGHAM post-punk duo Sleaford Mods have expressed surprise and joy at becoming godparents to Princess Charlotte.
GREEK king of the gods Zeus has warned his mortal subjects that he is not up for any sort of confrontation with Angela Merkel.
THE government has told the BBC not to prejudice the public by referring to the T-800 as the Terminator.
THE sun is shining, which means that you can only look in enviously at the comforts of your home while you chew meat in the garden.
THE Greek people are ready to give their final yes or no vote on an unknown issue that will decide their entire future.