News

Butterflies and bees thank Muhammad Ali for the compliment

BUTTERFLY and bee populations have paid tribute to Muhammad Ali and thanked him for his gracious compliment.

New series of Homeland to be set in reality

THE MAKERS of TV drama Homeland have announced that the next series will make the leap to being set in the real world.

Oh no darling, will you have less holiday? say straight-faced parents

PARENTS have reacted to school summer holidays being cut to five weeks with an outpouring of feigned sympathy.

Dogs refuse to recognise other dogs’ right to exist

DOGS are continuing to loudly resist the rights of other dogs to exist in the same street, park or garden as them.

Town launches urgent appeal to help man without a shed

A MIDLANDS town has launched an urgent charity campaign to help a 47-year-old man who has found himself without a shed.

Churchill reference a bit obscure, worries racist

A BRITISH patriot is worried that the five pound note featuring Winston Churchill is too obscure for its target audience.

Taylor Swift remembers who she was sent back from 2839AD to kill

THE android known as ‘Taylor Swift’ has remembered who she was sent from the future to kill.

Albus Potter’s idiot uncle unveiled

THE new Harry Potter play will feature Harry’s time-wasting brother Geoff constantly coming round with some stupid problem or request, it has emerged.