International F**k Off and Leave Me Alone Day a resounding success

INTERNATIONAL Fuck Off and Leave Me Alone Day has proved more successful than International Happiness Day or World Poetry Day, it has emerged.

Man arrives at work to find he's lost ten years of his life

A MAN has arrived at his office job to find that he has lost an entire decade of the only life he will ever have.

Kid wonders why he's being punished with day out to historic town

A TEN year old boy doesn't know what he did to deserve being punished with a day out to a really old fucking town in the middle of nowhere.

Absolute psychopath puts on socks before pants

AN ABSOLUTE psychopath has confirmed he puts his socks on before his pants.

Why I’m deleting Facebook, by someone who has no idea it also owns WhatsApp and Instagram

Facebook is no longer a force for good. And that is why I am deleting my profile while continuing to use WhatsApp and Instagram.

Millennials need better social skills, says pissed baby boomer 

A 64-YEAR-OLD drinking her way through retirement has informed millennials that the reason they are not doing better is because of their poor social skills.

Mum and Dad only getting into bloody country & western

A COUPLE in their 50s are throwing themselves into the local country & western scene with sodding cowboy hats and everything, it has emerged.

Why asking me to be your bridesmaid at the age of 38 will end our friendship

IT’S not my fault you’re getting married. I don’t see why I should be punished.