THE chanting bit from rave classic Voodoo Ray by A Guy Called Gerald will be sung at international sporting events, it has been confirmed.
A HUG became creepy after going on too long with an element of hair-touching, it has emerged.
NEIGHBOURS have confirmed the recent drop in temperature during a top level over-the-fence meeting.
A SUPERMARKET queue is becoming unbearably tense due to a shortage of dividers.
THE residents of a Bronze Age village were bitterly opposed to Iron Age migrants from Europe, archaeologists have found.
MILLIONS of unsold Creme Eggs are about to break open and release the hideous monsters inside, scientists have confirmed.
MODEL Jerry Hall, whose four previous husbands met unexplained deaths, is to become the sixth wife of convicted poisoner Rupert Murdoch.
JUNIOR doctors have abandoned their strike action because they are just so f**king exhausted.