News

Worker reproduction to be made more affordable

WORKING humans are to receive financial assistance with the cost of breeding new additions to the labour pool.

British Gas smart meter switches all your stuff on when you’re not there

NEW British Gas 'smart meters' wait until you go out and then switch on all your appliances.

Welsh weather explained to TripAdvisor beach judges

THE TripAdvisor judges who rated a Welsh beach as one of the world's top ten are being educated on the country's weather.

New pound coin provokes tiresome pensioner nostalgia

THE 'thrupenny bit'-influenced £1 coin has left pensioners unable to shut up about how cheap everything used to be.

Left-handed people mostly not geniuses

FAVOURING your left hand does not mean you are some sort of creative genius.

Russia turns down Crimea

CRIMEA'S application to join the Russian Federation has been refused because it is 'cold and boring'.

Health not that important

YOUR health is not especially important, according to a new study.

Crimeans hoping Putin okay with 97 per cent

THE people of Crimea are hoping Vladimir Putin is happy with their overwhelming love for Russia.