THE Turin Shroud has been updated to reflect that Jesus would have worn mid-priced sportswear if he were alive today.
US PRESIDENTIAL candidate Hilary Clinton is to use nineties Alanis Morrisette song You Oughta Know as her campaign anthem.
SUPERMARKET shoppers have told Which? they are fully aware that they are being ripped off but still want to live.
THERE have been severe delays to London Underground’s Central Line because of difficulty crossing the swampy waters of the river Styx.
HOMEOWNER Julian Cook fears his life will become meaningless upon the completion of a six-year DIY project to create a guest bedroom.
A MOB with flaming torches has laid waste to Castle Wonga, home of the evil Count Wongula.
THE supervoid was carefully placed to make the rest of the universe look 'cleaner', it has been claimed.
FIVE 'Nessie hunters' have been killed and eaten after a thrilling encounter with a giant aquatic lizard.