THE British economy is now completely dependent on 19-year-olds playing and narrating computer games.
DOG enthusiasts have called for stranger and more physically dysfunctional breeds.
PUBLIC support for the European Union peaks when it is lording it over the USA, it has emerged.
INCREASINGLY narcissistic Britons only want to have sex with themselves, it has emerged.
WOMEN with no interest in copulation are bereft following the marriage of their dream man George Clooney.
ACTOR Stephen Fry has admitted refusing to share his cocaine with a furious Prince Philip.
THE new FIFA game is so realistic that it knows if players are smokers, drug addicts or closeted homosexuals.
ALEX Salmond has been asked if he would like to run Syria for a bit.