PIRATE personas are limited to saying one syllable in a funny voice, it has been confirmed.
THE Queen has become Britain's longest-serving monarch but wants celebrations kept low-key in case people realise the royal thing is a huge scam.
A ROCKY Horror Show fan is actually disgusted by the lifestyles it depicts, he has revealed.
A 10-YEAR-OLD has been suspended by her headmaster just for having an obscene anti-school slogan shaved into her hair.
A TAILGATER on the fast lane of the M1 has been shocked to discover another car a short distance ahead of the one that was blocking him.
THE new owner of a bread maker is considering taking the machine into the garden and smashing it into a million pieces.
WHISKY ‘connoisseurs’ are just ruddy-nosed cash dispensers, according to new research.
A MIDDLE-AGED father of two is obviously enjoying becoming an ‘expert’ on internet dangers.
- Woman hopes to meet the right man then reject him because of a tiny superficial detail
- Workers perplexed as colleague opts for wet-look gel
- Number of years you’ve been alive 'tells you how old you really are'
- We need to look after our own first, say people who would never help anyone
- Crowd at prog rock gig unsure when to applaud