DEVOTING your life to money-saving tips will cause you to die alone and unloved, experts have warned.
A PETITION to stop Glasgow being razed to the ground has reached 30 signatures and is hoping to hit 50 by the weekend.
BARISTAS at Starbucks are permitted to draw erect penises on attractive customers’ cups, it has emerged.
UNAIRED Top Gear footage will be edited to show Jeremy Clarkson regenerate as writer Sir Salman Rushdie.
THE Turin Shroud has been updated to reflect that Jesus would have worn mid-priced sportswear if he were alive today.
US PRESIDENTIAL candidate Hilary Clinton is to use nineties Alanis Morrisette song You Oughta Know as her campaign anthem.
SUPERMARKET shoppers have told Which? they are fully aware that they are being ripped off but still want to live.
THERE have been severe delays to London Underground’s Central Line because of difficulty crossing the swampy waters of the river Styx.