THE UK’s intelligence agency is using Twitter to ask if anyone has any terrorist stuff going on this weekend.
ANYONE without a valid passport is to be confined in a vast internment camp the size and shape of the United Kingdom.
WOMEN’S magazines recommend films that every other media outlet finds reprehensible, experts have discovered.
THE BBC is to introduce a new rolling 24-hour channel dedicated to breakfast TV.
PEOPLE who don't like everything must have something wrong with them, it has been confirmed.
MARK Zuckerberg has sacrificed himself to make Facebook work again.
SOCIAL contact with neighbours must be avoided at all costs, experts have warned.
BRITONS taking Spanish lessons are just doing it to meet someone nice, it has been confirmed.