News

Everyone thinks their baby or kitten could be a model

ALL owners of babies or kittens are convinced they would be perfect for lucrative advertising work.

Downton Abbey to get a wormhole

A HOLE in the space-time continuum is to allow the makers of Downton Abbey to introduce product placement.

People with trust funds think it’s normal

TRUST fund recipients think it is normal to have large amounts of free money.

Fire drills ‘raise false hopes that office is burning’

ROUTINE fire drills have been condemned for making workers think the place they hate most will be destroyed.

‘Underclass’ delivering value for money

THE ‘underclass’ are giving Britons a sense of superiority for only £30bn a year.

Devil Woman is real, say Cliff Richard fans

SEX abuse allegations against Sir Cliff Richard are the result of a long-standing feud with Devil Woman, it has been claimed.

Scientists develop angst battery

PEOPLE will soon charge their phones using unhappiness, say scientists.

Man not like other men in lapdancing club

31-YEAR-OLD strip club visitor Wayne Hayes has condemned the other men there as perverts.