HOSTAGES aboard the hijacked EgyptAir plane assumed 'selfie man' was planning a heroic act, it has emerged.
OWNERS of idiotic dogs have told their pets to pay for their own health insurance.
EVERYONE in Britain is now unable to do the thing they are paid to do after a four-day weekend.
THE BBC has unveiled an ambitious timetable to begin using actors who did not go to public school.
UMBRELLA users have announced that everyone else must get out of their way.
A NORTHERNER is convinced that everyone from Southern England is upper class.
BRITAIN’S getting-up time has been altered to prevent the workforce from becoming too happy.
A MAN is teaching his new iPhone an extensive vocabulary of swear words.