News

Who is Morrissey? ask young people

PEOPLE under 25 have demanded to know who this so-called Morrissey is.

'This was a false flag' says arsehole who thinks everything is a f**king false flag

AN ARSEHOLE has claimed that every terrorist attack of the last 20 years was a 'false flag' perpetrated by the government.

12 things that make Manchester better than pretty much anywhere

1. It, obviously, has the best bands. Sorry Glasgow and wherever else bands come from.  

Pirates of the Caribbean 5 ‘accurately depicts tedium of 18th century sea travel’

THE latest Pirates of the Caribbean film has been praised for recreating the boredom and restlessness of 18th Century sea voyages.

Cuts mean army can do lots of other 'police stuff', says May

THERESA May has confirmed the army will increasingly ‘stand in’ for the police while reassuring Britain that it is 'totally fine'.

Vatican 'like a two-star motel', Trump tells Pope

DONALD Trump has dismissed the the Vatican as 'low rent' and told the Pope to spend some money on it.

Everyone finally able to admit Roger Moore was best Bond

ROGER Moore was the best Bond even if it was never cool to say that, everyone has admitted.

Humanity levels raised to 'high'

LEVELS of kindness and co-operation across the UK have been raised to their highest point in recent history.