News

Prescription drugs cause liberal outburst

A COMMITTED racist and homophobe has blamed pain-killing medication for a string of cogent arguments in favour of multi-culturalism and gay rights.

Woman’s arty gift shop is a shrine to pointlessness

THE proprietor of a shop selling tasteful artisan gifts has realised it is all just so f*cking irrelevant.

Video game quickly being made controversial

THE creators of a tedious, badly-designed computer game are hurriedly adding gratuitous sex and violence.

First female bishop appointed just 45 years after humans landed on moon

THE Church of England has managed to appoint a female bishop within half a century of humans setting foot on another world.

Ruined ski holidays put smile on everyone else's faces

A SHORTAGE of snow in the Alps has cheered up thousands who love to see the middle classes spend money on going to see some rocks.

Domestic drones obviously insane

PRIVATELY operated drones are a sign that society has lost its mind, experts have confirmed.

The Missing finale reveals kid was in Narnia

CHILD abduction drama The Missing is a prequel to the next Narnia series, it has emerged.

Drinking during day temporarily not shameful

THE social stigma attached to daytime drinking sessions has been lifted for the festive season.