DOCTORS will no longer see patients who arrive with a cigarette in one hand and an energy drink in the other.
ADORABLE scallywag Prince George has been melting hearts in Canada by threatening to execute everyone.
A HOUSEHOLD that describes itself as ‘bohemian’ just needs to tidy up and push the hoover round, guests have agreed.
PRIMATES are unsure why they have yet to take over the planet when humanity is clearly doing such a terrible job.
ALL problems at Sports Direct will disappear now Mike Ashley is chief executive, jubilant employees have confirmed.
A WOMAN has successfully completed the week without giving a toss about the Brangelina split or the cake show.
MARY Berry has quit The Great British Bake-Off because of all the bullshit going down.
WINDOWS 10 has been condemned by Amnesty International as cruel and inhumane.