A LONDONER is desperate to hear more about the provinces after learning of ‘life forms beyond the M25’.
DONALD Trump is currently hiding from the media as if he owes them two months’ rent money, it has been confirmed.
DAVID Cameron and George Osborne were in charge of putting the names of Oscar winners in the right envelopes, it has emerged.
THERE are always fewer Mini Eggs in a bag than even the lowest estimate, mathematicians have confirmed.
A MAN who feels immigration is negatively affecting his life cannot give a single concrete example of how, he has revealed.
AN ADULT human has scolded herself after spending almost 30 seconds giving a fuck about some bullshit that happened at the Oscars.
A NEWLY adopted dog is realising he has been brought in to prevent a break-up.
A PAIR of deranged maniacs are going to take their children to a music festival while their friends stand back and let them.
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- New BBC Scotland channel to show English programmes with derisive Scottish commentary
- Trump is on glue, confirms White House