News

Cat thinks 'missing cat' poster is some sort of weird pin-up

A CAT has been left confused by a ‘lost cat’ poster because the cat in it is quite hot.

Heartfelt status update quickly scanned for anything of any real importance

A HEARTFELT Facebook status update has been quickly scanned to see if the poster was saying anything important or just after a bit of attention.

UK responds thoughtfully to German election with Hitler jokes

BRITONS have responded to the worrying rise of the far-right in Germany with thoughtful, well-considered Hitler jokes, it has emerged.

People doing PhDs admit it's just an excuse to fanny about

PHD STUDENTS have admitted it is just an excuse to spend another three years arsing about.

Left-wing Londoner pretending to be pleased about Uber ban

A GUARDIAN-reading Londoner is hailing the Uber ban as a victory for worker’s rights despite being secretly pissed off.

Size of wine glass linked to how smug you are

PEOPLE who make a point of drinking out of wine glasses the size of fish bowls are the smuggest bastards of all, it has been confirmed.

Car apparently fun

A MAN owns an extra car that he claims to drive for ‘fun’, it has emerged.

New dating app launched for Remainers incapable of discussing anything else

OBSESSIVE Remain voters who have lost the ability to think about any other topic now have their own dating app.