News

Bowling only of interest to show-offs

TRIPS to bowling alleys are always organised by men who want to show off, it has emerged.

Polish man accused of deluging village

A POLISH man is overwhelming a village in Cornwall, it has been claimed.

Time travel possible just by getting everyone to agree on a new time

SCIENTISTS have confirmed that time travel is achievable simply by picking the desired time and getting everyone to go along with it.

Russell Brand’s revolution to consist mainly of nutters

THE vanguard of Russell Brand’s revolution will be people who are out of their minds, it has been confirmed.

New remote doesn’t have any buttons that f**k the TV

A NEW TV remote has no buttons that completely fuck up the television.

Lord Sugar actually unemployed

THE winner of this year’s Apprentice will fill in Lord Sugar’s job applications while he watches daytime TV, the BBC has admitted.

Cold-calling divorce lawyers promise compensation for bad marriages

DIVORCE lawyers are making unsolicited calls to ask if you have suffered a marriage, relationship or children that are not your fault.

Cameron urges Britons to steal from European hotels

DAVID Cameron has told British tourists to recoup the UK’s £2 billion EU surcharge by stealing things from continental hotels.