News

Waitrose totally freaks out

CLASSY supermarket Waitrose has completely lost it after everyone took the piss with its free hot drinks.

Crowdfunding site launched for people who just want some recreational drugs

A NEW crowdfunding website has been launched to help people who want free money for drugs.

Spammer’s heart just not in it anymore

AN idealistic young spammer has become increasingly disillusioned with his profession.

School overrated

GOING to school is largely a waste of time, according to experts.

Cumberbatch to play Alan Hansen

BENEDICT Cumberbatch has been confirmed to play football pundit Alan Hansen in a forthcoming biopic.

Hawks ‘worst pet craze ever’

THOUSANDS of Britons have been maimed after buying hawks on a whim, it has emerged.

Eastenders to become first horror soap

THE new horror-themed trailer for EastEnders marks a permanent change of direction for the show, the BBC has announced.

Trains set free to roam as they please

RAIL bosses have given up trying to control their trains and have set them free to roam wild.