A COMMITTED racist and homophobe has blamed pain-killing medication for a string of cogent arguments in favour of multi-culturalism and gay rights.
THE proprietor of a shop selling tasteful artisan gifts has realised it is all just so f*cking irrelevant.
THE creators of a tedious, badly-designed computer game are hurriedly adding gratuitous sex and violence.
THE Church of England has managed to appoint a female bishop within half a century of humans setting foot on another world.
A SHORTAGE of snow in the Alps has cheered up thousands who love to see the middle classes spend money on going to see some rocks.
PRIVATELY operated drones are a sign that society has lost its mind, experts have confirmed.
CHILD abduction drama The Missing is a prequel to the next Narnia series, it has emerged.
THE social stigma attached to daytime drinking sessions has been lifted for the festive season.