At least one of your friends thinks they are protected by a guardian angel

SOMEONE you probably know quite well believes they have a kindly invisible friend watching their every move, it has been confirmed.

Does yours have a trumpet?

A survey by the Bible Society found that one in three Britons is in fact a secret maniac, and some of them may be teaching your children or dispensing vital medicines at your local pharmacy.

According to the study 31% said they are protected by a guardian angel, while 17% said they don’t know if an invisible ghost with wings is hovering a few inches above their heads.

Tom Logan, professor of maths at Reading University, said: “Thirty one plus 17 is 48. And as one of this country’s leading mathematicians, let me assure you that 48 is almost 50.

“That means that either you or me is wholly or partly convinced that our fate is in the hands of some benevolent, see-through social worker.

“And in case you’re wondering, it’s not fucking me.”

But Bible Society director, Dr Ann Holt, insisted there was ‘plenty of evidence that there are presences in this world beyond the human’ though she did run out of suggestions after cats, badgers and anteaters.

Psychiatrist, Dr Julian Cook, said: “From now on everyone you meet could potentially be in possession of a guardian angel.

“You should watch out for things such as them holding the door open for slightly longer than average, or suddenly bursting out laughing for no obvious reason. Also, they may pour three cups of tea when there’s only the two of you.”