Attenborough to make new planet

14-12-16

DAVID Attenborough has documented all aspects of our planet and is building a new one, it has been confirmed.

The 90-year-old broadcaster has confirmed that he is preparing a new planet by shaping soil and rocks into a huge ball with his bare hands, then sprinkling some DNA onto it.

David Attenborough said: “Let’s face it I’ve well and truly done Earth. Twice, in fact.

“There’s not a single animal, however insignificant, that I haven’t commentated over and affably anthropomorphised.

“Don’t get me wrong, Earth’s a very creditable planet but I think I can rustle something up that’s at least as good.”

Sources close to Attenborough suggest he has already created blueprints for a workable aquatic ecosystem and spent much of last weekend working on a flying kangaroo.

Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “Earth was created by a set of completely unique conditions and has taken around 4.5 billion years to reach its current state.

“But I reckon Attenborough should be able to knock something up in time for the Autumn 2017 TV season.”

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