Bebo Assumes Aliens Are As Shallow And Self-Absorbed As Humans

10-10-08

BEBO is sending messages from its users 120 trillion miles into space in the expectation aliens will prove as shallow and self-obsessed as they are.

How will the aliens kill Zac Efron?

The social networking site has sent some 500 drawings and text messages to the planet Gliese 581c which it says has the moist and slightly fetid conditions perfect for sustaining pointless teenage lives.

It hopes its members will discover intelligent beings on Gliese and then ask them to rate each of the Jonas Brothers out of 10.

Nikki Hollis, 14, said she was mainly looking for friendship and giggles but would love to date an alien if he was totally hot like Zac Efron or Dougie from McFly and not short and fat like ET.

Hollis said: "Heyahhh aliens. Whatya doing? I am totally grounded 'cos I got drunk at school again. Arf.

"I am totally sassy, original – and a bit mental! Or so my friends say!! How many arms have you got?"

Wayne Hayes, 15, said: "R U hot? I M horny. Will U sex dance for me on cam? I want 2 C U alien ass baby. Here is drawing of my cock. It's a huge one!!"

A spokesman for Gliese said last night: "For years we have studied your civilisation waiting for it to evolve beyond social networking.

"We now realise you are nothing more than bacteria. We will make Independence Day look like Room with a View."

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