Cloning a mammoth is a shit idea, say experts

12-12-11

PLANS to clone a woolly mammoth have been dismissed as incredibly stupid and shit.

That's just what British retailers need right now. Mammoths.

Reactions to the research project included ‘not this crap,again?’, ‘you interrupted me for that?’ and ‘look, just fuck off’.

Zoologist Dr Bill McKay said: “What our overcrowded, resource-stretched planet needs right now is loads of massive, genetically engineered hairy elephants, charging all over the place and wrecking shit up. For Christ’s sake.

“Maybe we can give them some PCP too, and let them run wild through Debenhams, if we’re going balls-out for the stupidest fucking idea ever.

“And where are they going to live? In an icy wasteland? I’m sure they’ll thrive in a secure, non-threatened habitat like that, you fucking morons.”

Gene researcher Dr Emma Bradford, added: “Mankind’s proved itself absolutely tip-fucking-top at looking after the wildlife we already have, hasn’t it?

“Why should we resurrect this poor bastard, when he’s just going to end up in a circus wearing a fez, or in a Cornish Pastie?

“Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should. Or at least have the decency to try and do some dinosaurs first, you fucking arseholes.”

 

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