Fury as 'retro 80s arcade' app discovered to be just very poor new games

09-11-11

SMARTPHONE users are on the verge of rioting after the games in the app 80s Shit Arcade Games were discovered to not be old.

Consoles were much better when partly wooden

The app allows shiny thing users to play ‘classic’ games including Block, Block 2, Mr Block, Square vs Oblong, Block Command and Rectangle Attack.

A review in Shiny Thing Owner magazine had described the app as ‘a deliriously addictive retro romp’ and ‘what all gamers who fondly remember Block 2 have been waiting for’.

But it has since transpired that the games featured in the app are not old, but simply of extremely low quality.

80s Shit Arcade Games maker Tom Logan said: “The title was supposed to be 80 Shit Arcade Games, because there’s 80 games and, to be honest, they’re shit.

“But due to a typographical error the extra ‘s’ crept in. We only went with it because we were too indifferent about the whole thing to bother sorting it out.

“And I’m glad we did because now I have so much money I could build a house out of racehorses.”

iPhone 4S owner Stephen Malley said: “As a trend-conscious consumer, all of my things have to be either newer or older than everyone else’s.

“The idea of turning my phone into a shit games console from the 80s is intoxicating. But to turn it into a shit new games console, why would I want to do that?

“It’s perverse.”

Android phone owner Nikki Hollis said: “I’ve already got an Android phone. So this is an extra humiliation that I really didn’t need.”

 

 

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