Hubble Telescope Discovers Vast Galaxy Made Of Porn

14-12-09

THE Hubble telescope has captured images of an enormous galaxy made up entirely of pornography, astronomers have claimed.

The Strachan-Nutkins Belt. You have to squint.

A team of scientists, including physicists, astronomers and a strange, sweaty man you would not want to leave your children with, claim the galaxy could be the filthiest ever observed by mankind.

Professor Nathan Muir, said: "Until now we always believed the Strachan-Nutkins Belt was the grottiest cluster in the known universe, but this has a star that seems to be made of old copies of Back Door Beauties. And that's wrong, even at a sub-atomic level."

The Strachan-Nutkins Belt, discovered in 1992, was named for its resemblance to schoolboy masturbation-fodder Michaela Strachan and fellow Really Wild Show presenter Terry Nutkins at the tail-end of a Shanghai Two-Stroke.

It remains the only 300 light year-wide collection of gas and ice to be included in the Youporn.com Hall of Fame.

Hubble project leaders are keen to verify the porn galaxy to avoid a repeat of last year's controversy when a mysterious collection of large, brightly coloured planets discovered in a distant sector of the universe, turned out to be a handful of peanut M&Ms left on the lens by a careless space shuttle astronaut.

Professor Muir added: "This one's the real deal. We hardly ever lark around with the Hubble. Last year, we got told off after using it to zoom in on some people who were dogging on Hampstead Heath, but that was pretty much the only time.

"We've checked and re-checked the data and what we have found is something truly unique. Very rarely would the Milky Way give me a roaring hard-on, but I certainly board the rocketship to Bonerville every time I check this one out."

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