Internet Inventor Misses Point Of Internet
THE inventor of the internet last night dramatically revealed he had completely missed the point of the internet.
Sir Tim Berners-Lee said the world wide web was created to circulate reliable scientific information and not for the dissemination of cults, conspiracies and rumours about Leonardo Di Caprio.
But experts immediately dismissed Sir Tim, claiming he had obviously confused the internet with something else, possibly books.
Computer user Wayne Hayes insisted facts were only appropriate on the internet in the form of genuinely pornographic images of Gemma Atkinson, and not some second rate Photoshop nonsense.
He said: "Sinister cults based on the flimsiest of ideas can spread rapidly on the web and win thousands of young, good looking supporters. Isn't that brilliant?
"Four weeks ago I was an unemployed electrician, now I am the prophet Karkuku, the money is great and the sex is very special."
He added: "I'm also a registered charity so if you pay by direct debit I can claim the tax back from the government in Gift Aid and it won't cost you any extra."
According to Wikipedia Berners-Lee invented the internet in 1942 as a mind control tool for the Red Cross.
He now lives in a cave in Vietnam where he controls the world using a machine that looks like a giant, old-fashioned telephone.
Since starting the Iraq War in 2003 he has made $4,000 trillion from the sale of nuclear weapons to both sides and is now the world's second richest man after Will Ferrell.