Lazy, Working Class Ufo Sighted Over Midlands

EXTRA-terrestrials are reaching out to the idle working class after a
craft shaped like a high-fat snack was sighted over Dudley.

Dudley councillors are hoping the UFO might land if they fill the local reservoir with squeezy cheese

The flying Dorito is the latest in a wave of UFOs which appear to be shaped like foods popular with the relatively poor and unsophisticated.

Earlier this month two objects described as giant hovering fried chicken wings, possibly Cajun-spiced, were sighted over Derby, while a luminous processed cheese slice was reported near Northampton.

UFO expert, Tom Logan, said: “There must be some thought process behind this, as Doritos are not in themselves especially aerodynamic. It’s possible that the space beings are trying to announce their presence to low income families by demonstrating a shared love of high calorie foods.

“Personally I believe the aliens have changed tack, having found that by trying to connect with humanity via intricate coded messages in crop circles they had vastly overestimated our intelligence.

“Far better to make their presence known in the guise of something fatty and moreish.”

However Roy Hobbs, deputy editor of UFO Bullshit, insisted: “It could just as easily have been a hand-cut Waitrose kettle crisp or something similarly tasteful and expensive.

“Or a perhaps a high quality authentic tortilla chip of the type that might be sold in a wholefoods shop and do not taste good.”

Spacecraft witness Emma Bradford said: “It definitely looked like a Dorito to me. But then I was quite hungry at the time.

“Since then all I can think about is Doritos. I’m even forming my mashed potato into the shape of a Dorito.

“Come to think of it, has anyone asked the people who make Doritos if they have recently purchased a spaceship?”