Missing sock mysteriously returns after three-year absence

A SOCK, missing for three years, has unaccountably returned to the wardrobe from which it vanished.

The light brown sock disappeared following a normal 30-degree wash in the company of several other socks, according to its owner Tom Logan.

Logan said: “It was there when I put a wash on, but when I took it out, it wasn’t there any more.

“It happens sometimes, you don’t question it. You just accept it was that particular sock’s time and you move on.

“But then today I found it underneath a tie, like nothing had happened.

He added: “Did I put it with the ties and forget about it? Is this a brand new sock that formed spontaneously out of thin air?

“Did an interdimensional vortex form in my tumble dryer, trapping my sock inside for three years?

“Anyway, it’s a good sock and I’m glad to have it back. I’m wearing it now.”

Consider subscribing - so we can write more funny content. .js-article{ display:none;}

Big decisions should always be left until last possible moment, confirm experts

LIFE’S most important decisions are best ignored and put off until they become absolutely impossible to avoid, a study has confirmed.

Experts found that taking time to thoroughly think big decisions through is not as effective as making a last minute snap decision based on stress and fear.

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “The more rushed you feel when making a decision, the better you’ll be able to brush things off when it turns out you’ve made the wrong call – which you inevitably will, because you’ve given it almost no thought.”

According to the study, smaller decisions, such as what to have for lunch, or whether to take an umbrella with you to work, should be thought through obsessively.

Professor Brubaker added: “The more you tear the arse out of worrying about the little things in life, the greater your ability to delay thinking about the big things.”

Next story ›