Science & Technology

Samsung watch makes you look like a child pretending to be a spy

SAMSUNG'S new Galaxy Gear watch is aimed at people who want to look like they are playing a kids' spy game, it has emerged.

Toast lands on buttered side because everything is shit

THE reason dropped toast always lands on the buttered side is that everything is shit, according to scientists.

Windows 95 buys Nokia 3210

GROUNDBREAKING operating system Windows 95 has bought the market-leading Nokia 3210 to create a technological juggernaut.

3D of no interest since Jaws 3-D

3D IMAGERY of any kind has not been exciting since the 1983 film Jaws 3-D, it has been confirmed.

Scientists discover normal person called Piers

RESEARCHERS have found a man called Piers who seems normal.

Good riddance, says Voyager 1

VOYAGER 1 has expressed relief at being rid of the human race, as it leaves our solar system.

Hyperloop 'not viable because of flatulence'

TRAVELLERS on a planned 'tubular transportation system' would be suffocated by human wind, it has been claimed.