Science & Technology

Hyperloop 'not viable because of flatulence'

TRAVELLERS on a planned 'tubular transportation system' would be suffocated by human wind, it has been claimed.

Watch the meteor storm tonight, say triffids

TONIGHT'S meteor shower is essential viewing, according to carnivorous alien plants.

Dawkins momentarily forgets all religions are enemies of reason and progress

RICHARD Dawkins last night singled out one religion for being an enemy of human development and rational thought instead of every last one of them.

Edinburgh scientists to capture precise moment when performer's spirit breaks

SCIENTISTS are visiting Edinburgh to photograph the exact moment at which a festival performer's spirit breaks.

World beyond smartphone screen just a dull blur

HUMANS experience the world as a sequence of vague backdrops surrounding their phone screen, it has emerged.

Mysterious humming noise 'made by dads'

THE mysterious humming noise heard around the world is dads attempting to replicate popular music, scientists have claimed.

Mars mission to include insane murderous astronaut

THE three-man Mars mission will include one mentally unhinged astronaut.