Science & Technology

Greedy people have more stuff, say experts

PEOPLE who want lots of stuff are more likely to have it than people who are not really that bothered, scientist have claimed.

NASA discovers World of Work

SCIENTISTS have discovered the World of Work, previously believed to be just a phrase used by politicians and careers advisors.

One million homes need 4G smugness filter

UP to a million homes will need special filters to drown out the bragging of 4G phone owners.

Baby born to male mother still of absolutely no interest to anyone except family

A MAN has given birth to a baby, forcing his friends to pretend to be interested purely out of politeness.

New anti-virus software 'deadliest yet'

THE latest batch of anti-virus software will break your computer even more thoroughly than previous versions, experts have warned.

iPad 3 to be obsessed with prostitutes

THE latest version of Apple's tablet computer will have the personality of a syphilitic Victorian judge, it has emerged.

'Buildings' only hope against cold

BRITAIN'S only hope for surviving the arctic conditions rests in weather-proof structures known as 'buildings', experts have claimed.

"Sorry, did you say 'mind-weapons'?” everyone asks Royal Society

SCIENTISTS have been asked to confirm that they definitely said they could make brainguns and if so, when.