Science & Technology

Comet landing is empirically cool so shut up, say experts

LANDING a robot on a comet is objectively amazing and anyone who disagrees must be shunned, experts have confirmed.

Comet landing already a disaster, say parking bores

MEN who claim to know about parking have been strongly critical of the techniques being used to place the Philae lander on a comet.

Cannabis enhances excuse-making ability

REGULAR cannabis smoking boosts the part of the brain that invents excuses.

Just kill me, says meat-like veggie burger

A VEGETARIAN burger that tastes like meat has said it would rather die than live a tragic double life.

Your house smells weird

YOUR house has a strange aroma that visitors cannot quite identify, it has emerged.

Met Office computer predicts weather and builds robot soldiers

THE Met Office has built a new supercomputer that can detect bad weather and send robots back in time to stop it.

NASA tells astronauts to just go ahead and eat each other

THE crew of the International Space Station has been told it will have to resort to cannibalism after a supply rocket blew up.

Cumberbatch-cancelling headset launched to huge demand

A NEW device that cancels out all mention of Benedict Cumberbatch is selling out everywhere.