Science & Technology

One million homes need 4G smugness filter

UP to a million homes will need special filters to drown out the bragging of 4G phone owners.

Baby born to male mother still of absolutely no interest to anyone except family

A MAN has given birth to a baby, forcing his friends to pretend to be interested purely out of politeness.

New anti-virus software 'deadliest yet'

THE latest batch of anti-virus software will break your computer even more thoroughly than previous versions, experts have warned.

iPad 3 to be obsessed with prostitutes

THE latest version of Apple's tablet computer will have the personality of a syphilitic Victorian judge, it has emerged.

'Buildings' only hope against cold

BRITAIN'S only hope for surviving the arctic conditions rests in weather-proof structures known as 'buildings', experts have claimed.

"Sorry, did you say 'mind-weapons'?” everyone asks Royal Society

SCIENTISTS have been asked to confirm that they definitely said they could make brainguns and if so, when.

Right-wing people smart enough to hate everyone

RIGHT-wingers are intelligent enough to know that everyone is ultimately a self-serving bastard, according to new research.

Snow continues to be the same

THIS year's snow is the same as last year's, it has been confirmed.