Science & Technology

Electric cars to come with choice of six exhaust tones

ELECTRIC cars are to give drivers a choice of six exhaust sounds from 80s Lada to Lamborghini Countach.

Science cannot explain why beards go a bit ginger

SCIENTISTS will never be able to explain why all beards go slightly ginger when they reach a certain length, it has been confirmed.

The Mash guide to the iWatch

EVERYTHING you need to know about a thing you don’t need to know about.

Human penises all either massive or tiny, confirm scientists

MEN’S penises are either porn-style monstrosities or minuscule sources of amusement, it has emerged.

Colour of dress depends on whether you are secretly racist

SOME people see this dress as white and gold because they have hidden racist opinions, it has emerged.

Ghosts unhappy with own logic

GHOSTS have complained that too many aspects of their existence do not make sense.

Obsolete drivers ‘will need new outlets for angry self-pity’

THE era of the driverless car means people will have to find other ways of venting their selfish, red-faced fury, it has been claimed.

Perfect cup of tea renders all other tea pointless

A FLAWLESS cup of tea has made further tea-making redundant, it has been claimed.