Science & Technology

Cloning a mammoth is a shit idea, say experts

PLANS to clone a woolly mammoth have been dismissed as incredibly stupid and shit.

Inventor of driverless car 'inspired by dream of masturbating in back seat of moving vehicle'

AS self-driving vehicles become a reality, their creator has revealed he was inspired by the notion of being able to masturbate while travelling on a busy road.

'New Earth' probably full of arseholes

THE 'New Earth' has a temperate climate, liquid water and is probably teeming with unbearable arseholes, scientists have claimed.

Is this the best stick ever?

A STICK picked up on a cycle path near Stoke may be the finest ever found, it has been claimed.

Mars rover is new must-have middle class car

NASA'S redesigned Mars rover is the new status symbol for middle class Britain.

Leaked climate emails force carbon dioxide to resign

CARBON dioxide has resigned from being a gas, it has been confirmed.

Even darker version of internet 'sounds delightful'

THE notion of a so-called 'darknet' has confounded those who were sure the normal internet represented the very depths of human depravity.

Female orgasm far too complicated, say men

A VIDEO of the female brain during orgasm proves it is far too complicated to be bothered with.