Science & Technology

NASA abandons search for intelligent life on Earth

SCIENTISTS monitoring the airwaves for signs of intelligent life on planet Earth have finally given up, it has emerged.

Fury as 'retro 80s arcade' app discovered to be just very poor new games

SMARTPHONE users are on the verge of rioting after the games in the app 80s Shit Arcade Games were discovered to not be old.

Rescheduled CERN neutrino test to take place last week

CERN'S controversial neutrino experiment will be/has already been/is being rescheduled for last week, scientists have announced/will announce/are currently announcing.

iPhone 4s 'harbours racist views'

APPLE'S latest smartphone has extreme right-wing views caused by prejudiced technology, it has been claimed.

Transplants from poor people to dogs 'a reality'

HUMAN organs can now be used to keep beloved pets alive, vets have claimed.

Robots useless

THE field of robotics is not delivering on any level, experts have claimed.

IOS5 ends Steve Jobs tributes

APPLE idolaters have decided that they don’t miss Steve Jobs quite as much as they thought after their phones started exploding.

Blackberry to explain why world still turning

THE manufacturers of the Blackberry will today be asked to explain why the Planet Earth still exists.