Science & Technology

All new houses to be made of televisions
BUILDERS have completed the first UK home made entirely from television sets.

Dawkins now just telling random strangers why he hates them
RICHARD Dawkins has taken to walking down the street saying horrible, unprovoked things to total strangers.

Scientists develop angst battery
PEOPLE will soon charge their phones using unhappiness, say scientists.

Maths is no place for a woman, claim Pi and the square root of two
WORKING with complex numbers is tough, dirty and should only be done by men, according to some of the universe’s leading mathematical constants.

Hovercrafts mental
HOVERCRAFTS are mental, it has emerged.

DNA project to find out why Britain is so full of arseholes
SCIENTISTS are to map the DNA of everyone in Britain in a bid to find out why so many of you are dreadful.

Exciting new technology nowhere near ready
AN exciting new piece of technology is nowhere near ready and will never come into widespread use.

Computer fad over
FALLING iPad sales have confirmed that the computer fad is now over.