Science & Technology
Hubble Telescope Discovers Vast Galaxy Made Of Porn
THE Hubble telescope has captured images of an enormous galaxy made up entirely of pornography, astronomers have claimed.
Copy Of 'Knave' Discovered In Remote Archipelago
THE global search for a man who has not seen pornography has been abandoned after the discovery of a tattered copy of Knave stashed under a tribal totem in the South Pacific.
OAPs Decide Not To Give Pensioner-Pc A Chance
PENSIONERS have declared that they don't like a new PC designed for them, despite it not being released yet.
Perfect Vagina Includes Video Screen And Crisp Dispenser, Say Men
THE perfect vagina would have a built-in video player with a cheese and onion crisp dispenser attached to it, men said last night.
iPhone Virus Just Increasing Numbers Talking To You About Their iPhone
The first virus to infect the Apple iPhone will greatly increase the chance of somebody talking to you about their iPhone, IT experts warned last night.
色情 Is Chinese For Pornography
色情 is the Chinese for pornography, the internet regulator confirmed last night.
God Found Earth Among Some Of His Other Stuff, Claims Expert
A NEW interpretation of the Bible suggests that God did not create the Earth, but stumbled upon it while looking for a magazine.
Scientists Discover Tedious, Left-Wing Spider
SCIENTISTS have discovered the world's first Guardian-reading spider and are already bored of its never-ending torrent of opinions about everything.