Science & Technology

Even darker version of internet 'sounds delightful'

THE notion of a so-called 'darknet' has confounded those who were sure the normal internet represented the very depths of human depravity.

Female orgasm far too complicated, say men

A VIDEO of the female brain during orgasm proves it is far too complicated to be bothered with.

NASA abandons search for intelligent life on Earth

SCIENTISTS monitoring the airwaves for signs of intelligent life on planet Earth have finally given up, it has emerged.

Fury as 'retro 80s arcade' app discovered to be just very poor new games

SMARTPHONE users are on the verge of rioting after the games in the app 80s Shit Arcade Games were discovered to not be old.

Rescheduled CERN neutrino test to take place last week

CERN'S controversial neutrino experiment will be/has already been/is being rescheduled for last week, scientists have announced/will announce/are currently announcing.

iPhone 4s 'harbours racist views'

APPLE'S latest smartphone has extreme right-wing views caused by prejudiced technology, it has been claimed.

Transplants from poor people to dogs 'a reality'

HUMAN organs can now be used to keep beloved pets alive, vets have claimed.

Robots useless

THE field of robotics is not delivering on any level, experts have claimed.