Science & Technology

Lazy, Working Class Ufo Sighted Over Midlands

EXTRA-terrestrials are reaching out to the idle working class after a craft shaped like a high-fat snack was sighted over Dudley.

Xbox Kinect Targets Middle-Aged People With No Self-Respect

MICROSOFT has launched a new games system in a bid to dominate the market in embarrassing, movement-based fun for middle-aged losers.

KFC Spotted In Corner Of 'The Hay Wain'

ART experts have uncovered a Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant in the corner of Constable's 'The Hay Wain', prompting claims that it could be evidence of time travel.

Neanderthal Man 'Was Capable Of Being A Prick'

EARLY man often indulged in intolerable behaviour similar to that of modern-day pricks, it has emerged.

Earth-Like Planet Actually Sunderland-Like Planet

HOPES of intelligent life on planet Gliese 581g were dashed yesterday as scientists revealed it is actually a bit like Sunderland.

Google Instant To Free-Up Two-Thirds Of A Second Of Your Day

GOOGLE'S new Instant search engine means consumers can finally start using the fraction of a second it used to take them to get a result.

Creation Did Not Involve Chocolate, Claims Hawking

THE creation of the universe did not involve even the tiniest bit of chocolate, according to Professor Stephen Hawking.

Two-Thirds Believe Their Windows Are Giant Screens

MOST people are convinced that the view from their living room is a 2D image made of pixels.