Science & Technology
A MANNED mission to Swindon touched down successfully last night near the town's factory outlet village.
ROBOTS who dislike foreigners and other people's cats are being sold as companions for the elderly.
ENTIRE cities are to be moved and species made extinct to correspond with what it says on Wikipedia, it was confirmed last night.
THE Codex Sinaiticus, believed to be the oldest surviving Bible, features a garish embossed cover and an endorsement from the Emperor Constantine describing it as a 'supernatural page-turner par excellence'.
SCIENTISTS are urging people not to panic when a large, shiny yellow ball appears in the skies over Britain this week.