Science & Technology

Blackberry to explain why world still turning

THE manufacturers of the Blackberry will today be asked to explain why the Planet Earth still exists.

Psychics censoring our abusive messages, say dead people

THE dead have slammed dishonest psychics for deliberately misinterpreting their vengeful, hate-filled messages.

Can we get Flash now? ask Apple owners

OWNERS of iThings have asked if they can get Adobe Flash Player now.

Large Hadron Collider putting family-run particle colliders out of business

MANY small, local particle colliders have been forced to close since the opening of Hadron, it has been claimed.

Humanity breaks speed of light but is still rubbish with money

THE human race has managed to break the speed of light before learning how not to run out of money, it has been confirmed.

Facebook unveils 'turdline'

A NEW Facebook feature will allow users to the tell the story of their turds.

Scientists assume pupils are listening

SCIENTISTS are calling for tougher guidelines on teaching creationism to children who are not paying a blind bit of notice anyway.

Planet with double sunset is full of bad dialogue

A PLANET with two suns is likely to be filled with poor quality dialogue, astronomers have claimed.