Science & Technology

Punk scientists discover fourth chord

LEADING punk scientists have confirmed the existence of a fourth chord.

End of days progressing nicely, says demon overlord

ARMAGEDDON is proceeding on schedule following today's solar eclipse, the lord of the demons has confirmed.

Scientists to hatch Creme Egg

THE age-old question of what sort of creature would emerge from a Creme Egg will finally be answered in time for Easter.

Internet now fully explored, declares Microsoft

MICROSOFT is phasing out Internet Explorer because there is no internet left unexplored.

Facebook to remove anything that isn’t sanctimonious shit

FACEBOOK is now taking down any posts that fail to boast of the user’s clear moral superiority.

Electric cars to come with choice of six exhaust tones

ELECTRIC cars are to give drivers a choice of six exhaust sounds from 80s Lada to Lamborghini Countach.

Science cannot explain why beards go a bit ginger

SCIENTISTS will never be able to explain why all beards go slightly ginger when they reach a certain length, it has been confirmed.

The Mash guide to the iWatch

EVERYTHING you need to know about a thing you don’t need to know about.