Science & Technology

Careless USB removal causes multiple deaths

EIGHTEEN workers have died after a USB stick was removed from a computer without adequate precautions.

Most chimp gestures taking piss out of David Attenborough

CHIMP researchers have discovered a lexicon of 66 gestures, 54 of which are jokes at the expense of Sir David Attenborough.

Porn and Amazon, experts tell government

GOVERNMENT agencies have been advised that 98% of internet traffic is breasts and shopping.

Glass exists, admit flies

FLIES have admitted the universe contains a substance which light can pass through but they cannot.

The Mash guide to the BBC links deleted by Google

THESE are the stories that the rich and powerful don't want you to be able to find.

Yoghurt industry blamed for encouraging bacteria

THE yoghurt industry must start making antibiotic yoghurts or everyone will die, experts have claimed.

Chupa Chup impossible to unwrap

A CHUPA Chups lolly has defeated all attempts to remove its plastic wrapping.

Longest acronym covers all possible reactions

A NEW sixteen-thousand character acronym encapsulates all conceivable reactions to anything seen on the internet.