Science & Technology

Humanity not ready for Easter egg-sized Creme Egg

SCIENTISTS have confirmed that you are not ready for a Easter egg-sized Cadbury’s Creme Egg.

Parents give custody of kids to iPad

AN IPAD has become the legal guardian of two children after their parents could no longer be arsed.

Facebook to add ‘F**k That' button to events

PEOPLE will be able to say ‘F**k That' to event invitations from next week, Facebook has confirmed.

Brian Cox is greatest threat to humanity, warns Stephen Hawking

PROFESSOR Stephen Hawking has warned that the greatest danger facing humanity today is Brian Cox.

Tim Peake’s friend feels his weekend news has been overshadowed

ASTRONAUT Tim Peake's friend has struggled to match his weekend news during a call to the International Space Station.

Nerd wrongly assumed to know about computers

A SELF-STYLED ’nerd’ is unable to fix computers, he has confirmed.

Scientists discover element of pure stupidity

RESEARCHERS have discovered the pure atomic essence of stupidity.

Zuckerberg does not have too much money, says his new ‘robot butler’

MARK Zuckerberg has unveiled a robot servant that will continually reassure him he is not obscenely rich.