Science & Technology

Flavour of Irn-Bru shrouded in mystery

NOBODY knows what the flavour of Irn-Bru is supposed to be, it has emerged.

Remaining Kula Shaker fans to breed

THE last two people who listen to the music of Kula Shaker are undergoing enforced breeding to prevent the extinction of their kind.

NASA probe seeks new planets to borrow money from

A NASA space probe has been launched to find Earth-like planets who can lend us money.

Everyone fine with ‘designer babies’ if it means they don’t do shits

THE public has expressed total approval for genetically altered babies that do not need to shit.

Museum to remove size zero dinosaur

LONDON'S Natural History Museum will remove a fat-shaming dinosaur exhibit, it has confirmed.

Churchill clone actually a bit of an arse

A JURASSIC Park-style clone of Winston Churchill has made Britons realise that the WW2 prime minister may have been an arse.

Yesterday most depressing day of year, say scientists disgusted at what they've become

MONDAY January 19th was officially the most depressing day of the year, according to scientists degrading themselves by concocting media bullshit.

Petri dish goes viral

A PETRI dish has become the centre of attention after developing a new strain of thymosin-derived ACT1 peptide.