Science & Technology

Students demand end to sunshine-revision link

BRITISH students have asked for their exams to be moved to when it is dark and pissing down.

Gay computer is old people's worst fear

A COMPUTER that talks in an effeminate male voice is the biggest fear of the over-70s.

84 per cent would have sex with robots that aren't very advanced

MOST people would have sex with basic robots that don't even have faces.

Rejuvenating blood must be from virgins

BLOOD transfusions can reverse the ageing process but only if the donors are sexually pure, according to scientists.

Angel of the North vows to destroy Morrisons

THE Angel of the North has vowed revenge against Morrisons for projecting a loaf of bread onto its wings.

Dogs evolving into mogwai

DOGS will soon be indistinguishable from Gizmo in Gremlins, it has emerged.

Mills & Boon launches 'Robot Romance' imprint

ROMANTIC fiction publisher Mills & Boon has announced a series of stories about women being courted by alpha male-type robots.

Child happiness based on them either liking or not liking things

CHILDREN are the same as adults only smaller, according to new research.