Science & Technology

New male baldness patterns unveiled

MEN can now suffer from a range of exciting new hair loss patterns.

Vaping carries long-term risk of vaporisation

USERS of vapour cigarettes have a significant chance of being vaporised themselves, research has shown.

New taxi app for people who just want the driver to shut his face

A NEW app will help people find a taxi driver who keeps his mouth shut for the entire journey.

Computers now capable of ill-informed opinions

A COMPUTER programme has mimicked a human conversation by ignoring what the other person said and spouting hackneyed, tabloid nonsense.

15,000 horny morons at risk from virus

THOUSANDS of randy, stupid computer owners are at risk from a virus attached to obviously fraudulent emails.

Google cars only go to Wikipedia

THE new self-driving cars pioneered by Google just go straight to Wikipedia, according to testers.

Students demand end to sunshine-revision link

BRITISH students have asked for their exams to be moved to when it is dark and pissing down.

Gay computer is old people's worst fear

A COMPUTER that talks in an effeminate male voice is the biggest fear of the over-70s.