Science & Technology

Best Emoji won by one that looks like a penis

THE prestigious Emoji awards have given the emoji that most resembles a dick the top prize for the third year in a row.

Clocks go either back or forward this weekend or next weekend

THE UK has been reminded that the clocks go forward for spring, or possibly back, this Saturday or maybe the Saturday after.

Crows better than children

CROWS are as intelligent as children and far less hassle to look after, it has been claimed.

All dietary advice was fruit company conspiracy

FRUIT companies have misled the public into thinking fat and processed sugar are bad, it has emerged.

Live space broadcast drives millions insane

VIEWERS of Channel 4's Live From Space have lost their minds after experiencing the incomprehensible vastness of the universe.

Aliens keep putting off Earth visit

EXTRA-TERRESTRIALS have as little enthusiasm for coming to Earth as we do for visiting elderly relatives, it has been claimed.

Journey to the Center of the Earth was a documentary

THE Brendan Fraser film Journey to the Center of the Earth depicts real events, it has been confirmed.

Berners-Lee demands internet is free, open to all and has more bulldog videos

THE inventor of the internet has said that it must remain free of government interference and have more videos with bulldogs in.