Science & Technology

Nobody sure why status updates shouting at them

NO-ONE is sure why status updates on Facebook are now shouting at them.

Grandma watches looping video on Mail Online for seven hours

A GRANDMOTHER has been watching a 16-second video loop on the front page of Mail Online for almost seven hours, her family has discovered.

Apple reveals iPhone 7 headphones to be inserted anally

THE ‘headphones’ for the new iPhone are designed to be worn inside the rectum, Apple has confirmed.

Black pudding and haggis hybrid escapes from high security butchers

A THING that is both black pudding and haggis has escaped from a high security butcher’s shop.

Owner of outdated iPhone already in physical pain

THE owner of an iPhone 6s is already feeling shame, humiliation and actual physical pain every time he attempts to use it.

BBC closes loophole for whiny freeloaders

PEOPLE with an absurd sense of entitlement will no longer be able to watch BBC iPlayer for free, the broadcaster has confirmed.

People whose names begin with 'A' get pocket-called fifty times per day

PEOPLE whose names begin with an A get pocket-called upwards of fifty times a day, it has emerged.

You can f**k off if you think you’re getting a new iPhone now, says Apple

APPLE CEO Tim Cook has announced that next week’s iPhone 7 launch will not take place because the world does not deserve it.