Science & Technology

‘Retweet with comment’ allows moral crusaders more time for porn

TWITTER'S new 'retweet with comment' feature has made feigning concern quicker, so that users can get back to looking at pornography.

Chocolate still vastly inferior to chips

AS Britain prepares to spend £300 million on chocolate, experts have confirmed that chips are still far better.

Lost hour would have been incredible

BRITONS lost what would have been their greatest hour over the weekend.

Richard III’s tomb includes holograms and prog rock

THE tomb of Richard III includes interactive features, holograms and the music of Rick Wakeman.

Punk scientists discover fourth chord

LEADING punk scientists have confirmed the existence of a fourth chord.

End of days progressing nicely, says demon overlord

ARMAGEDDON is proceeding on schedule following today's solar eclipse, the lord of the demons has confirmed.

Scientists to hatch Creme Egg

THE age-old question of what sort of creature would emerge from a Creme Egg will finally be answered in time for Easter.

Internet now fully explored, declares Microsoft

MICROSOFT is phasing out Internet Explorer because there is no internet left unexplored.