Science & Technology

Bees Dying Out Not Really A Big Deal

SCIENTISTS are no longer bothered by the prospect of bees dying out, after discovering it is not that big a deal.

Software Security Firms Develop Fantastic Excuse

SOFTWARE security firms have come up with a brilliant excuse for why you spend £400 a month on high-grade Belgian filth.

Men Who Care About The G-Spot Are A Myth, Say Experts

THE long-held belief that there may be some men who care whether or not their partners are having a nice time during sexual intercourse is a myth, scientists claimed last night.

1,000 Years Of Cliff Richard, Warn Scientists

SIR Cliff Richard could survive well into the next ice age, according to new research.

Hubble Telescope Discovers Vast Galaxy Made Of Porn

THE Hubble telescope has captured images of an enormous galaxy made up entirely of pornography, astronomers have claimed.

Copy Of 'Knave' Discovered In Remote Archipelago

THE global search for a man who has not seen pornography has been abandoned after the discovery of a tattered copy of Knave stashed under a tribal totem in the South Pacific.

OAPs Decide Not To Give Pensioner-Pc A Chance

PENSIONERS have declared that they don't like a new PC designed for them, despite it not being released yet.

Perfect Vagina Includes Video Screen And Crisp Dispenser, Say Men

THE perfect vagina would have a built-in video player with a cheese and onion crisp dispenser attached to it, men said last night.