Science & Technology

Web Users Tell Phorm To Phuck Off

PHORM, the internet advertising spy, has been told to 'phuck right off' by a majority of web users.

Tiny Island People Were Ewoks, Not Hobbits, Say Scientists

THE tiny human-like bones found on a South Pacific Island may have belonged to small furry creatures known as 'Ewoks', and not Hobbits as previously thought.

Cutting-Edge Scientists Condemned To 8th Circle Of Hell, Says Vatican

SCIENTISTS engaged in cutting edge bio-genetic research will be condemned to the eighth circle of Hell, surrounded for all time by panderers and seducers, the Vatican said last night.

French Scientists In Flubber Breakthrough

A TEAM of French scientists is claiming a major breakthrough in the development of a useable type of flubber.

Women Call For £10 Billion G-Spot Expedition

BRITISH women are calling for an 'unprecedented national effort' after new scientific evidence suggested the fabled G-spot may be real.

Would-Be Saints Must Have Virgin Mary's Mobile Number, Says Vatican

CANDIDATES for sainthood will have to meet more demanding criteria, including regular contact with the Virgin Mary, either via mobile phone or email.

Humans Declare War On Earth-Like Planets

THE Milky Way galaxy could contain thousands of planets with conditions suitable for life and war, according to new research.

Heathrow Installs Roulette Wheel Luggage System

ALL luggage checked-in at Heathrow airport is to be thrown onto a giant roulette wheel in a bid to increase its chances of arriving at the correct destination.